ImageofLove Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Hi all, I am feeling very confused atm about whether or not I just end our relationship with my fiance. For starters, I feel resentment for him taking so long to get his act together and propose after 5yrs together. I feel confused because it's normally me bringing up wedding ideas/plans. Whenever I mention this to him he says "of course I want to get married". He will occasionally bring up plans but it's never consistent. I guess I want him to continually prove to me that he truly wants to marry me after the resentment I held before he proposed. When we were fighting one night he said "Well, I'll probably have to pay for it"!! I have more investments than him so most of my money goes towards this but he seems to be so separate still. If he really wanted to marry me it shouldn't be 'his money, my money' when it comes to paying for the wedding! Of course, he says I misconstrued this comment. Other things that bother/confuse me are that he is so good to me, affectionate, loving, supportive but then he will go and say something nasty and uncaring. Yesterday I was feeling a bit sick as we were driving to lunch (had a few wines at my work Christmas dinner and I don't normally drink much). I told him I felt like I was going to be sick as he was parking the car and I opened the door. He just said to me "get out of the car", obviously so I didn't vomit in the car. This was in front of a friend also, which was rude. If someone isn't caring when you're feeling unwell (doesn't matter if it is self inflicted) has always been a deal breaker for me. It's hard to make a decision, as our life together is great, loving, fun, affectionate and it feels right but I'm not sure I feel right about marrying him anymore. I'm so tired of being unsure. I want to be happy and sure of my future again! How do you make a clear decision about breaking up and making sure you're not making a mistake? Thanks
carhill Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 After five years together, with marriage on the table openly, I'd suggest some PMC to gain clarity about how to proceed. Get the issues out in the open, clarify them and make a decision as a team. If there's no teamwork, end it.
Author ImageofLove Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 Thanks Carhill, you're right. Will try PMC.
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