ZimboGon Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Well, my friend suffered a devastating break-up about 4 months ago. I was there for him every step of the way, doing whatever i could to cheer him up. I was friends with her, as well but i easily dumped all contact with her after what she did to him. So lately, she and i have been contacting each other. She's coming into town for christmas, and she wants to meet up. The thing is, my friend is really bitter about the whole thing and doesn't want me to talk to her. He says he is mostly over her, going on with his own life he just says he feels he never reached closure (They haven't spoken since the day of the break-up) She however seems to have some feelings for him that were unresolved. Whenever he posts something happy to facebook, it makes her upset. Not really sure what that means, but... Would it be wrong for me and her to hook up? I mean, i just got out of a bad break-up myself and this could be just what i need. Haha.
ScienceGal Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 There is no "lol" or "haha" about this. What a horrible thing to consider. I'm glad you're not my friend.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Laughing the f*** out loud. I hope your finger breaks through your toilet paper.
The Tiger Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 I hope she's just using you to re-connect with her ex, you dick!
xxoo Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 This is one of those "if you have to ask....." questions. I think you already know the answer. I hope your finger breaks through your toilet paper. :lmao:
ditzchic Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Well, my friend suffered a devastating break-up about 4 months ago. I was there for him every step of the way, doing whatever i could to cheer him up. I was friends with her, as well but i easily dumped all contact with her after what she did to him. So lately, she and i have been contacting each other. She's coming into town for christmas, and she wants to meet up. The thing is, my friend is really bitter about the whole thing and doesn't want me to talk to her. He says he is mostly over her, going on with his own life he just says he feels he never reached closure (They haven't spoken since the day of the break-up) She however seems to have some feelings for him that were unresolved. Whenever he posts something happy to facebook, it makes her upset. Not really sure what that means, but... Would it be wrong for me and her to hook up? I mean, i just got out of a bad break-up myself and this could be just what i need. Haha. Can we post this in the "Can Men and Women Really Be Friends" thread??
Nexus One Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 (edited) One time my best friend broke up with a girl and one week after that she had a new boyfriend. And since I saw his ex regularly on my way to university I offered him to take a look for him regarding what kind of guy she now was with. Upon me offering that he reacted VERY agitated. He really wanted me to stay away from her. I felt offended. Because he was implying I would now go after his ex or something, which I wouldn't have done, but he didn't trust me with the situation and that's what offended me, because back then we knew each other for over 10 years and he knew I never pulled anything like that on him or anyone else for that matter, yet despite that he wanted me to stay away from her, which I did. I also felt like I made a mistake regarding that, I should have just never even offered to come near his ex. I respect other guys their "territory" so to speak, but I feel I had some sort of lapse of judgement in that case, I didn't think it through, I should have known it was a sensitive subject to him. My best friend not trusting me in that situation, despite my clean record and me having NO intention whatsoever to go after his ex, did not sit well with me. I was really disappointed he didn't trust me with that even after 10 years. And even though this happened years ago, it still stings. We're still best/good friends though. He does no longer want a relationship. I think it was the experience with that girl that did so much damage that he gave up on wanting a relationship. He wanted a child with her, yet she was able to break up and move on just one week after they broke up. That's bound to hurt. I think he took it very heavily. So my advice to you, is to stay out of your friend's territory. There are more fish in the sea, you don't have to hit on his ex. Take your friend's feelings into consideration, it's the decent thing to do. Edited December 11, 2011 by Nexus One
MGD3 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Well, my friend suffered a devastating break-up about 4 months ago. I was there for him every step of the way, doing whatever i could to cheer him up. I was friends with her, as well but i easily dumped all contact with her after what she did to him. So lately, she and i have been contacting each other. She's coming into town for christmas, and she wants to meet up. The thing is, my friend is really bitter about the whole thing and doesn't want me to talk to her. He says he is mostly over her, going on with his own life he just says he feels he never reached closure (They haven't spoken since the day of the break-up) She however seems to have some feelings for him that were unresolved. Whenever he posts something happy to facebook, it makes her upset. Not really sure what that means, but... Would it be wrong for me and her to hook up? I mean, i just got out of a bad break-up myself and this could be just what i need. Haha. Why would you even be considering the girl if you were truly a "best friend" to the guy? Knowing he is bitter and doesn't want you to talk to her. She is trying to get back at him for one and two, how many women are out here in the world to date but how many "true" best friends do we have and can make? Think about it for real.
DearAbby Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 See this is messed up. It is the whole excitement of doing something you know is so wrong. But honestly, a little fun, for something so awful. You are really awful to be considering this. Think of all the harm you will cause your friend. And, then you have to live with this while you talk to your friend, acting like nothing happened. NOT COOL
dasein Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 There are some exes of best friends who are lifetime off limits, some who are 5 years off limits. None are only 4 months off limits.
ChessPieceFace Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 99.9% of the time if someone asks "Is it wrong to ..." then it's wrong. Why they all bother asking, I don't know. Wasting our time looking for reassurance to do whatever activity they already know is wrong, to ease their conscience. And then proceed to do it anyway regardless of what we say. Well, my friend suffered a devastating break-up about 4 months ago. I was there for him every step of the way, doing whatever i could to cheer him up. I was friends with her, as well but i easily dumped all contact with her after what she did to him. So lately, she and i have been contacting each other. She's coming into town for christmas, and she wants to meet up. The thing is, my friend is really bitter about the whole thing and doesn't want me to talk to her. BZZZZZZT. You already have your answer. Or were you looking for a loophole? "He said not to talk to her, he didn't say anything about silently putting my penis inside her!"
kaylan Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 REAL friends know that a friends ex of any kind is off limits unless the friend says its ok. And sometimes even when they say its ok, its sometimes just a test to see how loyal you are. Any serious ex though that any real feelings were there for is off limits forever imo. If someone d!cked my friend over and broke his/her heart, I always immediately shun them. I dont even consider what you are considering OP. Low blow brah.
Imageiko Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 If you're looking for a way to have 1 less friend then I'd say go for it!
scuba_dooby_doo Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Dude that is horrible. One of my housemates dated my ex while I was away on a trip 2-3 months after we broke up from a 5 year relationship and it was absolutely devastating to me. I couldn't sleep for a week (literally I did not sleep at all for a week) I was so stressed. It is horrible you are considering doing that just for sex. What kind of friend are you? Also both her and the former roommate ended up feeling horrible about it afterwards. They only dated for a few days or a week, something like that. It ruined my friendship with both of them, which was really really sad. It also pushed me into depression, so no you shouldn't ****ing do it if you have any respect for either of them or yourself.
Recommended Posts