Jane2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I am just wondering. What I mean by this is... Is there nothing worse a woman can do to you than sleep with someone else while she is supposed to be your girlfriend or wife? Is it worse than her having an emotional bond with another man but not ever having had sex with him?
carhill Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 If she and I have agreed to be sexually and/or emotionally monogamous, then any abrogation of that agreement are her (or my) walking papers. Termination without severance pay.
Art_Critic Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Jane.. you are talking about cold hearted betrayal.. not the man being Sexually Possessive. Being betrayed by the person you trust and give your heart to would be a terrible hurt.. To be Sexually Possessive aren't you both supposed to be committed to one another and not to others ?
Author Jane2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 Art_Critic, you're right. I guess I should have worded things differently. I guess I'm just wondering if sexual betrayals are the worst possible kind for a man.
Art_Critic Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I guess I'm just wondering if sexual betrayals are the worst possible kind for a man. I'd defer to Carhill's post.. that sums it up for me too... I would consider them both of equal betrayal and a breach of the marriage contract. To me they would both hurt the same and have the same effect on the marriage
laotzu Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I agree that it's a terrible title for your question. Yes, if the girl I'm with cheats on me it's awful. Everything depends on context, though. A ONS that she confesses to is something I can get over, whereas a 3 month emotional affair is something I likely can't.
carhill Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 OP, I don't discriminate between sexual and emotional betrayals, nor between 'who' betrays and is betrayed. That all said, each relationship is unique and necessarily will be unique in how the dynamics play out. This is witnessed by the LS'ers who have experienced such an abrogation and negotiated a mutually satisfying settlement to continue the agreement on new terms.
ShannonMI Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I am just wondering. What I mean by this is... Is there nothing worse a woman can do to you than sleep with someone else while she is supposed to be your girlfriend or wife? Is it worse than her having an emotional bond with another man but not ever having had sex with him? I think both men and women are sexually possessive. If you have a SO and they cheat, no matter if you are male or female, it's going to be epically horrible. There is nothing worse then cheating physically with someone. Emotional cheating is bad as well, but I think being physical with someone else trumps that. Just my opinion.
musemaj11 Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 I am just wondering. What I mean by this is... Is there nothing worse a woman can do to you than sleep with someone else while she is supposed to be your girlfriend or wife? Is it worse than her having an emotional bond with another man but not ever having had sex with him? If Im paying for your time and attention, its within my right to demand your exclusive service.
dasein Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 I would think extreme physical violence that leads to severe injury would be worse than sexual betrayal, though haven't experienced the former. I'd rather be cheated on than shot.
tigressA Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 Before I read the initial post, I thought of the question as applied to a non-exclusive dating status. If a man and a woman are dating but still seeing others, is the man more likely to frown upon or dismiss the woman for having sex with these 'others' as well as himself? IME, yes. In a thread I posted here last year complaining about my ex's 'ban' on sex when we first started dating (which never really happened ), I contemplated getting side action because we weren't exclusive. I was flamed so hard for expressing that notion.
EnigmaticClarity Posted December 13, 2011 Posted December 13, 2011 Is there nothing worse a woman can do to you than sleep with someone else while she is supposed to be your girlfriend or wife? This is worse: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14131133
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 (edited) This is worse: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14131133 The chick in that pic is a man. Seriously. What's worse than a woman cheating on me? A woman who cheats on me, gets pregnant with the other dude, and then expects me to take care of it. Unfortunately, this stuff happens all the time with other guys. Edited December 14, 2011 by Oxy Moronovich
Fondue Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Physical cheating is much worse, yah. I will never, ever, forgive someone for that. Regardless of conditions, drunk, ONS, etc. Simply inexcusable. Emotional cheating is nothing to me. In fact, I'd probably welcome it. If it takes off the burden off my shoulders, then I'm happy with it. By this I mean, if it's less emotional crap I have to deal with, the better. If there is another dude willing to talk to my woman about "things," then that simply gives me less work to do. She can go talk to him on the phone for hours as long as she comes back to my bed ready to do play (and then hopefully leave after the fact-- maybe even to talk to that guy about her it if she pleases). What can I say, I'm an honest man.
