chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 yes it has only been 1,5 months. i mean that not a long time at all, it could take the double time to realize youve made a mistake. its just this feeling that youre alone. if i would be on a date my focus wouldnt be on her. i hate this "not knowing feeling" you see signs that shes looking up on you or she's thinking about you. facebook for instance, dangerous stuff. it could be coincidence, and you know it, but still you want to believe its not. and youre continuing to speculate
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Step out of yourself. What advice would you give me in your boat? In your situation it does sound like you both want eachother back??? Are you both too stubborn?
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Step out of yourself. What advice would you give me in your boat? In your situation it does sound like you both want eachother back??? Are you both too stubborn? i have no idea what she wants. i do have feeling for her. maybe im just not sure if it will work out. i pushed her away. i told her a few days later by email that the breakup was for the best. she texted me 5 minutes later, how are you?, thats to me is a sign that she wasnt comfortable with my email. well i said i was fine, and she said she was fine. then she texted me 1 week later, how are you? what are you doing etc. i made it short, she really tried to keep the conversation going. 1 week after that "stupid me" texted her, but i made it really short this time to. 1 week after that she texted me again. because she saw on Facebook that i was going to the town where she's study. note that it said, were going tuesday or wednesday. it was friday then. she texted me tuesday. to me it looks like panicmode? what is he going to do here. i cant hold it any longer so i have to ask. she asked me about everything, and i mean everything. funny thing is that i said, im going to meet some friends because interestingly enough an old friend added me and she lives in the same town as my ex is studying. of course my ex never mentioned that, but i was kinda angry with her asking me why im going there. so i turned the table. i let her believe that i might see that girl. but i really wasnt. and i didnt lie about anything. well right now, and this is something thats bugging me. she has all of the sudden started to use facebook to the extremes. and yes i am preety sure she's stalking me. every time im online shes there. when i log out and then log in, she has logged out. dont get me wrong, im not saying this is a sign that she wants me back, but its a sign that she doesnt like the feeling of not knowing.
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 She wants you plain and simple. If she was just curious she wouldnt be obsessed with having to be on fb at the same time as you.
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 She wants you plain and simple. If she was just curious she wouldnt be obsessed with having to be on fb at the same time as you. im not to sure about it. i mean this is just speculations, it could be coincidence. but i find it hard to believe. the weird thing is that shes putting up pictures all the time, she's partying and just typing a lot on her profile, something she never has done before. but like i tell everyone else. be aware that this could mean anything. she might not feel good about this, she might even love you. but that doesnt mean she will take you back.
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 the pictures and typing, she is trying to rebuild her life as you are and maybe trying to portray she is having a great time. I do that with my ex because I now want to be seen as fun not needy. If she was sitting at home on her own you wouldnt be wanting her so much.
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 the pictures and typing, she is trying to rebuild her life as you are and maybe trying to portray she is having a great time. I do that with my ex because I now want to be seen as fun not needy. If she was sitting at home on her own you wouldnt be wanting her so much. i see your point, but i have a hard time believing it since it now personal. if you would have asked me the same thing, i could see myself telling you what you just told me. but she dumped me, its so hard to actually believe the signs. thanks for giving me your opinion on this, ill have to ask you a question though. lets say she thinks theres a chance im dating. doesnt girls often try to figure out stuff like, is she better looking then me? and when a guy cant have his ex, he's going to hunt down every singlegirl there is?.. couldnt it be that simple that she thinks im just going for another one and she's jealous?
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 There is the danger if you go out with someone she wont be jealous, she may be pleased you have moved on. Also, if you are using a girl just to make her jealous then that is not fair on the girl. Who gives a monkeys if she thinks you have just gone for the first thing. It is not her life it is yours.
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 There is the danger if you go out with someone she wont be jealous, she may be pleased you have moved on. Also, if you are using a girl just to make her jealous then that is not fair on the girl. Who gives a monkeys if she thinks you have just gone for the first thing. It is not her life it is yours. well im not planning to use someone. its just that im sure she knows that some girls has been contacting me after the breakup. people who never did when we where together. people she dont know. theres no interest from my part. i agree that it could be a relief to see that ive moved on. i think the worst thing is to not actually know if i someone is dating or not. i mean lets say your ex is getting message from a guy and you can see it, kinda obvious you would look that person up right?
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Remember healing is about mending you and not thinking about her. Do what you want. do what makes you happy. She will.
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Remember healing is about mending you and not thinking about her. Do what you want. do what makes you happy. She will. yeah its just those days you know, just saying that it could be a sign that she just wants to know whats going on, even if she's over me or not, she will continue figuring out what im up to. i am really moving on. im not chasing her and im keeping the door open for dates. and i will be careful, because i dont want to believe that im in love with someone else when im not. well thanks for advice. lets move on right?
