Cmac Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I'm just over a week NC, been struggling a lot tonight. I REALLY want to text her. I just hate not hearing from her
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Yeah It does help...that would be interesting if that happened but don't believe it will, this is the 2nd.....3rd? time back to the love of her life. Ok here is some more.... And I woke up every 3 hrs. for 8 nights to give you your meds.,change your bandaids....put ice on the wound.... take you back to the Dr. to have the stitches removed...rub your back..cook for you and your daughter....took your daughter to school and work and return etc etc. etc. and this is what I get? What... he wouldn't of done this for you? Obviously not because he didn't!!! Geeze... a breakup is bad enough but when you have been used like this it hurts so much worst!!!! The ultimate in betrayel Ahhhhhh feel better again,lol Lol good get it alllll outtt! I got one coming up... How in the hell you going to tell me that the spark faded? Meanwhile the weekend before you were getting more physical with me? Give me a break with that bullsh*t excuse. The feelings are still there deep in within you that's why you can't get rid of me even when you say I treated you badly. Which that was a looonggg time ago. How about you open your eyes and see how I was treating you before you broke it off. Yea I know I still didn't hang out during school but that was becuase I had tests every single week and at one point I had 4 test in one week. I asked you nicely, I even showed you my schedual of my test and curriculum yet you gave up. I asked you to wait for the week to be over but no... I was going to take you out on a date that weekend but you got into your damn car accident. And who was the one that was at your house asap? If you only knew how scared I was when I heard about your accident. I treated you badly before break up???!!!! Sorry it took me 2 hours just to find the perfect card for your birthday, the perfect gift for your birthday...2 hours for a card!!!! And I still talked to you every night and every day. Every morning! you were always the first person on my mind! Even when I was stressed out with school....
mike588 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I'm just over a week NC, been struggling a lot tonight. I REALLY want to text her. I just hate not hearing from her I know how you feel but PLEASE DON'T DO IT!!! Read the threads/posts here about breaking N.C. Your chances of hearing from her are better if you stick wih N.C.!!! and it's better to hear from her that her hear from you!!
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I'm just over a week NC, been struggling a lot tonight. I REALLY want to text her. I just hate not hearing from her Write what you want to text her on here....it helps....
Cmac Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Yeah, I'm not going to, I have nothing else to say to her. Suppose I just miss hearing from her but obviously that's normal. Just need to fight through it. Some days I'm really not that bad, and other days it consumes my every thought..really weird.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Yeah, I'm not going to, I have nothing else to say to her. Suppose I just miss hearing from her but obviously that's normal. Just need to fight through it. Some days I'm really not that bad, and other days it consumes my every thought..really weird. Yea, I know how you feel...today has been an on and off battle for me...I'm trying to find ways to occupy my thoughts but it aint easy as I want it to be...
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 I have another thing I want to tell her but I really shouldn't: I don't need you in my life! My life was always on a straight path. I knew what I wanted in terms of a career, goal and future! YOU on the other hand don't know what the hell you want. You keep bouncing between bad jobs. You have a degree but can't find a job with that...then you go back to school for something else. And now you want to go back to finding jobs for your first degree and forget about going back to school?? What the hell, your head is so twisted and confused with your life its not even funny. Yet, I'm the one that was always giving you the courage and support to help you figure out what you want in life. And then you say I didn't do anything wrong?? But then you say I treated you bad. WHAT THE FU*K IS WRONG WITH YOUR MIND You're throwing away a guy that was supporting you and helping you. I even helped you write emails to jobs you wanted to apply for, helped you write your resume, gave you critique and opinions on your job portfolio. Yet you want to go spend time with a meathead mechanic that probably doesn't have a brain to figure the out difference between his ass and elbow. I'd like to see him help you with you getting jobs the way I did! While he's to buisy clubing away and spending time with his cars and bikes that he probably values more then you! Give me a fu*king break....and wake the fu*k up already
mike588 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 It's nice to say these things and get them off your chest....but even if you said or were able to say these things to them it wouldn't matter regardless of what you did for them....it's all about them and what they want.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 It's nice to say these things and get them off your chest....but even if you said or were able to say these things to them it wouldn't matter regardless of what you did for them....it's all about them and what they want. True...well there's going to be a time where she is going to need help with her resume and job stuff again. And he ain't going to be able to help her the way I did.
Sugarkane Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 You're throwing away a guy that was supporting you and helping you. I even helped you write emails to jobs you wanted to apply for, helped you write your resume, gave you critique and opinions on your job portfolio. Yet you want to go spend time with a meathead mechanic that probably doesn't have a brain to figure the out difference. I wish I had a bf that was that supportive!!!
