TLCbear Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 This is more of a rant than anything, but would like others input or their experiences as well from both women and men. Recently met a guy about a month and a half ago, casually dating and getting to know each other. Anyway, came to see that this guy was terribly insecure. He basically started out by bragging on himself on how good of a man he was, how he was going to make me so happy, and that he knew I was a good woman. It got to a point where he was pushing for sex, a relationship, and wanting to come to my house. He would always ask questions like, "Why you don't want to be with me", Why can't I come to your house", "Do you miss me", "Are you seeing or talking to someone else besides me", "Have you been on dates with anyone else", "How you really feel about me"... Now while I can understand a person being infaturated, this guy was just too overbearing and pushy. He would ask these type of questions every other day and would get mad about the simplest things. He would blow up my phone and get mad if I didn't answer or text him right back. He had the nerve to tell me he thought I was hiding something because I would not invite him to my house, when infact, I told him from the beginning the reason behind it. He also said I was strange because I didn't always answer the phone when he called...helloooo I do have a life!!! He always wanted things his way, very idealistic, and would get mad as well if he didn't get his way, to put it short, he really acted like a whining, nagging female, lol. It seemed like everytime we talked on the phone, he just had to start drama, so I got tired of it and gave him a piece of my mind through text and that was it, the end of it for me, he is still texting me, but I have no intentions of contacting him back. My god, I have never seen a man this insecure! So desperate for a relationship and for someone to love him. Have anyone have an experience similiar, please post and add your input as well.
dispatch3d Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 are you dating me? More details would be great haha. I definitely do at least some of these things.
somedude81 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 He sounds like winner. How long have you been with him? I hope you realize that things will only get worse.
dispatch3d Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 have you had sex with him? my money is on no.
OnyxSnowfall Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 God yes :rolleyes: With all but one guy it had turned me off immensely and I never saw where it could have went.............. My most recent ex is the only man whom I humored that acted bizarrely needy and insecure initially (within the first year... it went away after that haha)... and that was because he has some very brilliant and rare qualities that were able to positively prevail over his sad and needy quirks and behaviors. He even threatened to kill himself a couple of times if I wouldn't be with him or see him --- I remember getting upset and explaining to him how foul that was each time and then ceasing contact with him for awhile after .......... but at some point I let him reel me back in (he would write me all kinds of letters and I was morbidly curious and would read them and then eventually want to talk to him again ugh). Just for the record, we didn't end well
Celestine Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Dear me, I dated two of them and it didn't end good... The most recent one, everytime we met he asked: "What do you think about me?", "Do you like me?", "Did I do anything wrong?". He was also stating a lot that he felt he did everything wrong. I tried to reassure him but it somehow wasn't enough. He went to get another girl while being with me. I guess he needed that to feel save in the sense of if one of us parted the other would still be there. Actually it worked, because I grabbed my things and got out but she's still there.. And that's the guy who used to tell me that love was always worth the risk. Oh well...
Author TLCbear Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 are you dating me? More details would be great haha. I definitely do at least some of these things. Lol, I don't think so or at least hope not...that would be very arkward. I really do not have more details than what I've stated, but all of this stuff came within 2 weeks after I met him. He was calling me his sweetheart, talking about marriage, he KNOWS I'm a good woman...when infact, he didn't even know me. I even asked him how he know I'm a good woman. The thing that got me was the way he kept asking me why he couldn't come to my house. I just didn't understand what was the big deal. I can understand if we were talking for 2 months plus. He said to make sure that I am his...what??? We were not in a relationship, we were just casually dating or hanging out sometimes. He was a nice looking guy but his personality was absolutely terrible.
Author TLCbear Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 He sounds like winner. How long have you been with him? I hope you realize that things will only get worse. We were not in a relationship, that is what he wanted though. We were just casually dating or hanging out...you know "the get to know you" stage. And that's why I stop talking to him because I know it would have been 10 times worst if we got in a relationship.
Author TLCbear Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 have you had sex with him? my money is on no. No and I'm glad I didn't, lol.
Author TLCbear Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 God yes :rolleyes: With all but one guy it had turned me off immensely and I never saw where it could have went.............. My most recent ex is the only man whom I humored that acted bizarrely needy and insecure initially (within the first year... it went away after that haha)... and that was because he has some very brilliant and rare qualities that were able to positively prevail over his sad and needy quirks and behaviors. He even threatened to kill himself a couple of times if I wouldn't be with him or see him --- I remember getting upset and explaining to him how foul that was each time and then ceasing contact with him for awhile after .......... but at some point I let him reel me back in (he would write me all kinds of letters and I was morbidly curious and would read them and then eventually want to talk to him again ugh). Just for the record, we didn't end well Thanks for your writing your experience, at least your guy had some type of positive quality, lol, this guy had a strong personality, or at least it seem that way, talking to him was like talking to 5 brick walls, it's amazing to me how he never seem to see if own flaws. He don't mind critizing others, but do not want to be critized. He had his own way of how things should be and would get mad if it didn't go his way. I actually feel sorry for him.
