cjyoung1993 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 My ex, who I was in love with for 4 years until we broke up about a year ago, had come by and we started talking again. This is "our" first year in university and she has a new boyfriend now. Even though she has this boyfriend she continues to come over to my res, say she loves me and misses me (i was the one wanting to get back t ogether) and flirts and then eventually comes onto me, even though i have told her i am moving on. I found that I actually look forward to these encounters now and am less emotionally attached to her. I'm just looking for another opinion on this matter, if I should continue with this girl as I am no longer feeling the need to be together but also think its kind of not right as she has a boyfriend. She also seems to have no remorse and one time when I told her she can't love this guy if she's doing this with me shet just didn't say anything. Thanks everyone and sorry for the bad english right now, its exam time and i havent slept for 3 days haha.
BoredAgain Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Well, if you can deal with these encounters without any emotional distress, then that's good news for you. On the other hand, it sounds like these encounters might be toxic for her... and, damn, I'd feel bad for the poor idiot that she's dating now. The question is, do you care that this might be causing (or will soon cause) a lot of pain for her and her new boyfriend? If so, then it'd probably best to stop.
geegirl Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Do you now feel less emotionally attached because your actual feelings are being masked by the fact that she's back in your life? A false sense of security. Only you know. How would you feel if she told you tomorrow she has to stop having sex with you? No more encounters. Hurt or indifferent? If your conscience allows you to have sex with someone knowing you're enabling betrayal, whether you're directly or indirectly involved, than do what you need to do. But if it doesn't sit well with you and you question it, then I'd say the sex just isn't worth it. But I have a feeling it is because you are still emotionally entangled in some way, because eventhough you do not feel right about it, you continue to engage.
davesterr Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) You're single dude. If you can deal with it without being emotionally attached and you want it , then go for it. Why not have sex? Her having a boyfriend is her problem. I will never blame a guy for sleeping with my girlfriend. I will blame my girlfriend for being stupid enough to cheat on me. Will it upset me? Ohyeah. But then again i can't blame some regular dude wanting to hit on my girlfriend. She should be smart enough and have enough self control not to cheat in the first place. This is all a matter of personal opinion and morals though. So only you know what you feel. But if it was me and i wanted to have sex , i would definitely do it. Aslong as i'm single , im not cheating on anyone. And therefor i'm not doing anything wrong. It's not like your ex is married and has a family. So it's not like you will break up a marriage and do serious damage. In most cases these are just regular relationships like any other. They come and they go so don't stress toomuch on being the bad guy cause big chance is , they won't last anyway. Live your life to your fullest potential and just do what you want man. But like others said: If you are still emotionally attached , or will become attached after the sex then don't do it. It took you long enough to get over her , don't fall back to where you once were. Edited December 14, 2011 by davesterr
carhill Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Reading this background and being mindful of your age, I would advise you to make it job #1 to, after your primary attention to education is discharged, date other women. You were with this girl essentially since you were a kid, so it's time to experience the big wide world of women. She has taught you that lesson by leaving you for another young man, even though she still likes that you want her. This is an important life lesson about women and the really good news is that you're learning it at 18. Man I envy you. Tip: Spend your time talking to a girl who likes getting under you. Save the talk for the pillow. That's your gift to a woman. Hers to you is sex and a kind word now and again.
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