Cmac Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Do you know her login info? You could always sign in and delete the message before she sees it, if she hasn't already.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 Do you know her login info? You could always sign in and delete the message before she sees it, if she hasn't already. Lol if I did...I would have used that a loonnnggg time agoo...
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 The letter was definitely a big mistake and if she's a smart girl she'll see right through it. A "very close friend" of yours that she's never met appears out of nowhere and gives all sorts of personal insights about the relationship? It just doesn't make sense. Think about whether any of your friends would actually do something like that in real life -- the answer is no, right? Like someone else said, you gotta let go of both the "escape route" idea and the additional message. You will only bury yourself deeper with more lies and make yourself seem more unhinged and untrustworthy. If the letter does come up, you should admit to it and be like "I'm really ashamed. I've been completely out of my head. I guess that was my messed up way of trying to communicate my feelings to you." This really really sucksssssss.....I doubted myself saying I shouldn't send it...but I did...only cuz I wasn't thinking straight..but now I am..yet still don't know what to do...
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 LMAO SHE NEVER GOT THE MESSAGE!!!!!!! HOLLY HELL IM STOKED! So this is what happened...she messaged me first just in general. I kept the conversation calm then out of no where! I said: [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]omg (persons name)....your going to kill me for this....one of my friends just confessed that she made a fake facebook account and sent you a message trying to get us back together....i'm so sorry about this...[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] She said :lol what who? she checks her facebook.....says she never got a message!
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 This really really sucksssssss.....I doubted myself saying I shouldn't send it...but I did...only cuz I wasn't thinking straight..but now I am..yet still don't know what to do... first of all chill. i bet she can see right through you if youre acting like this. you put yourself in this situation. now you need to find a way to make it better. i think you should send her one email and one only. tell her that you now know what caused the breakup, and you understand her situation. and tell her that your okey with her decision. this will release the pressure between both of you. it will also make her see that your not miserable. after that stick with nc. you have no idea how great it can feel to just release that pressure. it doesnt sound like its gonna give you anything. but it does. and i strongly believe theres a far greater chance to ever get a person back by accepting their wishes.
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 LMAO SHE NEVER GOT THE MESSAGE!!!!!!! HOLLY HELL IM STOKED! So this is what happened...she messaged me first just in general. I kept the conversation calm then out of no where! I said: [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2][COLOR=#000000]omg (persons name)....your going to kill me for this....one of my friends just confessed that she made a fake facebook account and sent you a message trying to get us back together....i'm so sorry about this...[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT] She said :lol what who? she checks her facebook.....says she never got a message! wow, if thats true youre a lucky guy. i bet a lot of people here on LS are dreaming about what they should have done instead of what they did. and ill be the first one to admit im one of them
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 wow, if thats true youre a lucky guy. i bet a lot of people here on LS are dreaming about what they should have done instead of what they did. and ill be the first one to admit im one of them I know!! and I was like what? and she checked more than once. I deactivated that account real quick! Now...she tells me how she is spending time with another guy.........
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I know!! and I was like what? and she checked more than once. I deactivated that account real quick! Now...she tells me how she is spending time with another guy......... hm, either she's lying because she understands that you where the one sending it. maybe she even got it? or its a rebound. if youre going through a breakup, be careful with seeing other people the next day. you might fall in love very easy and after a while you realize its just a person filling in for your loneliness. if she hasnt got the email i really cant understand why she would tell you this. this is beyond low.. you didnt ask her? and she just told you out of the blue?
Cmac Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 ****, the other guy thing sucks man. This is why you should cut contact. You're better not knowing what she's up to.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 hm, either she's lying because she understands that you where the one sending it. maybe she even got it? or its a rebound. if youre going through a breakup, be careful with seeing other people the next day. you might fall in love very easy and after a while you realize its just a person filling in for your loneliness. if she hasnt got the email i really cant understand why she would tell you this. this is beyond low.. you didnt ask her? and she just told you out of the blue? She checked the facebook multiple times and still hasnt gotten it so what ever. And no I didn't ask about the guy she just voluntarily said it to me. She says she's not looking to be in a relationship. But she sure is looking aorund if she comparing me and him and if that guy is taking her out to lunch and pays for her.
