Febreze Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Hi everyone I've been on a couple dates with the young resident but it just didn't work out because he tried to get me into bed while at the same time some 19 year old nursing girl so I stopped seeing him. Present info now lol. I started seeing another guy a few years older than me but he suddenly told me that relationships are played out and how I need to get with the theme of casual hookups; how I shouldn't let a sexy body go to waste. My coworker in rehab says the same thing! She's seeing two guys at once and tells me she wont ever get serious because no one really does the old fashioned relationship thing anymore. She claims it's valueless today Maybe I'm just an old-school Irish/Italian girl that needs to get with the flow? Most in my family are in relationships or married, but people I know outside of it are mostly just doing the casual dating and then on to the next prospect. What's going on?
dasein Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 While it's true there are lots of people out there looking for pure hookups, there are also many looking for relationships. Most of those latter types aren't likely to be young medical residents trying to get you into bed with nurses, so maybe enlarge your horizons for where you are looking and whom you are looking for.
wander1991 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Hi everyone I've been on a couple dates with the young resident but it just didn't work out because he tried to get me into bed while at the same time some 19 year old nursing girl so I stopped seeing him. Present info now lol. I started seeing another guy a few years older than me but he suddenly told me that relationships are played out and how I need to get with the theme of casual hookups; how I shouldn't let a sexy body go to waste. My coworker in rehab says the same thing! She's seeing two guys at once and tells me she wont ever get serious because no one really does the old fashioned relationship thing anymore. She claims it's valueless today Maybe I'm just an old-school Irish/Italian girl that needs to get with the flow? Most in my family are in relationships or married, but people I know outside of it are mostly just doing the casual dating and then on to the next prospect. What's going on? I think it depends on the crowd you are hanging out with. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people that would do the old fashioned relationship thing since I know I would and I'm pretty sure some of my male friends would take that over casual hook ups. I guess my comment would sort of be invalid since I'm a guy and I have never been in a relationship/had sex yet. You should do what you think you value more. ps. that guy that says you shouldn't let a body go to waste wants to bang you.
El Brujo Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 It's probably due to the hookup/FWB crowd being able to get their message out faster and wider. Doesn't mean all of us buy it, though...
Woggle Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 That is pretty much what most people are doing but just because everybody jumps off a bridge does not mean you have to.
El Brujo Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I wonder how many are actually living the hookup lifestyle as opposed to just trying to make everyone else believe it. Seems to me that a person with the hookup lifestyle wouldn't give a crap about what anyone else thinks, as long as they keep getting that sex fix. What's next, "pump and kill"?
eleanorhurting Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I am bitter and biased so take what I tell you with a grain of salt. BUT, not everyone is into that kind of situation. I'm not. And if someone says you need to "go with the flow" and tries to make it look like you are too uptight, that person most likely just wants to hit it and quit it. That has been my experience. But my friends say my standards are too high and I am too quick to judge people so take it as you will. Something interesting happened to me the other day. A friend of mine who was notorious for random hook ups and never wanting commitment started dating this guy he met. He texted me super excited about it which was a first for him because he never really gets into the people he sleeps with. I asked my friend if it was casual or what and my friend said "Nope, he only does relationships which is super hot". So there you see that there are people holding out for someone who will appreciate that you are not into casual hook ups and the right person will respect that and even find it "hot".
carhill Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Assuming you're young, the old-school Irish/Italian young men with a more synergistic viewpoint could be found at your local place of worship, stereotypically Catholic. What's happening is you're meeting people on a different path than yours. Tell me, what's your attraction style? In the two instances mentioned, how did it go for you? What about them captured your interest?
U1987 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 This is definitely a regional-cultural thing; every young 20-something girl in my area is trying to find a husband. It's ridiculous
Shaun-Dro Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 This is definitely a regional-cultural thing; every young 20-something girl in my area is trying to find a husband. It's ridiculous You're definitely not from NYC because casual hookups with drunk women is the norm in this god-forsaken place. If a woman in her 20s or 30s show interest in a real relationship, people look at her like "Is she nuts or what?"
carhill Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Depending on where the OP lives in Nassau County, she's practically in NYC.
