superchiefs Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 Hello all! It has been a while since I last posted, but I just wanted to give everyone an update. My fiance dumped me last Easter morning after 5.5 years of being together. She had an affair with a married coworker of hers, but then went on to tell people that the reason she dumped me was because she didnt agree with my values. In June, I met someone new, things have been going really well, even though I wasnt fully recovered from my breakup when we met. The girl I am with now has been very understanding and we have been having a blast together. There have been times where I have wanted to ask her to marry me, but I have held those thoughts back because I dont want to rush things. I must say, I have been having a lot more fun with her than I ever did with my X. The only problem that I am having is that I have been doing so many fun things with my new girlfriend, that I have drained my savings account. When I met her, I had around $10k in savings, now I have about a thousand dollars. I have told her that I will not be able to continue doing so many fun activities with her and she has said she is ok with that, but I have some concerns that she will dump me and find someone else. I suppose this could also be some self esteem issues that I have from getting dumped. Does anyone have any advice?
geegirl Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 In 6 months you blew $9K on fun activities????
mike588 Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 Hello all! It has been a while since I last posted, but I just wanted to give everyone an update. My fiance dumped me last Easter morning after 5.5 years of being together. She had an affair with a married coworker of hers, but then went on to tell people that the reason she dumped me was because she didnt agree with my values. In June, I met someone new, things have been going really well, even though I wasnt fully recovered from my breakup when we met. The girl I am with now has been very understanding and we have been having a blast together. There have been times where I have wanted to ask her to marry me, but I have held those thoughts back because I dont want to rush things. I must say, I have been having a lot more fun with her than I ever did with my X. The only problem that I am having is that I have been doing so many fun things with my new girlfriend, that I have drained my savings account. When I met her, I had around $10k in savings, now I have about a thousand dollars. I have told her that I will not be able to continue doing so many fun activities with her and she has said she is ok with that, but I have some concerns that she will dump me and find someone else. I suppose this could also be some self esteem issues that I have from getting dumped. Does anyone have any advice? If she agreed with slowing down alittle on all the fun all you can really do is just watch her actions and words,, if she dumps you because you can't spend as much then she was just using you and that will show her true colors,,, she wasn't a true mate. You sound like me,, I had alot of $$ saved up and my ex. ex. became a homebody and never wanted to go out or do stuff so we just hung out around the house. When I met my recent ex. she was all about going out,,, different resturants,bars,movies ect and because I became a home body with my ex. ex. I wanted some fun too,, get out and have a great time. Well $4,000 dollars later when I mentioned to her we needed to slow down alittle(she said no problem) and rent movies to watch at home,, not go to dinner 4 nights a week and other things I noticed she became alittle bored then shortly after that she dumps me.
lolita jade Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 If you spent this money on your ex, she would have been just as much fun. Are you sure your new gf is not a gold digger or only interested in the good lifestyle? You have been on here long enough to know you are in the honeymoon phase where you are all loved up and your brain doesnt work properly. It also sounds like retail therapy as well as a rebound to sooth being dumped. I think you need to have a serious think about your actions.
Author superchiefs Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 In 6 months you blew $9K on fun activities???? Yep, I went to the Ozarks, Las Vegas, I am going to Aspen later this week and then I am going to Las Vegas again in January.
Author superchiefs Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 If she agreed with slowing down alittle on all the fun all you can really do is just watch her actions and words,, if she dumps you because you can't spend as much then she was just using you and that will show her true colors,,, she wasn't a true mate. You sound like me,, I had alot of $$ saved up and my ex. ex. became a homebody and never wanted to go out or do stuff so we just hung out around the house. When I met my recent ex. she was all about going out,,, different resturants,bars,movies ect and because I became a home body with my ex. ex. I wanted some fun too,, get out and have a great time. Well $4,000 dollars later when I mentioned to her we needed to slow down alittle(she said no problem) and rent movies to watch at home,, not go to dinner 4 nights a week and other things I noticed she became alittle bored then shortly after that she dumps me. Yeah, it certainly sounds like we have done similar things. Me and my ex were homebodies also, so I was able to save up the $10k. It was suppose to go towards buying a house for us to live in. But after the breakup, using it to have fun sounded like a much better deal. I just hope that my current gf doesnt dump me now that I have told her that I wont be able to take any more vacations after January for quite a while.
Author superchiefs Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 If you spent this money on your ex, she would have been just as much fun. Are you sure your new gf is not a gold digger or only interested in the good lifestyle? You have been on here long enough to know you are in the honeymoon phase where you are all loved up and your brain doesnt work properly. It also sounds like retail therapy as well as a rebound to sooth being dumped. I think you need to have a serious think about your actions. Well, I didnt spend this money on my current gf. I spent a good sized portion of it on myself with things such as plane tickets and hotel rooms. My gf paid for her own plane tickets and she has paid for some of the meals that we have enjoyed together. Yeah, I know I am certainly in the honeymoon phase. Every once in a while, I think the honeymoon phase is coming to an end, but then suddenly something happens to reignite the passion. For example, the other night she surprised me with a road hummer when we were coming back from hanging out with some of her friends.
M2155 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 (I dont think just because honeymoon stage ends doesnt mean there is never any passion.) Think about if you were ballin' lately just to make yourself feel better after taking a self-esteem blow. That you were doing it with the subconscious intention of gaining her approval and boost to your ego. Just think about it, that's all. You know there are tons of fun things you can do for less money and most women appreciate the thought and time. For all you know she has been fine with you just being you. So again just think, maybe this has been about your insecurity. If you are really worried she's just in it because you can afford to do fun things, then tell her. Honestly. Tell her you wanted to impress her and really just got caught up. She'll think you're an idiot or she'll most likely understand.
mike588 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Well, I didnt spend this money on my current gf. I spent a good sized portion of it on myself with things such as plane tickets and hotel rooms. My gf paid for her own plane tickets and she has paid for some of the meals that we have enjoyed together. Yeah, I know I am certainly in the honeymoon phase. Every once in a while, I think the honeymoon phase is coming to an end, but then suddenly something happens to reignite the passion. For example, the other night she surprised me with a road hummer when we were coming back from hanging out with some of her friends. Yeah I remember gettin those too,lol. Seriously I enjoyed it,spending the $$ and having and showing her a good time,again I became a homebody with my ex. ex. and I don't regret it. Even though it's over it made me happy and I have SO MANY good memories/times that no one can take away.I just hope she remembers and thinks of those GREAT times too.
geegirl Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 When you feel the need to impress by living way beyond your means, you're compensating for something that is lacking within you. It's nice to splurge once in awhile but if you're going overboard with it because you feel the need to secure her love and interest in you, then you're facing insecurities that only you can figure out. If I love someone, I'd be happy doing the little things because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you do it together. Be honest with her and if she leaves then you will know that it was superficial. Most likely she will accept you just the way you are.
Chi townD Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Do girls like taking trips with their guy? Sure! But, I've found that a girl that worth her weight in salt would enjoy having a night in snuggling under a blanket on the couch watching a movie and sharing a tub of popcorn. It really doesn't matter to them, just as long as they get to spend time with their man. And I venture to say that they'll remember those times more fondly that the lights and glitz of Las Vegas. Now, I'm a BIG advocate of traveling, but you need to do it smartly. Target a location you want to take her to, then budget for it. If it takes you six months to save up the money for it, well then it is what it is. But, sometimes it gives both of you something to look forward to.
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