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 ****, the other guy thing sucks man. This is why you should cut contact. You're better not knowing what she's up to. yeah but you know what? theres probably even a bigger chance for reconciliation if the dumper starts dating directly after the breakup. if theres still feelings involved. because mostly its just a fill in for your loneliness. and they will compare the two of you. one they have a history with. and one new person that are clingy and who's putting way to much effort to get the dumper to like him. the majority arent ready for that. on the other hand, is it a good idea to take a person back who's throwing it in to your face? i would be pissed of if my ex would say, im dating a new guy just after the breakup.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 ****, the other guy thing sucks man. This is why you should cut contact. You're better not knowing what she's up to. Oh trust me, I'm cutting contact very very soon. I'm glad I got that message off my chest lol.
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 She checked the facebook multiple times and still hasnt gotten it so what ever. And no I didn't ask about the guy she just voluntarily said it to me. She says she's not looking to be in a relationship. But she sure is looking aorund if she comparing me and him and if that guy is taking her out to lunch and pays for her. she could tell you whatever she wants. dont believe everything she says, not saying she's a lier but it could be a very uncomfortable situation for her. she could very well tell you what she think is the best way to not start an argument. paying for her? i know this is something all girls believe they want. and sure its a nice thing to do sometimes, my ex was studying, and i have a great work, i payed for her a lot. not because i wanted to be the nicest guy in the world, just because i could. and well she dumped me. trust me it has nothing to do with that.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 yeah but you know what? theres probably even a bigger chance for reconciliation if the dumper starts dating directly after the breakup. if theres still feelings involved. because mostly its just a fill in for your loneliness. and they will compare the two of you. one they have a history with. and one new person that are clingy and who's putting way to much effort to get the dumper to like him. the majority arent ready for that. on the other hand, is it a good idea to take a person back who's throwing it in to your face? i would be pissed of if my ex would say, im dating a new guy just after the breakup. Oh yea I am pissed. And she claims that its not a date...yet he pays for her when the go out to lunch, already met his family. She says she not ready to be in a relationship...hmm she obviously looking around. She keeps saying if I want to date other people. And that if I do it wouldn't make her feel guilty....Yea I am pissed...
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Oh yea I am pissed. And she claims that its not a date...yet he pays for her when the go out to lunch, already met his family. She says she not ready to be in a relationship...hmm she obviously looking around. She keeps saying if I want to date other people. And that if I do it wouldn't make her feel guilty....Yea I am pissed... it could be a test. dont fall for it. tell her your okey with her decision, you've put a lot of thought into it and realize its for the best. theres nothing wrong with this. if she doesnt want to be with you , well the breakup is for the best right?. trust me this will be a lot better then begging.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 (edited) it could be a test. dont fall for it. tell her your okey with her decision, you've put a lot of thought into it and realize its for the best. theres nothing wrong with this. if she doesnt want to be with you , well the breakup is for the best right?. trust me this will be a lot better then begging. I said something along those lines. I tried to avoid the conversation about her and the other guy but she was pushing it hard. I'm sure it is a test but I don't know and it's not my buisness to know. I said ok ill leave you alone and then she says "its ok you dont have to leave me alone"...we said our goodnite and ttys so NC begins again....One hell of a day it has been... But wooweee talk about ducking that message! She was constantly asking about me and other girls, I tried to avoid it and she was still wanting to know about it. She was sounding happy like entrigued to hear it so idk if that was an act or not. Edited December 12, 2011 by SkyEmtRN
Million.to.1 Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Maybe this is why she hasn't got the message. Well she has got it.. it's just hidden. I just saw this posted by a friend today. Check it out for yourself. I had 45 in my 'other' folder. http://mashable.com/2011/12/09/facebook-hidden-messages/
leoc1973 Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Sky you are in absolute panic mode! STOP. Look go on google and just look up things like I dumped my boyfriend and I want him back. Things like that just google it and you will get to read millions of stories. The one thing that keeps popping up is I dumped him and he didn't even seem like he cared... How do I get him back.... over and over again. That is how you get a girl back especially a younger woman. Think of this break up as a hall pass on the other end knowing that she WILL be back. Avoid her like the plague. She either has GIGS which means it will take 6 to 8 months for her to come back whether you threaten to kill yourself or someone else or your heart broken or dying or tricking her or whatever. Right now she is feeling so much relief to get rid of you! Read Smokeys stories. Or this is a regular breakup where she just can't deal with you but still loves you. Blow her off ignore her treat her like you never cared and she will come back soon. Either way relax relax relax!! Take a step out of your body and look at yourself... going crazy right! what would you tell a good friend of yours? Forget her there are tons of girls ect.. just stay away from her or she will be gone forever. You have in your mind right now if you don't strike while the iron is hot you are gonna lose her forever. Feelings dont' fade over night and she is no different. You don't have any kind of special circumstance like all of us believe when we first come on here. Then we start to realize that people are generally the same. She isn't gonna stop loving you over night. To pass time read everything you can and listen to all the people on here that screwed up and did the begging and crying and pleading and are sorrry they did it later. You are at a fork on the road. you can either follow in all of our footsteps and be here for 8 months saying I wish I didn't chase her for 3 months now how do I fix it. You have a golden opportunity here to go complete nc and get her ass back!! READ READ READ then think about it then Read some more don't DO anything no gifts flowers anything show her that you are a man and be one! Women love confident men the ones that are *******s and couldn't give 2 shi ts about them. sorry to rant but I just know what point you are at and I can't emphasize how bad I wish I could go back and be in your shoes right now. before I screwed everything up.