Cypress25 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Don't believe it! People are still going out on dates and having serious relationships. People are still getting married. It's true that casual hookups are more common than they used to be, but they're not replacing committed relationships. If you don't want casual sex, then don't have it. There are plenty of people your age who want to be in a monogamous relationship.
Shaun-Dro Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Don't believe it! People are still going out on dates and having serious relationships. People are still getting married. It's true that casual hookups are more common than they used to be, but they're not replacing committed relationships. If you don't want casual sex, then don't have it. There are plenty of people your age who want to be in a monogamous relationship. Committed relationships are becoming less the norm today than yesterday.
Dust Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Irish/italian sounds sexy. So he tried to get you in a threesome! wow. No a lot of people want a really deep relationship. The kind where you play 20 questions and stuff like that.
El Brujo Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Committed relationships are becoming less the norm today than yesterday. I think it's more a matter of non-committed relationships coming out of the closet, rather than there being more of them.
Shaun-Dro Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I think it's more a matter of non-committed relationships coming out of the closet, rather than there being more of them. I personally believe that people are just too lazy and carefree to want to be bothered with building a relationship so they look for the quicker fix.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I think it's more a matter of non-committed relationships coming out of the closet, rather than there being more of them. I agree. I think the whole world is going through some growing pains right now. Maybe the human race always is. But we're taking some big steps forward right now, and progress, while natural and necessary for survival, is not always easy. I think we're waking up from some of the myths about romantic love that dominated the last century or so. It doesn't mean there's any less love (or hate) in the world. It's just being expressed in different forms.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I personally believe that people are just too lazy and carefree to want to be bothered with building a relationship so they look for the quicker fix. I'd somewhat agree with this. I do think people are looking for the "quick fix". Taking the most easy route to self gratify for the short term until they need their "fix" again. Relationships require thinking of someone else. Today's culture promotes a "what about me/it's all about me" mentality. I think a combination of people not wanting to think about other people and others just not knowing how to make a relationship work (despite possibly wanting one) are added into the mix. We kind of live in a culture that sells the idea that you *deserve* to have all your needs met in a snap of a finger and if you aren't getting that you must do whatever you can to obtain it. It is all about *you* after all. But I would disagree in the respect that people are "carefree". I don't see a lot of carefree people today. Not even people that are causually hooking up. With women OR men. I think people are more stressed, more over whelmed and in general more unhappy. And people fall on all kinds of things to fill things that are missing inside them. Whether it's one-night-stands, shopping, sports, internet, Facebook, drinking...the list goes on. Being a woman who dates men, it's hard to find men that take pride in their relationships and take pride in their responsbility toward other people. But this is ultimately the kind of man I would like in my life. I know when men date me, they are usually asking themselves "what am *I* getting out of this. Not "what do I have to give this person". And I'm not talking about money value. It's just certain attitude that reads across that way. Naturally, there is a certain level of judging another person and what they have to offer but I don't think they always ask what *they* have to offer that goes beyond looks or money. And I've dated all kinds of men, at all different kinds of economic levels and looks. BUT, I know there are men that want relationships and value them. I don't think it's outdated at all. Some men are 18 and want to settle down and some men are 40 and want to sleep around.
soserious1 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 All I'm interested in are purely sexual relationships, the more casual the better, I'm not even interested in knowing the man's real name. Thankfully there's more and more people out here who want what I want, no strings, lustful sex. If this isn't your thing though, don't be pressured into a lifestyle that you don't think works for YOU.
Wolf18 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 (edited) I've got mixed feelings about the "hook up culture". My logic is that, if you're a woman, you don't want marriage or kids, wtf do you want a relationship for? 21st century "relationships" are pretty meaningless, and when you boil it down essentially just a prolonged hook up with 1 person, especially when you take into consideration the awful traits women either tolerate or actively seek. Add in how easily women can get out of a relationship or marriage, whenever they feel something's "off" or get slightly bored, and it's a pretty worthless investment for a man. I would enjoy having a traditional relationship with a woman, are any of them worthy? That's another question. What's the point of putting all your eggs in one basket, when the average modern woman lacks any warmth, loyalty, intelligence, or gratitude? Edited December 18, 2011 by Wolf18
Elysian Powder Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I personally believe that people are just too lazy and carefree to want to be bothered with building a relationship so they look for the quicker fix. Nope. relationships take a long time to build and the necessary investment in them is wasted. Monogamous sex is not natural .