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 We cant force our ex's to come back. NC and moving on is the only way Chad. Its Christmas, Get that out the way and dont worry about what she thinks. Worry about fixing yourself. You will feel better tomorrow. Its a new day.
smokey bear Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 If dumpers are human and have feelings. Why dont they answer your questions and act like you are non existant. The person you knew before with morals and hamanity turns into literally the most selfish, uncaring person you have ever known. Why is this? I would not do this I am sure unless I dumped someone I hated. This is very important, because they dont know the answers themselves. Classic gigs, would you take him back?
smokey bear Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 As far as being selfish after the b/u, does this selfishness also show itself during the relationship,,, being cheap as far as buying your g/f,,b/f gifts,(Birthday ,,Xmas) not offering to help pay or chipping in on dates, other,, yet they have enough money for themselves, new clothes,shoes, and other stuff related to them only. No, they can be loving and giving during the relationship, I am egocentric but i was never selfish or self centred.
smokey bear Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I am not sure I fully understand what you are trying to say her M2155. Are you saying. If I give him space he will have chance to come to terms with his feelings? Are you saying he will be happy with OW for a long time because of the relief? Are you saying that when you go NC that is when they feel sorry for you? I think you can judge the length of a persons gigs by cartain character traits, its not a definate theory, one im just testing at the moment but its worth a consider.
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 Is this symptoms of classic gigs? I dont know if I would take him back. I may and probably shoul say go f**k yourself but he is my husband of 25 years so would need to think drastically and obviously it would be extremely hard work all round. I dont know anymore.
Author lolita jade Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 I think you can judge the length of a persons gigs by cartain character traits, its not a definate theory, one im just testing at the moment but its worth a consider. Are you saying traits will change as the new relationship progresses towards me or are you talking about normal character traits?
SkyEmtRN Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I'm still having trouble determining if my ex is in GIGS she: - talks/spends time to another guy whether they dating or not, his presence is around - I told her NC is the best for right now, and she sends me more messages and doesn't say she agrees or disagrees. She kind of avoided an agreement or disagreement to that statement - She still has my stuff and pictures on facebook - She usually tries to contact me first, and gets upset if I don't message her back - She did try to rub that guy in my face and wanted me to talk about other girls to her like we were best friends - I know she is comparing me and that guy even though she told him she is not ready for a relationship yet he pays for her for lunch - After I told her that NC is the best, she said "have a good life" signed off AIM.... a few minutes later signs back one...waits a while and then sends me a message I'm confused and could use a little help if this is GIGS
smokey bear Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Are you saying traits will change as the new relationship progresses towards me or are you talking about normal character traits? Character traits of the person you knew for 25 years, id like to hear more about your story and you can decide yourself if it sounds like gigs
smokey bear Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I'm still having trouble determining if my ex is in GIGS she: - talks/spends time to another guy whether they dating or not, his presence is around - I told her NC is the best for right now, and she sends me more messages and doesn't say she agrees or disagrees. She kind of avoided an agreement or disagreement to that statement - She still has my stuff and pictures on facebook - She usually tries to contact me first, and gets upset if I don't message her back - She did try to rub that guy in my face and wanted me to talk about other girls to her like we were best friends - I know she is comparing me and that guy even though she told him she is not ready for a relationship yet he pays for her for lunch - After I told her that NC is the best, she said "have a good life" signed off AIM.... a few minutes later signs back one...waits a while and then sends me a message I'm confused and could use a little help if this is GIGS These are personal things she's doing, you cant judge on that. I cant answer that, there are two or three gigs threads on here explaining exactly what its like, have a search and see if you think your situation matches but normally its patying, or doing a complete 180 on their lifestyle and morals.
SkyEmtRN Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 These are personal things she's doing, you cant judge on that. I cant answer that, there are two or three gigs threads on here explaining exactly what its like, have a search and see if you think your situation matches but normally its patying, or doing a complete 180 on their lifestyle and morals. Thanks, lets just say the guy that she is talking to is a complete 180.
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 people could realize theyve made a mistake and take you back, they could also realize theyve made a mistake by taking you back. its very likely that the reason they come back is because they are alone. after all. every dumper out there has gigs. why would they else leave you?. a dumper leaves you because they believe they will be happier with someone else. yes i understand that the point with gigs is that they come back. just saying that there could be a lot of reasons for that. sometimes it works sometimes it dont.
SkyEmtRN Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 people could realize theyve made a mistake and take you back, they could also realize theyve made a mistake by taking you back. its very likely that the reason they come back is because they are alone. after all. every dumper out there has gigs. why would they else leave you?. a dumper leaves you because they believe they will be happier with someone else. yes i understand that the point with gigs is that they come back. just saying that there could be a lot of reasons for that. sometimes it works sometimes it dont. Yea I really hope she does realize she made a mistake...its going to be difficult since that guy is around. He has stuff that I couldn't give her right now. But once I graduate I could have given her everything she wanted...even more than what that guy can give...she was just impatient...
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Yea I really hope she does realize she made a mistake...its going to be difficult since that guy is around. He has stuff that I couldn't give her right now. But once I graduate I could have given her everything she wanted...even more than what that guy can give...she was just impatient... dont ever believe that money will make her love you, there are some that would stay because of money. but they sure arent going to love you for it.
SkyEmtRN Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 dont ever believe that money will make her love you, there are some that would stay because of money. but they sure arent going to love you for it. Yea I know, I'm just saying. Right now she in a confused state so it easy for her to jump all over the place and to not think straight ya know... She still says she doesn't know how she feels or what she wants. I don't believe her and I'm not believing anything she does say. I'm just what ever with what she says. Still on NC and have no updates...this was all before.
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