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I said something along those lines. I tried to avoid the conversation about her and the other guy but she was pushing it hard. I'm sure it is a test but I don't know and it's not my buisness to know. I said ok ill leave you alone and then she says "its ok you dont have to leave me alone"...we said our goodnite and ttys so NC begins again....One hell of a day it has been... But wooweee talk about ducking that message! She was constantly asking about me and other girls, I tried to avoid it and she was still wanting to know about it. She was sounding happy like entrigued to hear it so idk if that was an act or not. you are going to tell her that you are saying good bye, especially when she tells you theres other guys around. if she ask you about girls. dont just try, tell her, SHE got nothing to do with it. theres a weak behavior on both sides and will make her get the upper hand. dont fall for it. people are selfish after a breakup, but this is beyond selfish. tell her that your got time to think, and you believe this is probably the best for the both of you. then go nc, if she wants you back, she will contact you. by saying this wont make anything worse, trust me. its just you accepting her wishes. if she tells you she doesnt feel it, then its best for the both of you, cause its not a healthy relationship. if she's testing you, you need to have some selfrespect. if someone values a relationship they are willing to work for it, and not just dump you to see if youre the right one. if she comes crawling back, let her work for it.
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Sky you are in absolute panic mode! STOP. Look go on google and just look up things like I dumped my boyfriend and I want him back. Things like that just google it and you will get to read millions of stories. The one thing that keeps popping up is I dumped him and he didn't even seem like he cared... How do I get him back.... over and over again. That is how you get a girl back especially a younger woman. Think of this break up as a hall pass on the other end knowing that she WILL be back. Avoid her like the plague. She either has GIGS which means it will take 6 to 8 months for her to come back whether you threaten to kill yourself or someone else or your heart broken or dying or tricking her or whatever. Right now she is feeling so much relief to get rid of you! Read Smokeys stories. Or this is a regular breakup where she just can't deal with you but still loves you. Blow her off ignore her treat her like you never cared and she will come back soon. Either way relax relax relax!! Take a step out of your body and look at yourself... going crazy right! what would you tell a good friend of yours? Forget her there are tons of girls ect.. just stay away from her or she will be gone forever. You have in your mind right now if you don't strike while the iron is hot you are gonna lose her forever. Feelings dont' fade over night and she is no different. You don't have any kind of special circumstance like all of us believe when we first come on here. Then we start to realize that people are generally the same. yes woman tend to fall for this "get your ex back" especially if theyre young. but its not always about getting someone back, its about keeping them, and you need to understand what went wrong to fix it. "if its worth fixing" but theres no way near the successrate you read on their pages. its just a way to sell. they are copying eachother and tells you its their own method. and if it is gigs. theres no timeline that says 8 months. it could be weeks years whatever. and it could also be a huge problem, gigs is another made up word so we can say, she thought it would be better on the other side. but that doesnt solve the problem. she feels something was wrong, in other words theres someone who will make them happier, and even if she comes back. it doesnt have to be because she love you, it could be because she couldnt find anyone else and started to feel lonely. some people dont know that theyre just lonely. one week ago i said to myself, i dont want my ex back. right now i dont know if i still love her.
