Author HughHardcastle Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 So this is dead. On Sunday night I left a Christmas gift on the desk of each of the people I work with. Each gift was in the $10-20 range, and was something that I actually put some thought into (not just a gift card and some dumb coffee mug). For the girl I am into, I heard her talking about a specific kind of wine she loves, so I got her a bottle of that. I also made her a funny, cute Christmas card, one that kinda played off the cards her and I exchanged a couple weeks ago (back when she actually liked me I was off on Monday, and throughout the day, a couple of my co-workers emailed me their thanks, etc. I get into work today, and the rest of them eventually told me thanks, stuff like that. The only one who didn't? The girl I like(d). Basically, she acted as if it never happened. So I guess treating her well and getting her a thoughtful gift was the WORST thing to do in this situation. I am seriously thinking this girl might have split personalities or something. Never have I had anyone, be it man, woman, or even small dog or cat, completely turn on me for no reason whatsoever. It's not like I felt her up in the backseat of a car, or grabbed her ass at the office Christmas party. I asked her if she would like to get coffee or dinner some night. That is it. Apparently, that is enough to completely scare off someone from even considering "friendzoning" them. Live and learn I guess.
jobaba Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) So this is dead. On Sunday night I left a Christmas gift on the desk of each of the people I work with. Each gift was in the $10-20 range, and was something that I actually put some thought into (not just a gift card and some dumb coffee mug). For the girl I am into, I heard her talking about a specific kind of wine she loves, so I got her a bottle of that. I also made her a funny, cute Christmas card, one that kinda played off the cards her and I exchanged a couple weeks ago (back when she actually liked me I was off on Monday, and throughout the day, a couple of my co-workers emailed me their thanks, etc. I get into work today, and the rest of them eventually told me thanks, stuff like that. The only one who didn't? The girl I like(d). Basically, she acted as if it never happened. So I guess treating her well and getting her a thoughtful gift was the WORST thing to do in this situation. I am seriously thinking this girl might have split personalities or something. Never have I had anyone, be it man, woman, or even small dog or cat, completely turn on me for no reason whatsoever. It's not like I felt her up in the backseat of a car, or grabbed her ass at the office Christmas party. I asked her if she would like to get coffee or dinner some night. That is it. Apparently, that is enough to completely scare off someone from even considering "friendzoning" them. Live and learn I guess. I'm sorry man. That sucks. Been there for sure... *Bolded* Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she likely never was into you in 'that way'. When she found out you were, the way she handled it was by slowly distancing herself. After you kept advancing (with the personalized gift), she became flustered and didn't know what to do. So she ignored you. Different women handle this situation differently and a lot depends on how much they truly value as a friend. But I'd say this one is kaput on all fronts. Just write her off. You'll get over her. It'll take time. Just keep distance. Because she WILL date other people and that won't be fun for you. In the future, do not let yourself get attached to women that haven't reciprocated anything if you can help it. Be ballsy and hit on her in the beginning. And run at the first rejection. Don't follow your heart and do little things for her and buy her stuff to try and win her approval. Won't happen bud. Tips from my own tough beats... My #1 and most important tip: Use that rejection and go hit on other women NOW. How much lower can you be than now? What difference does it make if another woman rejects you since your heart is in your foot right now? Comb your cell phone and ask out potentials. Go to clubs and bars. Hit on women. Do it now... BTW, do you have any pics of her? I can tell you how much of your obsession was based on pure physicality and how much was rapport between the two of you. That's helped me in the past. Edited December 21, 2011 by jobaba
SimonMas Posted December 21, 2011 Posted December 21, 2011 You will definitely get over her. You have gained experience and have a story to share with the many hopefuls in this forum. I have gone through a number of rejections and break ups. Each time I learned from it and improve myself which eventually led me to marry someone I could love and who loves me back. Merry Christmas.
Author HughHardcastle Posted December 21, 2011 Author Posted December 21, 2011 Well, the good thing in all this is we still get along great at work, and there is no awkwardness between us at all. She still displays all the cliched "signs of attraction", but I have resigned myself to the fact that she is either just being nice, or is like that with everyone. I am still going to ask her if she wants to meet up with my friend and I on Friday night, but purely as a "friends hanging out" type of thing. And if she doesn't want to, that's fine. Thank you LS community for being supportive in all this.
SimonMas Posted December 22, 2011 Posted December 22, 2011 Well, the good thing in all this is we still get along great at work, and there is no awkwardness between us at all. She still displays all the cliched "signs of attraction", but I have resigned myself to the fact that she is either just being nice, or is like that with everyone. I am still going to ask her if she wants to meet up with my friend and I on Friday night, but purely as a "friends hanging out" type of thing. And if she doesn't want to, that's fine. Thank you LS community for being supportive in all this. Either way, you will be fine. Good luck
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