MrSimple Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 As the title states.. seriously what the hell... Is she that insensitive to me? I absolutely refuse to reply to that question, because it is just so obvious what my answer will be. Sign... Hope she will wake up her idea about this whole stupid thing.. Sorry for the rant guys, I just find it very frustrating that I went through so long just to get this kind of response.
Author MrSimple Posted December 13, 2011 Author Posted December 13, 2011 Thinking of sending a "I'm okay, yet I'm not okay with going" type of message, to get her thinking if she is really doing herself a service. How do I come about with such a message? Any suggestions?
smudge21 Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 How long has the break up been? Depending on that kinda' means she may think you're over it by now (people have no idea how long it takes one to heal until they've been through it themselves). Personally though, I'd ignore it totally. No response at all.
Author MrSimple Posted December 13, 2011 Author Posted December 13, 2011 It's been 2 months already. Maybe she thinks I'm over it. The thing is, seems like she's messing with my mind by confusing me. I'm still trying to figure out what she means behind those sentences~
silly_panda Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 Man... Don't waste time trying to figure out what she means and all... Just focus on her actions... Those are the most trust worthy thing and they will always tell you the truth...
smokey bear Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 Man... Don't waste time trying to figure out what she means and all... Just focus on her actions... Those are the most trust worthy thing and they will always tell you the truth... In all honesty if i was you i would open up and let rip. I would say " what has happened to you that you have became so disrespectful and turned completely into someone else" honestly i would, and anyone that says oh she'll never forgive you it a load of rubbish because sometimes people need some home truths and if she ever looks back on you in the future this will stick in her mind that you were a respectable man who stuck to his boundaries do you get what i mean. Time to speak up and get your balls back. Tell her your great but you find it very disrespectful that she even asked you this and not to do it in the future. Then get your butt into nc, when i was in contact with my ex, his rebound flourished, soon s i went nc, 3 weeks later they were over. strict nc.
smudge21 Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 I see where Smokey's coming from with that reply, but I think after only 2 months, she's testing the water and looking for any reaction. No matter what you say, she'll just know she still has that power over you to get a response. I think even being angry is still an emotion and it tells her that she can still get to you at an emotional level. Not responding just says totally nothing. She'll make up her own mind of what that means, but the truth is, she'll never know. However, should be you feel the need to respond, then do it without emotion. A simple "no thanks" will suffice. Why feel the need to express any feelings towards her, good or bad?
Chi townD Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 She wants you in the "friend zone" in a bad way. She knows that you two have only been broken up for 2 month and she realizes that she in a new relationship and she probably knows how that seems to you. That she really didn't care about you for tossing you aside so quickly and jump into something with someone else. So, she feels guilty. In her head, if she can get you in the "friend zone" she can ease her guilt and convince herself that breaking up was the best choice for everyone. Don't give her the satisfaction.
DustySaltus Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 Best Response = No Response A couple things to consider: -She's think about her needs not yours. -She wants the new guy to be jealous, it makes her feel better about herself. -She really wants to be FRIENDS with you and maybe keep you in the background for a future string-a-long until someone else comes along.
wilsonx Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 It's been 2 months already. Maybe she thinks I'm over it. The thing is, seems like she's messing with my mind by confusing me. I'm still trying to figure out what she means behind those sentences~ Here's the thing, you are both confused, its not just her, its you too. She's not messing with your mind, she has no control over your mind unless you give it to her. Stop reading this thread from her perspective and the responses from her perspective about her guilt and her shame. It has nothing to do with claiming your balls either. It has to do with your ability to make decisions and not regret the consequences of them. Whatever happens happens and you are a long ways away from it. Until you get to this point, stay NC.
Ajax Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 What is the nature of the gathering, and how did she invite you? Will mutual friends be there? Was it a mass Facebook invite in which the invitation and not personal? There's really no way to know her true motives, only speculate. If this was in fact a mass Facebook invite, then I think the best thing to do is simply not reply. I never do, even to events I want to go to. I figure if someone really wants you there they'll have to do more than just check a box next to your name on a list and hit "invite." If it was a more personal invitation and she pressed you for a response, then clearly you're busy that night and unable to attend.
BoredAgain Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 Yeah, people do that sort of thing... Right after my girlfriend broke up with me, she begged me to come to this family gathering of hers (which takes place next weekend). She clearly couldn't have thought this was a good idea -- after all, not only would it be slightly humiliating and extremely awkward to be around her family, I would be completely heartbroken if she were there with a new boyfriend. So why did she (and why do other people?) do this sort of thing? My guess is that it stems from a fear of losing the person closest to them... people want to have their cake and eat it too.