HughHardcastle Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 HLol, I don't think so or at least hope not...that would be very arkward. I really do not have more details than what I've stated, but all of this stuff came within 2 weeks after I met him. He was calling me his sweetheart, talking about marriage, he KNOWS I'm a good woman...when infact, he didn't even know me. I even asked him how he know I'm a good woman. The thing that got me was the way he kept asking me why he couldn't come to my house. I just didn't understand what was the big deal. I can understand if we were talking for 2 months plus. He said to make sure that I am his...what??? We were not in a relationship, we were just casually dating or hanging out sometimes. He was a nice looking guy but his personality was absolutely terrible.Well at least we know now why you gave him at least 2 weeks worth of your time.
somedude81 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 We were not in a relationship, that is what he wanted though. We were just casually dating or hanging out...you know "the get to know you" stage. And that's why I stop talking to him because I know it would have been 10 times worst if we got in a relationship. Smart. You did the right thing.
Author TLCbear Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 Dear me, I dated two of them and it didn't end good... The most recent one, everytime we met he asked: "What do you think about me?", "Do you like me?", "Did I do anything wrong?". He was also stating a lot that he felt he did everything wrong. I tried to reassure him but it somehow wasn't enough. He went to get another girl while being with me. I guess he needed that to feel save in the sense of if one of us parted the other would still be there. Actually it worked, because I grabbed my things and got out but she's still there.. And that's the guy who used to tell me that love was always worth the risk. Oh well... Thanks for posting your experience as well. The reassurance is sooo draining. I got so tired of the constant questions and it was always "Why this", "Why that", "Do you", "Are you"....and the trust issues...I have never had a guy I just met worrying about whether I'm talking to other guys. It's like he didn't believe anything I said to him. If he text me and I don't text back within 5 minutes, he will text again. But when he is mad about something and I text him, he will ignore me. That guy has some serious issues.
Author TLCbear Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 Well at least we know now why you gave him at least 2 weeks worth of your time. All I got to say, after meeting a quite a few guys and the attraction wasn't mutual, it was refreshing to meet finally meet someone where the attraction was mutual. He wasn't all of that, but I was attractive to him and he was to me. The first week was great, but I knew something was off because of way he was talking about himself (how good of man he was and how he treat a woman, blah blah) as if he was overcompensating for something.
Imajerk17 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 This is more of a rant than anything, but would like others input or their experiences as well from both women and men. Recently met a guy about a month and a half ago, casually dating and getting to know each other. Anyway, came to see that this guy was terribly insecure. He basically started out by bragging on himself on how good of a man he was, how he was going to make me so happy, and that he knew I was a good woman. It got to a point where he was pushing for sex, a relationship, and wanting to come to my house. He would always ask questions like, "Why you don't want to be with me", Why can't I come to your house", "Do you miss me", "Are you seeing or talking to someone else besides me", "Have you been on dates with anyone else", "How you really feel about me"... Now while I can understand a person being infaturated, this guy was just too overbearing and pushy. He would ask these type of questions every other day and would get mad about the simplest things. He would blow up my phone and get mad if I didn't answer or text him right back. He had the nerve to tell me he thought I was hiding something because I would not invite him to my house, when infact, I told him from the beginning the reason behind it. He also said I was strange because I didn't always answer the phone when he called...helloooo I do have a life!!! He always wanted things his way, very idealistic, and would get mad as well if he didn't get his way, to put it short, he really acted like a whining, nagging female, lol. It seemed like everytime we talked on the phone, he just had to start drama, so I got tired of it and gave him a piece of my mind through text and that was it, the end of it for me, he is still texting me, but I have no intentions of contacting him back. My god, I have never seen a man this insecure! So desperate for a relationship and for someone to love him. Have anyone have an experience similiar, please post and add your input as well. You're an idiot for putting up with this for so long and not running. EDIT: I do give you credit for FINALLY breaking things off with him though. Seriously, you're the one who is choosing to keep seeing him, despite all these red flags. Can't you find anyone better?