soserious1 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I've got mixed feelings about the "hook up culture". My logic is that, if you're a woman, you don't want marriage or kids, wtf do you want a relationship for? 21st century "relationships" are pretty meaningless, and when you boil it down essentially just a prolonged hook up with 1 person, especially when you take into consideration the awful traits women either tolerate or actively seek. Add in how easily women can get out of a relationship or marriage, whenever they feel something's "off" or get slightly bored, and it's a pretty worthless investment for a man. I would enjoy having a traditional relationship with a woman, are any of them worthy? That's another question. What's the point of putting all your eggs in one basket, when the average modern woman lacks any warmth, loyalty, intelligence, or gratitude? I feel there is a fairly solid number of people both male & female who decide at one point or another that a traditional relationship would be inappropriate, not in keeping with their needs or goals. I've decided to use my "intelligence" to be "warm and loyal" to myself by engaging only in the briefest, most casual relationships, that way I won't ever again have to stand there expressing my "gratitude" that a fat assed middle aged slob of a man lowered himself enough to allow me to polish his knob while also paying all of his bills. The key thing though IMHO is to be totally honest as early as possible, if you aren't into anything long term give the other person the respect of letting them know that sooner rather than later.
Wolf18 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 I feel there is a fairly solid number of people both male & female who decide at one point or another that a traditional relationship would be inappropriate, not in keeping with their needs or goals. I've decided to use my "intelligence" to be "warm and loyal" to myself by engaging only in the briefest, most casual relationships, that way I won't ever again have to stand there expressing my "gratitude" that a fat assed middle aged slob of a man lowered himself enough to allow me to polish his knob while also paying all of his bills. The key thing though IMHO is to be totally honest as early as possible, if you aren't into anything long term give the other person the respect of letting them know that sooner rather than later.[/Quote] So what goals do you have that are so spectacular, that you're too good for a family life or to show a man nurturing female traits that have historically given women their value? Your career? I doubt any man's going to complain about having no strings attached sex with women...in the short term. But I'm thinking how much mileage women will have had by the time I would want to share my life with a woman, and whether sharing my life with a woman that used to snort cocaine off a bouncers dick at the night clubs in her 20's and suddenly wants to "settle down" with me as the bio clock ticks away, is what I would really want. The skeletons, no MASS GRAVES, the typical woman has in her closet will have collected in her closet during her 20's make it laughable that when they have the disadvantage, they suddenly want "relationships" with every day guys.
soserious1 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 (edited) So what goals do you have that are so spectacular, that you're too good for a family life or to show a man nurturing female traits that have historically given women their value? Your career? I doubt any man's going to complain about having no strings attached sex with women...in the short term. But I'm thinking how much mileage women will have had by the time I would want to share my life with a woman, and whether sharing my life with a woman that used to snort cocaine off a bouncers dick at the night clubs in her 20's and suddenly wants to "settle down" with me as the bio clock ticks away, is what I would really want. The skeletons, no MASS GRAVES, the typical woman has in her closet will have collected in her closet during her 20's make it laughable that when they have the disadvantage, they suddenly want "relationships". I've raised my children, they're adults now, I'm not interested in giving up my time or money to "nurture" and care take for a man. Oh and as for my career, it's been solid enough that I'm paying court ordered alimony to my ex-husband to the tune of $2,750 a month plus full medical and dental. I did the dutiful little wife routine, not interested in doing it again,the sacrifices involved in being married, in pursuing a "family life" totally outweighed any benefits involved for me.I'm not interested in sharing my money, not interested in hurrying home from work to clean and cook, not interested in having to ask permission to do things, in short totally not interested in being little Miss Step and Fetch ever again. The best, most useful part of a man hangs between his legs and I can rent that for the price of a condom and a round of drinks, why would I be bothered marrying for it? Edited December 18, 2011 by soserious1
Wolf18 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 LOL. You're lucky you're not a man, if a man spoke like you do he'd get the women and sissy-men chasing him off the forum with pitchforks and torches. But you, you're empowered ma'am. Are you one of those wealthy broads that go sex touring to greece and jamaica ?
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