ahhhchooo Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 So I've known this girl about 2 months and we have been on numerous dates. We kissed a few times and I have slept with her. But the thing is I am just really not that into her and I have been dating other girls. We have never been exclusive though she has asked me if we are before and I just brushed it off. She initially told me that she didn't see it going anywhere and then there was a period where we didn't talk before she told me that she was just confused and she really wants to continue seeing me. She keeps emailing and texting me and I am getting to the stage now where I don't feel like replying. I have seen her maybe 10 times. What would be the ettiquette in "breaking up" with her (we are not a couple). I don't want to be friends with her either as I don't do friends with previous romantic interests. It's not fair on the dumped and I'm just really not interested.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 You need to tell her. double digit dates, sleeping together, & multiple months, are all reasons that I think deserves an explanation.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Well if you had read enough of the threads on here, don't resort to the disappearing act. Instead just suck it up and tell you don't have chmistry and she deserves someone better. You can be a dick but at least be an honest dick.
Author ahhhchooo Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 You need to tell her. double digit dates, sleeping together, & multiple months, are all reasons that I think deserves an explanation. I have known her for multiple months but there was probably a month in there we didn't see each other. I worked out we went on 7 dates. I slept with her once.
Author ahhhchooo Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) Well if you had read enough of the threads on here, don't resort to the disappearing act. Instead just suck it up and tell you don't have chmistry and she deserves someone better. You can be a dick but at least be an honest dick. Thanks, this sounds reasonable. Do I have to do it person to person or can I just send her a text? The majority of our communication has been through text/email so far. I love your signature quote by the way. Edited December 14, 2011 by ahhhchooo
O'Malley Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Just call her and make it clear you're moving on. No arguments or lengthy dissertations on why you're not interested. Don't offer to be friends or stay in touch. Texting or email would come across as lame here -- you know that you've brushed aside her feelings in the past, so at least be integral at this point.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) Thanks, this sounds reasonable. Do I have to do it person to person or can I just send her a text? The majority of our communication has been through text/email so far. I love your signature quote by the way. If you see her a lot, then you break up with her in person. In your situation, a phone call o a text will do. I can never do email because it's just too formal and requires a certain amount of affection to sign off from. There was a guy who broke up with me through text. He was hurtful for telling me he found a gf but he was hones and hadn't wanted to string me along. In fact he wanted to be friends. I told him no. I did cry a little the next day but the world moves on and so did I. Edited December 14, 2011 by xpaperxcutx
jobaba Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 So I've known this girl about 2 months and we have been on numerous dates. We kissed a few times and I have slept with her. But the thing is I am just really not that into her and I have been dating other girls. We have never been exclusive though she has asked me if we are before and I just brushed it off. She initially told me that she didn't see it going anywhere and then there was a period where we didn't talk before she told me that she was just confused and she really wants to continue seeing me. She keeps emailing and texting me and I am getting to the stage now where I don't feel like replying. I have seen her maybe 10 times. What would be the ettiquette in "breaking up" with her (we are not a couple). I don't want to be friends with her either as I don't do friends with previous romantic interests. It's not fair on the dumped and I'm just really not interested. Only you can answer that question IMO. You haven't provided us enough information to know how into you she really is. Does she send you mushy texts saying she thinks about you and you're special, or does she send you texts telling you what she ate that day? The amount of effort you are going to have to put into letting her down is the amount you have her hooked. Just my opinion though...
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Make sure you have sex with her one last time before breaking it off. You don't know how long your next dry spell will be.
Author ahhhchooo Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I see her about once a week. Well, she doesn't send me mushy stuff. About the mushiest stuff I get are texts saying she's looking forward to seeing me or with an "x" in it. She mentioned the last time we went out that I don't seem that into her, I didn't know what to say to it. I am going to call her after work and just say "I don't really have enough interest in this to continue seeing you, all the best with dating" or something like that. Make sure you have sex with her one last time before breaking it off. You don't know how long your next dry spell will be. Funny post, but no thanks
jobaba Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I see her about once a week. Well, she doesn't send me mushy stuff. About the mushiest stuff I get are texts saying she's looking forward to seeing me or with an "x" in it. She mentioned the last time we went out that I don't seem that into her, I didn't know what to say to it. I am going to call her after work and just say "I don't really have enough interest in this to continue seeing you, all the best with dating" or something like that. If that's the case, then over the phone is fine. What you quoted sounds mean though. How 'bout something like... "Look, I know we've been seeing a bit of each other lately. But I think it would be in both of our best interests to continue down separate roads and start seeing other people. I think you're a great girl, I just don't think I'm the guy for you. I don't see the long term potential in what we're doing. And I'm a long term type of guy. I don't want to lead you on and hurt you. I usually don't remain friends with women I've been romantically involved with, but if you really think it's something you'd like to pursue [friendship], contact me."
Author ahhhchooo Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Thanks, I will go with that. I will leave out the bit about being friends though, I would rather not. I have some prospects with girls I am really interested in so it's even more reason not to.
Author ahhhchooo Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Thanks everyone, I called her and let her know. She said thank you for being honest and there were no hard feelings.
lululucy Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Thanks everyone, I called her and let her know. She said thank you for being honest and there were no hard feelings. Awesome. Seriously dude, props. I really respect you for being a man and doing right by her. Good dating karma Hope those other prospects work out for you!
xpaperxcutx Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Thanks everyone, I called her and let her know. She said thank you for being honest and there were no hard feelings. Glad it worked out for you. Sometimes honesty goes a long way.
sugarmomma Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 You might wanna take a look at why you're drawn to "crazy" women and turned off by "normal" women. ijs
SomewhatExperienced Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Simply be a man and be honest. Tell her the truth in that although you like her you don't see it working out long term, and that you're happy you met her and shared what you did with her. That's enough of an explanation and if she's level-headed she should accept it (although not necessarily like it) and appreciate you're honesty and then move on. And DO NOT do this by text or email! Show the girl some courtesy would ya? Breaking up by text or email is probably the most discourteous and cowardly thing anyone can do in a relationship, no matter how serious or not. If a girl broke up with me like that my respect for her would drop 10 notches right there and then.
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