maryslamb Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I think she definately got the message. You said it yourself ' she texts you out the blue??? I don't think so? |he wanted to see if you would confess to sending it or knowing about if someone sent it. But if she knows how you speak, and write I'm sure she knows its you. And if it so happens she did send you a message out the blue, then I seems like the purpose is to let you know she's moved on. Why else would she be speaking of another guy. Maybe its her way to let you down in a less painful way, and makes it seem like its ok for you you to see/date other girls. Next time, write an email but don't send it.. it helps writing down how you feel. I , myslef am still going n/c for 3 weeks and as much as I have broke down, and cried to friends. Their reaction has always been to call the ex or email him and let him know how much I'm hurting. But I wouldn't allow it. 1 it looks pathetic, 2 its seems like I can't stand on my own 2 feet and be a woman, and confess my feelings. 3) it seems like I'm putting my friends up to it, to see where his feelings is. hoping, you start to take this time for yourself. N/c will be hard, but muvh needed. Don't hang on to someone who don't want to be with you.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 Sky you are in absolute panic mode! STOP. Look go on google and just look up things like I dumped my boyfriend and I want him back. Things like that just google it and you will get to read millions of stories. The one thing that keeps popping up is I dumped him and he didn't even seem like he cared... How do I get him back.... over and over again. That is how you get a girl back especially a younger woman. Think of this break up as a hall pass on the other end knowing that she WILL be back. Avoid her like the plague. it later. You are at a fork on the road. you can either follow in all of our footsteps and be here for 8 . Thank you leoc. Your right. I'm tryin to pull myself together. I did blow up her phone last night with texts that would push her away. But undone with that I'm going nc. If she comes back in afraid t will be too late but well see what happens. I'm letting to of her now and it's in. Y head that she's. It coming back. She deffinately does sound like she has gigs. I have to let go and talk to her keeps bringing back to square one. This hurts but it's her loss. Not mine....not mine. I'm stronger then this!!! I'm the better person not that other guy. He's just a muscle meat head I'm te one with the better future and I'm not one with the better heart!!!!!!
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 you are going to tell her that you are saying good bye, especially when she tells you theres other guys around. if she ask you about girls. dont just try, tell her, SHE got nothing to do with it. theres a weak behavior on both sides and will make her get the upper hand. dont fall for it. people are selfish after a breakup, but this is beyond selfish. tell her that your got time to think, and you believe this is probably the best for the both of you. then go nc, if she wants you back, she will contact you. by saying this wont make anything worse, trust me. its just you accepting her wishes. if she tells you she doesnt feel it, then its best for the both of you, cause its not a healthy relationship. if she's testing you, you need to have some selfrespect. if someone values a relationship they are willing to work for it, and not just dump you to see if youre the right one. if she comes crawling back, let her work for it. Yea I kept tellin her I don't want to hear about the other guy and I don't want to. BE talking about other girls. Do sound a little angry when said it Br she gotte point lol. Nc is once again initiated. I'm not deleting her fb cuz I just can't. She still has our pictures up so it's nice knowing that they still there. She deff has gigs there's no doubt about that. I guess well see what happens here on now. All I can do now is shake my head walk away and keep looking at the sky and movin forward.
Art_Critic Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 First off.. Art shakes his head.. what were you thinking.. then I hate to say this, but it sounds pretty obvious its you... Yeah... she so knows it was you.. without a doubt 100%. Fake account on FB and all that personal info in the letter.. You didn't need for her to know all those things. she already knows them.. I think you need to go NC and forget that about what you just did..
chados Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Yea I kept tellin her I don't want to hear about the other guy and I don't want to. BE talking about other girls. Do sound a little angry when said it Br she gotte point lol. Nc is once again initiated. I'm not deleting her fb cuz I just can't. She still has our pictures up so it's nice knowing that they still there. She deff has gigs there's no doubt about that. I guess well see what happens here on now. All I can do now is shake my head walk away and keep looking at the sky and movin forward. let her talk about the guys, dont act angry or sad. i know its hard, but she's just mushing it into your face. just sound happy and tell her that you agree with the breakup, im glad you brought it up and its for the best. if you ever want her back this is the best way to go. if you want to heal, this is the best way to go. dont show her you care about her dating, since she's probably just trying to make you jealous. and this shows that you dont accept her wishes to break up. just give her what she asked for. by breaking up she is telling you she dont need you, well dont be there for her. dont just go NC, let her know youre really okey, and the reason you arent talking to her is because you dont feel that you need to. not because youre miserable
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