EyeAlone Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 It's been a week of NC, which is the longest I've ever gone without hearing from him. I wasted my two vacation days for this month moping, crying, not brushing my teeth, and drowning my sorrows in cookies when I had originally planned to be spending this time with him. It's also raining outside. What an awesome day It looks like a lot of people here, too, are having a rotten day. So let's put away our Kleenex for a while and talk about something new you've tried or reintroduced yourself to after the breakup. Something you might not have been able to do if you were still with the ex. Did you start a new hobby? Did you go back to reading or looking for new favorite books? Did you go hiking? Did you spend more time working so you got a promotion? Stuff like that. Maybe it can help us brainstorm for things to do to occupy ourselves. Since my evenings are free now, I've gone back to training for a 10k. It kind of pains me to do so because he also liked to run, but he was a lot faster than me and made a point to tell me that. So now I'll show him What about everyone else?
JFReyes Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Quit smoking. Didn't do it for her (it was never an issue) but just to feel better about myself.
solobeary Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 It was a lunar ecclipse here last Saturday. A friend asked me if I wanted to come with her to her parent's house in the country to watch it. I went and it was lovely. She never would have asked me if I was still with the ex, she would have assumed I'd rather spend Saturday with him. So new opportunities will come up for us I've started reading fiction again, got really obsessed with one book which felt good.
SelfCentered Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Ooh good idea! I got a personal trainer who has helped me revitalise my workout regime and bulk up. When I told him why I was doing it (breakup) he replied "Good, focus on yourself and forget about her. She isn't worth it". It was really forward but nice to hear.I got to enjoy my trip to Iceland. She had been complaining because she had always wanted to go. I pointed out her dad had paid for her to go to Florida for three weeks in the summer, and that this was my first week off since Xmas last year, I work hard and deserved the break.I've been reading into cognitive therapy to address my long-term anxiety problems. I'm also seeing the family doctor to talk about other issues I've been putting off.I'm looking into doing stand-up comedy! I've wanted to do it ever since University, was supposed to start this year but put it off as soon as she came along. Met up with a guy a week ago who does it locally to have a talk and to get ideas. Would love it if I could do this!Spending more time with my close friend who is also her older brother. Like a bastard I neglected him this year but he has been really supportive and we've become close again. Saturday night we had a great talk about this past year and I'm really confident in our friendship again. So yeah, improvements have been made in these 3.5 weeks!
Million.to.1 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I have also quit smoking. Well done JFReyes! I quit earlier this year, but started again because it was too hard not partaking when the Ex had a couple when he was on the booze. I however, cannot be just a social smoker, so i was back to full time smoking quite quickly. He came back from holiday smoking full time again.. so in a way, it's a good thing for me to be away from him now and quit again. I've hated being a smoker for years, and when I quit before i was so happy that i had done it.. and felt so stupid when I started again. I've been 5 days and feeling really good about it.
Philosoraptor Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 I jumped out of a plane and will be spending New Years in Times Square
sunflower11 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 This is a big one. I am moving half way across the world, literally, to China for a job opportunity! The one thing that was holding me back sort of was wondering what if he came back? Until I stopped to think it didn't matter cause I wouldn't take him back and when I made the decision I felt a lot of relief. So yes! wow scary and exciting!!!! I do have a sister that lives there soooo I wouldn't be completely on my own but yes, this is new and exciting and it's a new chapter and opportunity and I made the best decision for ME right now and although I did consider him before making the decision, just the fact that I am moving so far away now is not me running away and not facing the problems, it's me doing something about my life and taking an opportunity that might not come around again!
Gdunkman Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 sunflower, I'm happy for you! You make real changes to your life, which will make much more effect than just some relations! As for me we are organizing a sleigh competition with my friend, which will take place in our hometown, we both don't live there for more then ten years, but love the town so much. We announced the competition yesterday and as for now we have about 80 subscribers on the fb page. We know that about 20 will show up, as they are our friends. Instead of overanalyzing the past I think about sandwiches supply and dj choice for the event, way to go!
fucpcg Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I picked up an extra softball league (now 2), two extra volleyball leagues (now 3), and a bowling league, with all the time gained by losing my ex and her 3 boys. Ive made a $hit ton of new friends, and a bunch of new dating prospects... now if only I'd stop dwelling on the ex and actually ASK out one of these girls! But I do know I'm still not ready yet, however at least when I am, opportunity is waiting.
Popehappycat Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Would like to add that some of you have made me extremely jealous! It's nice to see so many of you prospering and moving forward. It just reinforces that their is life after the ex and congratulations are due! Well done, all!
motive2002 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 In my best Rod Roddy voice.... "I got a BRAND NEW CAR!!!"
CopingGal Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 This is a wonderful thread. I started exercising again, I started doing more volunteering again, including teaching a class to developmentally adults, and I applied to grad school and was accepted.
moosekaka Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 signed up for one month of unlimited yoga (doing it 3-5 x week so far)...training to run 1500m races again and reading and seeing a therapist who is into cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Also had my dental exam after (2 years!),bought new clothes, shaved my head with a razor 1 month NC ps:/ I am looking to volunteer , maybe at the local library out here in orange county socal, but not all libraries accept volunteers? especially at this time of the year end holidays...maybe a soup kitchen?
Sugarkane Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Snowboarding! I've tried that, so much fun!
LZ2000 Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 I decided to come back to this forum and offer whatever wisdom I possess to anyone who needs it the most.
punkinless Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 i've taken up a bunch of new things sense the BU... . listening to new hard rock instead of mushy country speeding pounding the shyt outta my truck <-- hobby? actually hanging out with my bestfriends drinking having a short fuse professional insomnia blowing money not giving a f*ck all new exciting hobbies.....
fucpcg Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 signed up for one month of unlimited yoga (doing it 3-5 x week so far)...training to run 1500m races again and reading and seeing a therapist who is into cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Also had my dental exam after (2 years!),bought new clothes, shaved my head with a razor 1 month NC ps:/ I am looking to volunteer , maybe at the local library out here in orange county socal, but not all libraries accept volunteers? especially at this time of the year end holidays...maybe a soup kitchen? Big brother big sister, boys & girls club, gliding stars, court appointed special advocate, homeless shelters, shelters for abused women and children, special olympics, childrens hospitals, animal shelters, homes for troops.... its endless the places that need volunteers, and nothing you can do will make you feel better. Think of what you like to do, then search out from there. I love animals, I volunteer for all 3 local shelters. I love children and sports, I have signed up to be special olympics coach and gliding stars. A little bit of google will go a long way with this one for you.
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