CLindsay Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Okay, annoying is an understatement. I love my boyfriend so much and we've been together for a long time and are planning to spend the rest of our lives together. The only problem is his best friend.. I'm usually patient as a person and I've been patient with him for over a year now but now I can't stand him any longer. He seems to think he is part of our relationship and tags along ALL the time. He is so socially inept that he doesn't even understand he is always intruding on our quality time together and turning our dates into 'hang outs'. When I've stayed at my boyfriends house on many occasions, he's decided to sleepover as well! I hate it. I often end up like I'm the one who third wheels with THEM. This guy isn't good company, either. He makes really inappropriate and tasteless jokes, he's always on his phone playing around, he seems to misinterpret everything anyone says into a personal insult and make a song and dance about it AND on top of that, he is hypersensitive. He gets personally offended when we go out on dates and don't invite him. I feel like I'm babysitting him. He's an idiot. He's made a couple of sexual 'jokes' to me in the past as well which make me just really uncomfortable. Whenever he hangs out with my boyfriend, all he wants to do is smoke pot.. It's so, so lame. I hate it. He acts so incredibly clingy towards my boyfriend and I, I find it odd and very hard to put up with anymore. I've told my boyfriend that I hate it when he always tags along and he thankfully agreed that he doesn't like it when he intrudes - but now he's taken to simply inviting himself out to places. I want him to know I feel this way and that he needs to back off but at the same time I don't want to hurt his feelings or create any negative energy between him and my boyfriend - but this guy is so socially inept and hypersensitive that it's hard. I shouldn't have to feel guilty that I'm leaving someone out when I'm having a date with my boyfriend! It's ridiculous! My boyfriend is such an intelligent, creative, charismatic guy. I have no idea why he hangs out with this needy, pathetic loser. What do I do?! Help me!
creighton0123 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 "My boyfriend is such an intelligent, creative, charismatic guy. I have no idea why he hangs out with this needy, pathetic loser." Because that needy, pathetic loser is his friend. If you do anything, make sure to do it privately as to avoid further embarrassment. Have you or your boyfriend talk to him privately and tell him that he sometimes makes you feel taken advantage of - that you enjoy private time with your SO and would like it if this friend were a little more considerate of your privacy and your time together. If his friend knows that he is just being approached as an adult and not being socially embarrassed or ganged up on by you and your boyfriend, he may be more responsive. I do wonder whether there is a possibility that he is in love with you or in love with your boyfriend. That's worth some thought.
Author CLindsay Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Hmm yeah, I think we may have to explain to him the situation... It's just so hard because I hate hurting peoples feelings and in this situation it's unavoidable - though I shouldn't have to feel bad for being alone with my boyfriend.
insertnamehere Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I hate hurting peoples feelings In my experience, people who toss around phrase like "needy" and "pathetic" don't give a rat's ass about other people's feelings. Guys have their bonds. If you cross the best friend and upset him, you will lose the boyfriend. Our best friends are for life. Women will come and go.
Author CLindsay Posted December 17, 2011 Author Posted December 17, 2011 My boyfriend himself agrees that he's incredibly needy and inappropriate a lot of the time. I don't think you get the situation - he thinks and acts as if he's a part of our relationship, which is wrong. The way he acts is a way that my boyfriend and I don't like. My boyfriend feels the same way I do about the matter. I'm not going to lose my boyfriend by upsetting his best friend, that'd never happen. Besides, if this guy was 'upset' if my boyfriend told him that he needs to back off (which he is doing) then that just reinforces how needy he is.
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