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She must be REALLY screwed up

stunned8165

By stunned8165
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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stunned8165 Established Member

stunned8165

Posted
Posted

Still no check in the mail as of today. Go figure.. This is how I know she is still ina whirlwind. And before anyone says anything, I don't care about the money at all. Here is the story.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t309568/

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Okay....so....what exactly are you looking for here? Money didn't come but you knew that was going to be the case. So......what do you want to hear? That she put you back a few squares...yep! She did!

 

Pay for the movie and forget about it. She contacted you because she wanted you to know that she wasn't using your card on a day to day basis...that this was a mistake that happened.

 

Nothing more.

Ajax Established Member

Ajax

Posted
Posted
Okay....so....what exactly are you looking for here? Money didn't come but you knew that was going to be the case. So......what do you want to hear? That she put you back a few squares...yep! She did!

 

Pay for the movie and forget about it. She contacted you because she wanted you to know that she wasn't using your card on a day to day basis...that this was a mistake that happened.

 

Nothing more.

 

I agree with Chi townD. Nothing about this seems to indicate that she's "REALLY screwed up." If you really want to put an end to her using your card cancel it and get a new one.

geegirl Established Member

geegirl

Posted
Posted

You're spending way too much energy focusing on her motives Stunned, when nearly 8 months have gone by (correct me if I am wrong), where you should have been investing in ways to detach from her. Granted it's a a more difficult process because of your attachment to the kids, but now you're getting caught up with her motives because you are choosing to keep doors open.

 

Cancel the card. Unless you are using it as a means to keep some sort of door open, deactivate it and you'll have no worry about the money and you will be able to distance yourself and keep your mind at ease. The card is your lifeline. If she contacts, then she slaps a bandaid on you because that gives you some satisfaction that she's there, no matter the motive.

 

Stop doing this to yourself. You are keeping yourself stuck.

wilsonx Established Member

wilsonx

Posted
Posted

Stunned, you need to stop...

 

you are giving her too much control and she's not going to respect you for it.

 

You want answers to all your questions read this book... http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1323801862&sr=8-1

 

It wouldnt surprise me that she is this type of woman. She originally found what she wanted in you but you failed her tests and she moved on to someone else.

 

Buy this book and read it, stop watching the mailbox and reread this book and understand it. It explains a lot. I read this book a few months ago and it helped me a lot understand and grow as a person and why our ex's do what they do. It makes perfect sense. Pay attention to the part about temperatures

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stunned8165 Established Member

stunned8165

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Wilson. Sorry about your ex being a no show. But obviously you still have feelings if you tried. And all you can do is give yourself an e for effort.

 

The book you suggested i'm familiar with. From what I remember from that book, In short, I never gave up what was important to me. And as far as the sexual parts go, well, I won't get into further detail. Bottom line with her, she has an "empty love tank" I tried to fill it. I definately filled it for her children but she sure didn't. And when I look back at how she decribed her child hood, and seeing how her mother acted for the three years I have known her, HER "love tank is empty too". Ever read the 5 laguages of love? I have.

 

Bottom line, she didn't, couldn't believe what we had as a family was real. She just resorted to zanex, vicodin and weed to mask what ever she was going through in life. Although she might have hidden it well, the whole thing could be that she just didn't want to be around me so she could freely get as high as she wants, hope the kids will just keep them selves busy , and not have me around to worry about. She knows I don't tolerate drug abuse. Hey, most of us may smoke a little weed in the evening before bed when the house is quiet and THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP. She actually was only smoking a little at night and even commented that she feels better not smoking all the time. This was 2 years into the relationship. But later in The R, she got up to smoking to bags of high powered weed a week. That's an indication of heavier drug use to me. But I couldn't prove it. I definately checked her prescriptions, but I think she was just using the older bottles incase I did. Not only that, she always had these aches and pains. . Now add into the mix, ever since the place she works at got their liquor licence, things got worse. And I do believe that the place had an influence on her along with the boss who I know was smoking out with her during the day.

 

Wilson, bottom line, I know she is a path of self distruction. As for me, I'm doing better than what my posts here may indicate. But I'm a good man, stable, great family, great friends, great job, a nice home owner for 15 years, not an eye sore at all by any means, not abusive, clean, oranized and pretty much have my crap together. But the fact still remains, although it's post 6 months, I still have feelings. Especially for the kids. I know they aren't my kids, but, I took them in my heart like my own.