Author MrSimple Posted December 13, 2011 Author Posted December 13, 2011 Ajax: It wasn't a FB invite, she sent me a text asking me if I was keen on going, but the other guy will be going as well. Truth is, I got wind of it from my friend who is also going. But my friend feels it is not worth it if she just goes herself, because she will feel left out. My ex wants the tickets my friend has, so if she doesn't go, they can just cancel the whole outing without me even doing anything. So I'll just stay NC for now? Coz I was hoping to convince her to come to my New Year Eve gathering, to have fun and celebrate the new year. It's very crucial now how I deal with things within this time period~
Million.to.1 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Sorry, what!? ..You want to invite your recent Ex to a new years party?!? ... Sucker for punishment much?
Author MrSimple Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I was the dumpee, and I do want to get her back. If it was the other way round, then yes, I'll be crazy to do such a thing. But I really do want her back in my life.
smokey bear Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I was the dumpee, and I do want to get her back. If it was the other way round, then yes, I'll be crazy to do such a thing. But I really do want her back in my life. Ive read a few of your posts and im sorry if this creates false hope, but i really think this girl will come back to you, its up to you if you want it, to help the process along, you really need to go strict nc, ive advised that before and also mentioned that her rebound will probably fail quickly if you exit the scene.
Author MrSimple Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Smokey: Don't worry, I've planned out all possible scenerios, good and bad. Strict NC is what i am currently doing now. The thing is, will you advise me to break it on Sun? I am intending to use it as a way to try to get her to go out with me for a "friendate", like a quick drink or lunch. Try to re-connect if possible. Coz I'm thinking of asking her out on Christmas Eve, but it will be abit weird if I were to ask suddenly out of the blue when I disappeared for like a week or so. She may suspect something is up, but if I have met her once, she should be more relaxed with the idea about meeting me again.
Ajax Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Smokey: Don't worry, I've planned out all possible scenerios, good and bad. Strict NC is what i am currently doing now. The thing is, will you advise me to break it on Sun? I am intending to use it as a way to try to get her to go out with me for a "friendate", like a quick drink or lunch. Try to re-connect if possible. Coz I'm thinking of asking her out on Christmas Eve, but it will be abit weird if I were to ask suddenly out of the blue when I disappeared for like a week or so. She may suspect something is up, but if I have met her once, she should be more relaxed with the idea about meeting me again. Seriously??? How 'bout a big NO! Whatever your feelings are for her, she left you and has a boyfriend. You need to let her go and respect that. It doesn't matter whether or not she invited you to a gathering... you need to disappear. It's pretty obvious that the "friendate" isn't really that. It's a pretty transparent ploy to try to win her back. And if she went along with it and you won her back from the new guy you'd both constantly be having doubts about the future of your relationship. You'd be wondering if she were secretly still seeing him, so on and so forth. Come on man, put it to rest. Start the new year out with a fresh slate, not reopening old wounds.
Author MrSimple Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I'll have to leave her an opening email then. Weird to suddenly vanish like that, coz we've been talking for quite abit. Thing is, will the same thing work twice?
Author MrSimple Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 3rd day since NC started, keep it like this? Coz her last msg to me was asking me to go the gathering and that the other guy will be going also. I don't want to reply, but is it okay to suddenly vanish like this? Or is an opening email recommanded? Do advise me, thanks!
smokey bear Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 3rd day since NC started, keep it like this? Coz her last msg to me was asking me to go the gathering and that the other guy will be going also. I don't want to reply, but is it okay to suddenly vanish like this? Or is an opening email recommanded? Do advise me, thanks! Go strict nc, no opening email, nothing, your going to have to get 3-4 weeks nc under your belt. DO NOT DO ANYTHING UNTIL HER REBOUND ENDS. Walk away, while your still in the picture your helping her rebound last longer and longer, go strict nc, no frind meet up nothing, listen to the advice your being given and give it a shot, you'll be surprised with the results. Go strict nc, continue it until her rebound ends and she's had time to be single. I know your not going to listen to this advice, just by your posts.
Author MrSimple Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Smokey: Thanks, that's what i needed to hear~ =)
oldguy Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 it will be over when you end it, when you stop caring what she thinks or does, when there is not thought of her. That takes time & 'the' process. It sounds like she is inviting you to be mean more than incentive.
Author MrSimple Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Oh, suddenly got a msg from her. Bringing up something from the past, nice attempt~
Author MrSimple Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 Outing is messed up, and there's tension between them now. Wow, NC can do wonders~
Recommended Posts