The paradoxical emotions of breaking up with someone you're still in love with

[Standard-Fare]

When you love someone, that love is motivated by every instinct in your body. The love is the most innocent, alive and hopeful part of you. It is completely counterintuitive to have to numb and eventually just kill that part of yourself. It's a mental war. When you go to bed at night craving your partner -- a craving that feels as natural and urgent as a need for water -- you have to tell yourself those instincts are wrong. You have to smother your love with cold realism.

 

And then at the end of that process, when realism has finally won, you are expected to want to start all over again. To revive that innocence and hopefulness against all practical odds, and open yourself up once more.

 

** Sorry -- I'm obviously in the midst of a breakup right now. Just trying to sort through some complicated (and utterly wrenching) emotions.**

[OnyxSnowfall]

Yes... precisely...

 

It's ludicrous...

[Lis007]

Are the instincts really wrong?

 

Its tough and the battle between reality and hope is tough...

 

We have to dream, have faith and hope that true love overcomes all!

 

Living through the process is the hard part... head/heart/head/heart...

 

I hope things work out for you....

[maya arrow]

word.

 

what's so great about cold realism though?

[norajane]

You can grow and learn with every experience, which prepares you to be the best partner you can be when you eventually do find someone that complements you well.