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 You're throwing away a guy that was supporting you and helping you. I even helped you write emails to jobs you wanted to apply for, helped you write your resume, gave you critique and opinions on your job portfolio. Yet you want to go spend time with a meathead mechanic that probably doesn't have a brain to figure the out difference. I wish I had a bf that was that supportive!!! I did everything I could to make up for time I didn't spend with her. I even gave her opinions about her art work n how to make it better. And he'll one of my suggestions even got her a job. Always supported her! And was there for her!
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 Well...here's something else I need to get off the chest. 2 and half years together...and x amount of days broken up. I wish you would still come back to me and we can work this through. But a big part of me says your not coming back. I deleted your number, I deleted your aim (yes again) and I'm trying my hardest to move forward. You said you love me, but love doesn't dissappear no matter what the outcome is. If you truely do love me than your feelings are still deep down in there. Yes its going to be hard for you to realize with the other guy around but one day you will. And when you do, it will be to late for I will be with someone who will always love me. I'll be with someone who I deserve to be with and someone that will always be with me. I was open to share my future with you but you opted out. Its your loss becuase I WILL have a great future as a nurse. I deserve the very best and nothing less. I have no more anger towards you anymore, just disappointment. I hope you do open your eyes and see what you left behind. I know you hate hearing me say that but one day you'll understand....
fucpcg Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Sure she got many things wrong, but so did I. I read a quote one time that said Love is never having to say your sorry. If I could text her this holiday I would say: I love you baby, you are still my queen, and I miss you soo much.
Zabs Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 At the risk of this thoughtful thread being hi-jacked! "You will continue to feel pain until you make a decision...to or not to let go. I understand you are hurting...and I know I have done wrong too..but we either move on and forgive or move on and forget...I have no problem with either..but please..stop testing me." I am sure there will be a response to this sentiment soon. Much love Zabs xx
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 At the risk of this thoughtful thread being hi-jacked! "You will continue to feel pain until you make a decision...to or not to let go. I understand you are hurting...and I know I have done wrong too..but we either move on and forgive or move on and forget...I have no problem with either..but please..stop testing me." I am sure there will be a response to this sentiment soon. Much love Zabs xx My heart goes out to you! I wish you the best hope they all realize what they doing sooner or later
thepedestrian Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 "I'm likely going to see you tonight and you want me to act like everything is perfectly normal. Like we're just friends and I never told you about my feelings. I'll be the guy looking good pretending like you mean nothing to me anymore - because that is what you're telling me you want. I pity you that you don't have the courage to express your emotions. I'm not waiting around to be part of your contingency plan"
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 17, 2011 Author Posted December 17, 2011 "I was at the beach tonight...I was thinking about us and all the good times we had, and even the bad times. And I realized all my mistakes in the relationship and I fixing them. I hope that you can release your anger and come back to me. I asked the "man upstairs" for help and guidance since I don't know who else to go to. I hope he he listens and brings you back and stops you from getting hurt by someone else. It feels as if I lost 3/4 of my just by losing you. I hate this but I don't hate you...I still love you. I wrote our initials in the sand again...I hope maybe you'll see it if you go there...but I know that won't happen. I wish I could say goodnight to you...but I can't. So I'll say it here....G'night hun, hope you find your light back to me"
BoredAgain Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 It's been almost three weeks with zero contact, and it seems like what I'd say to her changes from day to day. Fortunately, I feel like I handled my last conversation with her pretty well - I was calm, composed, and able to say everything I felt. So these fantasies of what I'd say to her now haven't been weighing on me very much. Besides, I feel like my Ex transformed into a new person. So anything I would say seems extra-pointless, not worth the effort.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 18, 2011 Author Posted December 18, 2011 It's been almost three weeks with zero contact, and it seems like what I'd say to her changes from day to day. Fortunately, I feel like I handled my last conversation with her pretty well - I was calm, composed, and able to say everything I felt. So these fantasies of what I'd say to her now haven't been weighing on me very much. Besides, I feel like my Ex transformed into a new person. So anything I would say seems extra-pointless, not worth the effort. Yea I understand. I ran out of things to say, I ran out of anger, sadness, regret, and remorse. It was good while it lasted but there's just no point in saying anything to her anymore. Its not going to change anything and won't make anything better. I'm not even mad about the break up anymore...its her loss not mine...but ofcourse, I'm still willing to reconcile
LZ2000 Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 To my ex: The only flaw that I have noticed in you for so long, is your lack of courage to say no or to refuse. And to be easily and emotionally swayed by the misfortunes/unfortunate situations of others. You don't even have the basic common instinct to even move away from the situations which are deemed toxic, demanding, stressful and detrimental to you. Perhaps you didn't realize that being in such difficult situations (by free choice) in life would affect the well being of the people around you. Especially the ones that truly love you or care. In the end, I guess that, everything deteriorated to a point where you had to escape from everything you knew and loved, because your lack of wisdom, emotional independence. You chose to start all over again leaving behind me, and trust me, that is truly the easy way out. You basically threw the baby out with the bath water. And that is perhaps, the most dangerous flaw of all. Peace.
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