Author TLCbear Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 You're an idiot for putting up with this for so long and not running. EDIT: I do give you credit for FINALLY breaking things off with him though. Seriously, you're the one who is choosing to keep seeing him, despite all these red flags. Can't you find anyone better? Wow, I'm an idiot, lol, I had my reasons for continuing to talk to him, I'm just ranting about how insecure he was. I wasn't on here looking for advise or sympathy, just other experiences because I was just curious to see if anyone have dealt with something similar. And by the way, I can always find someone better if i choose to.
spice4life Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 This is more of a rant than anything, but would like others input or their experiences as well from both women and men. Recently met a guy about a month and a half ago, casually dating and getting to know each other. Anyway, came to see that this guy was terribly insecure. He basically started out by bragging on himself on how good of a man he was, how he was going to make me so happy, and that he knew I was a good woman. It got to a point where he was pushing for sex, a relationship, and wanting to come to my house. He would always ask questions like, "Why you don't want to be with me", Why can't I come to your house", "Do you miss me", "Are you seeing or talking to someone else besides me", "Have you been on dates with anyone else", "How you really feel about me"... Now while I can understand a person being infaturated, this guy was just too overbearing and pushy. He would ask these type of questions every other day and would get mad about the simplest things. He would blow up my phone and get mad if I didn't answer or text him right back. He had the nerve to tell me he thought I was hiding something because I would not invite him to my house, when infact, I told him from the beginning the reason behind it. He also said I was strange because I didn't always answer the phone when he called...helloooo I do have a life!!! He always wanted things his way, very idealistic, and would get mad as well if he didn't get his way, to put it short, he really acted like a whining, nagging female, lol. It seemed like everytime we talked on the phone, he just had to start drama, so I got tired of it and gave him a piece of my mind through text and that was it, the end of it for me, he is still texting me, but I have no intentions of contacting him back. My god, I have never seen a man this insecure! So desperate for a relationship and for someone to love him. Have anyone have an experience similiar, please post and add your input as well. Hahaha! Too funny. Nice rant. Can't say I've exprienced it though.
dispatch3d Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 soooo if I follow you correctly, he was super insecure, and overly critical of others, and couldn't handle criticism, yet you aren't talking any about what you did wrong? His first cllllleeeaaarrr mistake was pandering to your needs. He should have been way more unavailable, canceled dates, and what else do the successful guys do, ignore you unless he's having sex with you. Then he'd at least have sex lol. getting mad when you take a longtime to text back. yuck guys that like you.
LZ2000 Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 (edited) I never spoke to my ex-girlfriend after I felt all the things she has done thus far was only to manipulate and control me. And I just left her. At times during our relationship, I was attentive and sensitive to her needs, wants, difficulties......after all, we did talked a whole lot about ourselves. Perhaps I even crossed over the border which separated level headedness with irrationality many times back and forth, making myself look like an insecure man. But when the signs of insincerity and deliberate emotional manipulation became more self-evident and impossible to ignore, everything collapsed and is forfeited. I decided I had enough. And I didn't even bother to tell her we've broken up. Edited December 12, 2011 by LZ2000
Author TLCbear Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 soooo if I follow you correctly, he was super insecure, and overly critical of others, and couldn't handle criticism, yet you aren't talking any about what you did wrong? The only thing I'm guilty of is not texting or answering every call within a couple of minutes. Most of the time, when he text me, I'm usually at work, so therefore, I can't text him right back. When he calls (my home number) alot of times, I'm usually sleep or not at home. Alot of times when I text him, he text back within a minute, which tells me he has no life. All I wanted was for him to relax and enjoy the time we had together, but he could not do that, he was sooo uptight and always wanted things his way. His first cllllleeeaaarrr mistake was pandering to your needs. He should have been way more unavailable, canceled dates, and what else do the successful guys do, ignore you unless he's having sex with you. Then he'd at least have sex lol. I don't think he was pandering to my needs at all...however, I do believe he was pandering to his own needs. He seemed quite selfish to me, always pushing for what he wanted and never respecting my wishes. I agree, he should have been more unavailable. He did not have any male friends because he didn't want them pondering around his woman. He had been single for 5 months, so I can understand he wanting a female companion or a committed relationship, but what I didn't understand was what's the big rush?
Author TLCbear Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 I never spoke to my ex-girlfriend after I felt all the things she has done thus far was only to manipulate and control me. And I just left her. At times during our relationship, I was attentive and sensitive to her needs, wants, difficulties......after all, we did talked a whole lot about ourselves. Perhaps I even crossed over the border which separated level headedness with irrationality many times back and forth, making myself look like an insecure man. But when the signs of insincerity and deliberate emotional manipulation became more self-evident and impossible to ignore, everything collapsed and is forfeited. I decided I had enough. And I didn't even bother to tell her we've broken up. Thanks for posting your experience!
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