lovesail Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 When my SO was around i was more at peace and conversations seemed more interesting ....but now we find it hard keeping a strong conversation going,he doesn't mind if we just listen to each others silence but its starting to feel like we are not putting in more effort:confused:. we talk of how the day has been and our families,what we are upto but not much of anything romantic apart from missing each other......are we just trying to settle in our ldr first or are we drifting to more of friends and less of lovers? should i be a lil more patient with 'us'? I love my SO, Whats your opinion guys,
carhill Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Try mutual masturbation on Skype or similar. Talk 'dirty' to each other. It's up to both of you to keep intimacy going when separated by distance. If the priority isn't mutual, the R/M is a goner, IMO. I'm assuming you're sexually active with this person and he loves you like you love him. How were/are his conversational skills when you're in person with him?
wildgeese Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 When my SO was around i was more at peace and conversations seemed more interesting ....but now we find it hard keeping a strong conversation going,he doesn't mind if we just listen to each others silence but its starting to feel like we are not putting in more effort:confused:. we talk of how the day has been and our families,what we are upto but not much of anything romantic apart from missing each other......are we just trying to settle in our ldr first or are we drifting to more of friends and less of lovers? should i be a lil more patient with 'us'? I love my SO, Whats your opinion guys, Why not talk about romantic things? My boyfriend and I aren't an overly corny couple or anything, but we definitely make sure to keep the romance alive. It's so important during an LDR! I'm not sure of the circumstances of your relationship. How long have you been together, how long have you been LD, have you met, have you said "I love you" yet? Ways we keep the romance alive (a year and a half together, 4 months LD) while separate: - Even our most mundane texts typically include a pet name (we're a couple that's big on funny names for each other - throwing out even a cautious "dear" or "sweetheart" is sure to please!) and they almost always end with "I love you". We say "I love you" to each other during every conversation, spoken or otherwise. I'm sure other couples might find that going overboard but it suits us. Maybe something like that could suit you? - Send each other pictures, naughty or otherwise! - Talk about the future (your shared future) together. - Be playful. Just because you're apart doesn't mean you can't start new inside jokes or have fun together. I think it's important to remember that the best relationships are also friendships. My boyfriend is my best friend and I'm his. Some days you'll be more friendly/some days you'll be more romantic, but you'll always be loving towards one another. Reassess and see if things really are out of balance. If they really are, bring it up to him or take the reigns yourself and do something heartfelt. Even a sappy email or present can liven things up a bit. If you find the conversation to be seriously lacking, then some type of fundamental connection may be missing. LDRs are all communication and if that isn't strong between you two, that could cause some problems down the road. Best of luck and don't get yourself too worried! Have fun.
Author lovesail Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Try mutual masturbation on Skype or similar. Talk 'dirty' to each other. It's up to both of you to keep intimacy going when separated by distance. If the priority isn't mutual, the R/M is a goner, IMO. I'm assuming you're sexually active with this person and he loves you like you love him. How were/are his conversational skills when you're in person with him? i think we just havent had enough time to really open in so much lately since he moved away cause he joined a new school. we used to talk dirty (mild)but not the masturbation on skype....we are on the learning phase on use of skype and we are still getting into that comfortable spot. our conversations were good though we are both soft spoken so we understand each other well. Befor he left i could feel tension of our impending separation so there were times when we used more non verbal communication.
Author lovesail Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Why not talk about romantic things? My boyfriend and I aren't an overly corny couple or anything, but we definitely make sure to keep the romance alive. It's so important during an LDR! I'm not sure of the circumstances of your relationship. How long have you been together, how long have you been LD, have you met, have you said "I love you" yet? Ways we keep the romance alive (a year and a half together, 4 months LD) while separate: - Even our most mundane texts typically include a pet name (we're a couple that's big on funny names for each other - throwing out even a cautious "dear" or "sweetheart" is sure to please!) and they almost always end with "I love you". We say "I love you" to each other during every conversation, spoken or otherwise. I'm sure other couples might find that going overboard but it suits us. Maybe something like that could suit you? - Send each other pictures, naughty or otherwise! - Talk about the future (your shared future) together. - Be playful. Just because you're apart doesn't mean you can't start new inside jokes or have fun together. I think it's important to remember that the best relationships are also friendships. My boyfriend is my best friend and I'm his. Some days you'll be more friendly/some days you'll be more romantic, but you'll always be loving towards one another. Reassess and see if things really are out of balance. If they really are, bring it up to him or take the reigns yourself and do something heartfelt. Even a sappy email or present can liven things up a bit. If you find the conversation to be seriously lacking, then some type of fundamental connection may be missing. LDRs are all communication and if that isn't strong between you two, that could cause some problems down the road. Best of luck and don't get yourself too worried! Have fun. thanks for the tips and advice wildgeese,we dont lack romance totally,we have pet names,say 'i love you' and flirt once in a while. we have been togethr for almost 2 yrs now on a 2 1/2 hrs ldr but now he's like 6000miles away and we cant meet anymore. i love that we are friends cause we understand each other's needs better. I miss sharing alot with him especially more intimate stuff....but his first semester in his new school has been hectic for him an i most of the time i feel i dont want to overburden him cause he needs my support. He's closing for holiday soon m hoping things will be better and we can have more time to open up to each other on our intimate feelings.
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