 

And for further thoughts, there is no way in hell I would consider taking her back if she called tomorrow. The ONLY way I would consider even THINKING about discussing recon with her is if she called me, told me she didn't work there anymore and has started therapy. At a MINIMUN!

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

you are giving her too much control and she's not going to respect you for it.

 

 

He's giving her power she doesn't even know she has!

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

As for me, I'm doing better than what my posts here may indicate. But I'm a good man, stable, great family, great friends, great job, a nice home owner for 15 years, not an eye sore at all by any means, not abusive, clean, oranized and pretty much have my crap together.

 

Then use these good qualities and fine a woman that will appreicate all of these qualities in a man! Believe me! You may not see it! But there are good women out there LOOKING FOR A GUY LIKE YOU!!! She's just waiting for you to find her! But you're never going to find her until you learn to let go!

  • Author
stunned8165 Established Member

stunned8165

Posted
  • Author
Posted

As for me, I'm doing better than what my posts here may indicate. But I'm a good man, stable, great family, great friends, great job, a nice home owner for 15 years, not an eye sore at all by any means, not abusive, clean, oranized and pretty much have my crap together.

 

Then use these good qualities and fine a woman that will appreicate all of these qualities in a man! Believe me! You may not see it! But there are good women out there LOOKING FOR A GUY LIKE YOU!!! She's just waiting for you to find her! But you're never going to find her until you learn to let go!

 

 

 

I'm trying my hardest. I promise. This Holiday stuff doesn't help much either. Just let me get past the holidays and I bet you see a new Stunned!

wilsonx Established Member

wilsonx

Posted
Posted (edited)
Wilson. Sorry about your ex being a no show. But obviously you still have feelings if you tried. And all you can do is give yourself an e for effort.

 

The book you suggested i'm familiar with. From what I remember from that book, In short, I never gave up what was important to me. And as far as the sexual parts go, well, I won't get into further detail. Bottom line with her, she has an "empty love tank" I tried to fill it. I definately filled it for her children but she sure didn't. And when I look back at how she decribed her child hood, and seeing how her mother acted for the three years I have known her, HER "love tank is empty too". Ever read the 5 laguages of love? I have.

 

Bottom line, she didn't, couldn't believe what we had as a family was real. She just resorted to zanex, vicodin and weed to mask what ever she was going through in life. Although she might have hidden it well, the whole thing could be that she just didn't want to be around me so she could freely get as high as she wants, hope the kids will just keep them selves busy , and not have me around to worry about. She knows I don't tolerate drug abuse. Hey, most of us may smoke a little weed in the evening before bed when the house is quiet and THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP. She actually was only smoking a little at night and even commented that she feels better not smoking all the time. This was 2 years into the relationship. But later in The R, she got up to smoking to bags of high powered weed a week. That's an indication of heavier drug use to me. But I couldn't prove it. I definately checked her prescriptions, but I think she was just using the older bottles incase I did. Not only that, she always had these aches and pains. . Now add into the mix, ever since the place she works at got their liquor licence, things got worse. And I do believe that the place had an influence on her along with the boss who I know was smoking out with her during the day.

 

Wilson, bottom line, I know she is a path of self distruction. As for me, I'm doing better than what my posts here may indicate. But I'm a good man, stable, great family, great friends, great job, a nice home owner for 15 years, not an eye sore at all by any means, not abusive, clean, oranized and pretty much have my crap together. But the fact still remains, although it's post 6 months, I still have feelings. Especially for the kids. I know they aren't my kids, but, I took them in my heart like my own.

 

And for further thoughts, there is no way in hell I would consider taking her back if she called tomorrow. The ONLY way I would consider even THINKING about discussing recon with her is if she called me, told me she didn't work there anymore and has started therapy. At a MINIMUN!

 

This thread is not about me, nor is this thread about your ex. Stop!

 

This thread is about you. Look into the mirror and stop looking at all your rights and focus on your wrongs, they are posted right here in this thread.

 

Its clear as day, everything that is wrong and is bothering you is right here in this thread but you wont look into the mirror and admit it and let it go

 

Do you know how hard it is to help people on this forum. Read all your posts and threads that you started, you are saying the same things now that you first did when you started. WE HAVE ALL HEARD YOU, its ok.

 

Now listen to yourself, stop speaking, stop typing and listen to what you are telling yourself, its right here............. hint it has nothing to do with your ex

Edited by wilsonx
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