USCGAviator Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Ok, here's the lowdown. I met this woman online a couple weeks ago. We hit it off instantly and shortly after our first date she took her profile down. Good sign I suppose. Now the following weekend she stayed over at my place twice. We both agreed to take things slow and not sleep together so we don't spoil a possible long term relationship with sex too soon. Well this weekend I'm headed across country with my kids to visit my family. This will make it almost 3 weeks till i see her again. Already I'm noticing her texting is less frequent and basic talk like "hows your day". I'm keeping my cool the best I can as to not give my feelings away, but I tactfully let her know I'm still interested. I'm thinking that the next 3 weeks of just texting on occasion is gonna completely kill her attraction. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens when I get back. Thoughts anyone??!!!!
xpaperxcutx Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 What about talking on the phone or Skype? As much as I am a fan of absence making the heart fonder too much absence can also make them walk away.
Author USCGAviator Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Our work schedule makes it hard for us to talk on the phone during the week. Shes also in the middle of a life change. Shes moving and more focused on that at the moment. So she is quite busy but shes definitely much harder to read than the other women iv'e met. My head wonders about this because I finally met a woman here that I like. Especially after meeting dozens that liked me and I wasn't interested. I am well aware that if I start pining over her in text that I'll be committing a fatal mistake!! Since shes keeping her emotional guard up my plan is to stay cool and text casually. I really have no choice I think. When I get back I'll go from there and see where I can pick up for lost time. Sounds like a good plan right?
Pasttense Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 How about writing letters? I am sure that she, like most people here, get very few letters--so it may have an impact. You might also mail her a Christmas present.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Our work schedule makes it hard for us to talk on the phone during the week. Shes also in the middle of a life change. Shes moving and more focused on that at the moment. So she is quite busy but shes definitely much harder to read than the other women iv'e met. My head wonders about this because I finally met a woman here that I like. Especially after meeting dozens that liked me and I wasn't interested. I am well aware that if I start pining over her in text that I'll be committing a fatal mistake!! Since shes keeping her emotional guard up my plan is to stay cool and text casually. I really have no choice I think. When I get back I'll go from there and see where I can pick up for lost time. Sounds like a good plan right? No no absolutely no pining. That really is the worst thing you can do. If she's moving, she will probably be too drained with the move to initiate contact. But you can text her to keep you updated. Play the concerned friend willing to lend a hand if and when you get vack home.
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Well it's a good thing you posted more information on your second comment or I'd have thought you a fool for not hitting it, and then going away for 3 weeks! Anyway she seems to be in the middle of things...the best thing for you to do is remain SSS (strong, supportive, and sensitive to her needs) I made that up! cool right? Anyway...you come on too strong and she'll run away, you pull away too much she'll think you've given up or don't really want to be with her. You're going to need to remain firm and supportive though, because that's what she is looking for and needs, she doesn't need the normal pressure of a relationship or love interest or she would have probably slept with you instead. If you really like this woman then just stick through for her, and be there for her without compromising too much of yourself in the process or she'll just friendzone you as someone who is supportive and not a love interest...which I don't think will happen from the sound of things so far. I would remain attentive and confident in this process however, instead of wavering and having doubts, continue to be supporting, be sweet and nice to her, send her a card or letter telling her that you're thinking about her and understand the time she needs, basically reassurance. If she has her guard up, it's going to take effort to bring it down and maybe she's got a few skeletons in the closet and some issues, so be wary of that and what you're dealing with before you just fall in it with this girl and then have to worry about the issues.
