Tp101 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 So it has almost been a year now since me and my ex wife has been seperated. The divorce was just now final last week but there is this girl that works in the same building but different department that I can't stop thinking about and I don't know why. I have notice her here before and never thought anything about it but 4 months ago I notice that she was looking at me and staring me in the eyes. It caught my attention so one day I introduce my self to her and told her that I have been noticing her around a lot more lately and she replied well I'm here to stay. The thing is that I don't see her often cause we miss each other most days here at the building. I want to ask her out and never could find the right opportunity because there is always people around and plus I'm nervous everytime I see her. So last week I tried calling her cubicle cause everyone here has the directory of all employees number so felt calling to ask her out for lunch was not a bad idea but she did not answer the phone. I know she was here but not sure she was at her desk. Would there be a reason that she did not answer? Should I leave a message next time? I don't know why I can't stop thinking about her and why I feel this way? I was not looking for anything and this feeling kind of just happened? What do y'all guys think I should do? I really like this person.
carhill Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Presuming it's acceptable to date a fellow employee and you're willing to accept any negative consequences of such pursuit, stop by her cubicle and ask her out in person.
Arabella Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 I actually really like your idea of calling her cube to ask her out to lunch. You've both noticed each other, so that seems totally appropriate given that you work in the same place. There could be many reasons why she did not answer. She could've been in the middle of finishing up something important, visiting the restroom, talking to her boss or a co-worker, etc. I rarely pick up the phone at work for these reasons. Don't sweat it, really. Just try again. No leaving messages though! If you leave a message, she'll have time to think about it. You want her genuine reaction when you invite her. You could also just ask her in person Best of luck!!
Author Tp101 Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 Thanks for the response. I do not feel comfortable walking by her cubicle. I really want to do it in person but I never get a chance to get her alone that's why I'm gonna try to call. I would also rather hope she answer so I don't have to leave a message but I do not want to keep calling when she is not answering the phone. I guess I'm going to take my chances and leave a message then. If she likes me than I hope the time for her to think dont change her mind. I feel like putting it in her hands so then I will know for sure if something is going to happen or not.
carhill Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 (edited) Why do you not feel comfortable walking by her cubicle and asking her out? I'm not challenging you here but rather seeking to understand the basis of your discomfort. I'll use an example: There's a lady I've long had my eye on. She works at our local post office and I've known her for 23 years. She's been married all that time but was apparently separated for a period last year but I was still married so I didn't wish to approach her since I saw her as a serious prospect. However, I was fully prepared to, if she were to be single, approach the counter and ask her out in person. We recently interacted in the back room (I had to carry a heavy package into the sorting area as she was without help) and saw that the 'whatever' was still there between us. The only thing stopping me? Wedding ring on her hand. Absent that, bing boom bang, either acceptance or rejection. Let your balls hang free and get moving. Edited to add that this is called 'sufficient motivation'. Even a careful and non-promiscuous man like myself, sufficiently motivated, will take risks. Up to you how you translate that dynamic to your own circumstances. Edited December 11, 2011 by carhill
Author Tp101 Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 Couple of reason for my discomfort is for 1 I am kinda shy when I like someone and also we have so many employees that I feel if I find her cubicle that it will be stalkerish and plus her co workers will be around also. I know that it be better to ask in person but man I don't feel comfortable going there. Thank you for your advice as it gives me something to think about.
carhill Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 You don't feel comfortable? Good. That means it matters. If you get hit by a bus next week, how will tomorrow look then? Get moving.
Author Tp101 Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 Well you do have a point there.
Author Tp101 Posted December 14, 2011 Author Posted December 14, 2011 So I finally bumped in to her yesterday and I asked her out for lunch and she says no because of the workplace. Bummer . I guess I had read this all wrong. I guess it was all just flirting that's it. I wonder if she was honest about the workplace cause it kinda sucks. I would rather hear I'm not interested or I am seeing someone.
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