ShannonMI Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Physical cheating is much worse, yah. I will never, ever, forgive someone for that. Regardless of conditions, drunk, ONS, etc. Simply inexcusable. Emotional cheating is nothing to me. In fact, I'd probably welcome it. If it takes off the burden off my shoulders, then I'm happy with it. By this I mean, if it's less emotional crap I have to deal with, the better. If there is another dude willing to talk to my woman about "things," then that simply gives me less work to do. She can go talk to him on the phone for hours as long as she comes back to my bed ready to do play (and then hopefully leave after the fact-- maybe even to talk to that guy about her it if she pleases). What can I say, I'm an honest man. But what if she falls in love with him? Women are far more emotional and if a man is meeting those needs better then another man, she's going to go for the one who is more emotionally available. That's all there is to it. Your ass would get dumped. Sorry to be so blunt, but you have to be there for your girl. Physically and emotionally. If a dude is filling in for you in either area, it's bad.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 several months ago, I read a study that said "in general" men are less forgiving for physical cheating and women are less forgiving for emotional cheating. My life experiences agree with the study.
Fondue Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 But what if she falls in love with him? Women are far more emotional and if a man is meeting those needs better then another man, she's going to go for the one who is more emotionally available. That's all there is to it. Your ass would get dumped. Sorry to be so blunt, but you have to be there for your girl. Physically and emotionally. If a dude is filling in for you in either area, it's bad. I see what you're saying, Shannon. And honestly, I don't think I have a way to refute it. Mostly because it's probably true. With that said, I guess this question was inappropriate for me. I never feel attachment toward people like others do. I don't know if you ever read any of my other posts, but I'm pretty much not relationship material due to simply because I don't make any emotional connections and limit relationships to sex. I suppose this is why I said what I said in my previous post. Maybe this question should only apply to those who build the foundations of their relationships on emotions and stuff. Haha.
ShannonMI Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I see what you're saying, Shannon. And honestly, I don't think I have a way to refute it. Mostly because it's probably true. With that said, I guess this question was inappropriate for me. I never feel attachment toward people like others do. I don't know if you ever read any of my other posts, but I'm pretty much not relationship material due to simply because I don't make any emotional connections and limit relationships to sex. I suppose this is why I said what I said in my previous post. Maybe this question should only apply to those who build the foundations of their relationships on emotions and stuff. Haha. How old are you? You don't have emotional connections with people? What is that about? Have you been burned before or something? Just seems strange to me.
U1987 Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 How old are you? You don't have emotional connections with people? What is that about? Have you been burned before or something? Just seems strange to me. It's not strange at all. It seems like a tired old saying, but it really is true that "men use love to get sex, and women use sex to get love," and that thus men are more burned by sexual infidelity and women are more burned by emotional infidelity. We learned this in Evolutionary Psychology; there's actually been several scientific studies on this. Researchers have taken biometric recordings of men and women (heart rate, blood pressure, skin conductances, EKG, MRI, etc) while reading them scenarios in which 1) they caught their partners having a sexual affair 2) they themselves were having a sexual affair 3) they caught their partners having an emotional affair 4) they themselves were having an emotional affair The results? Men's biometrics skyrocketed when presented with scenarios 1 and 2, and women's biometrics skyrocketed when presented with scenarios 3 and 4. It makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint; the biological imperative for males is to produce children that are genetically his own. The biological imperative of females (in monogamous mammals) is to conceive genetically superior children and convince a man to invest his time and resources in them. And why not? Men produce more sperm in a single second than women produce viable eggs in their lifetime. Sexual infidelity poses a threat to a man's bloodline (he may be tricked into raising a child that is not his own). Emotional infidelity does not. Sexual infidelity doesn't pose a threat to a woman's reproductive options; there's always going to be a male willing to impregnate her. Emotional infidelity, however, poses a threat to her prospect of keeping a man to help raise her children though.
Dust Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I'm actually sexually possessive of all women. I should go around having the first sex with virgin brides before their wedding!
ptp Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 I am not entirely sure what you mean by "emotional bond". However, in general yes physical cheating is worse. Once I thought an ex, that I dated for a long time and was in love with, might have cheated. on me. I had a physical reaction....I felt like throwing up. Fortunately she didn't
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