Author USCGAviator Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Well it's a good thing you posted more information on your second comment or I'd have thought you a fool for not hitting it, and then going away for 3 weeks! Anyway she seems to be in the middle of things...the best thing for you to do is remain SSS (strong, supportive, and sensitive to her needs) I made that up! cool right? Anyway...you come on too strong and she'll run away, you pull away too much she'll think you've given up or don't really want to be with her. You're going to need to remain firm and supportive though, because that's what she is looking for and needs, she doesn't need the normal pressure of a relationship or love interest or she would have probably slept with you instead. If you really like this woman then just stick through for her, and be there for her without compromising too much of yourself in the process or she'll just friendzone you as someone who is supportive and not a love interest...which I don't think will happen from the sound of things so far. I would remain attentive and confident in this process however, instead of wavering and having doubts, continue to be supporting, be sweet and nice to her, send her a card or letter telling her that you're thinking about her and understand the time she needs, basically reassurance. If she has her guard up, it's going to take effort to bring it down and maybe she's got a few skeletons in the closet and some issues, so be wary of that and what you're dealing with before you just fall in it with this girl and then have to worry about the issues. Yeah I like the S cubed thing. NIce one haha. It's been awhile since I've actually been interested in a woman for more than sex. Trying to fight the urge to spill my guts and let her know how i feel is tough. Although she does know I'm interested and we shared alot of personal info and get to know stuff before our first date. If i'm constantly turning down booty call requests from my old flings then I must really like her haha. I like the card idea for Christmas....however I'm thinking especially at this point that it may seem clingy or needy to her. I did notice that when I made some recent comments personally complimenting her she would simply reply with "thanks!" . I chilled on that because putting myself in her shoes, if I said "thanks" instead of returning a compliment then I probably wouldn't be that interested. Shes a tuff cookie!! If worst comes to worst and I lose out, I'll just pretend she had herpes and dodged a bullet!
Emilia Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Ok, here's the lowdown. I met this woman online a couple weeks ago. We hit it off instantly and shortly after our first date she took her profile down. Good sign I suppose. Now the following weekend she stayed over at my place twice. We both agreed to take things slow and not sleep together so we don't spoil a possible long term relationship with sex too soon. Well this weekend I'm headed across country with my kids to visit my family. This will make it almost 3 weeks till i see her again. Already I'm noticing her texting is less frequent and basic talk like "hows your day". I'm keeping my cool the best I can as to not give my feelings away, but I tactfully let her know I'm still interested. I'm thinking that the next 3 weeks of just texting on occasion is gonna completely kill her attraction. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens when I get back. Thoughts anyone??!!!! You should have slept and bonded with her. Sex is very powerful when it comes to expressing love and desire, I don't understand why people see it as a bad thing
Andy_K Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I agree with Emilia. And when you say 'We both agreed to take it slow', do you REALLY mean that or was it more 'she suggested we take it slow and I was too much of a pussy too respectful to try and persuade her otherwise'?
thatone Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 agree with the two above, everything about taking it slow and respecting her wishes sounds great on oprah, but it's all BS.
Author USCGAviator Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I agree with Emilia. And when you say 'We both agreed to take it slow', do you REALLY mean that or was it more 'she suggested we take it slow and I was too much of a pussy too respectful to try and persuade her otherwise'? Actually it was more MY idea but she definitely agreed before we went to my house for the night. I especially wanted too since I found that every other woman I bedded so quickly I immediately lost interest in. If she ends up running in the end because I took too long to deliver the goods, I'll go back to breakin hearts after the 1st or 2nd date.
DearAbby Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Call her instead of solely texting. It's nice to hear someones voice.
orion1010 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 She's just busy moving and very tired. Moving sucks! She could also be a little bummed out b/c it's the holidays and she wont be able to see you at all.
Emilia Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I especially wanted too since I found that every other woman I bedded so quickly I immediately lost interest in. If she ends up running in the end because I took too long to deliver the goods, I'll go back to breakin hearts after the 1st or 2nd date. I don't think having sex early is the problem. In my experience dragging it out longer doesn't make any difference.
Author USCGAviator Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 She's just busy moving and very tired. Moving sucks! She could also be a little bummed out b/c it's the holidays and she wont be able to see you at all. That's my comfort thought right there. And she does text me often about being wiped out from work and closing on a house.
Author USCGAviator Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I don't think having sex early is the problem. In my experience dragging it out longer doesn't make any difference. If I'm over thinking this whole thing and we have another sleep over when I get back, the clothes are definitely coming off!!
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