Deadmeat Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Hey guys, I'll try and keep things short and brief. Basically I started dating one of my co-workers who had just gotten out of a serious relationship 2 months prior. Our first date we had a great time getting to know each other, talking about random things, and even got physical and kissed at night. We had a small discussion in the end and it turns out she's interested in more. So we see each other for about a week and during this time we would hang out at nights a lot (mostly to walk our dogs) and each night we'd kiss goodnight. One particular night I notice she's a little hesitant and I ask her "what's up" to which she replied "nothing". The next morning I get a lenghty text from her saying that she was still hurting over her ex and still isn't ready to jump to another ship at the moment. I discuss with her and I tell her that I'm a patient guy and that I could wait (I know this is bad but that's what happened) The next night, right after we finish walking our dogs I go in for the kiss again and this time she's reluctant and backs off. We then have another lengthy discussion regarding what she was looking for and what our expectations are. Pretty much re-iterating that she wasn't ready for a relations and how i would wait until she was ready blah blah blah. After going home to think about our discussion I realize that I definitely may have come off to strong and have caused her to back off a bit. Right now I've decided that I'm not going to text her or call her and stop our dog walking for at least a week. I'll still be seeing her at work but I'm going to try and keep things normal and our chats brief and work-related. What else do you guys think about the situation? I really like this girl and I can definitely see myself with her, at the same time I understand that she can't commit to anything yet, although i know for a fact that she's interested.
spiderowl Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 She's not interested in taking it further at the moment. She's pretty much said this and you've said you'll wait. But, she may be thinking deep down that she's not interested in taking it further at all, ever. Something may have turned her off or she may have heard from or heard about her ex and it's triggered a renewal of hurtful feelings. Perhaps she's realised she's not ready for dating yet. I think what you've done is a good idea. Take the pressure off her. Perhaps even tell her that you can see she is not ready for dating and you'll go back to dating other women as that seems the most sensible thing at the moment. Tell her you'd be happy to hear from her and stay friends, but only maintain minimal contact. The reason I suggest all this is because it: - takes the pressure off her - makes her realise you won't hang around like a lovelorn puppy - shows her you are taking her seriously and have enough pride that you'll go after what you need and are not just waiting around for her - shows her you also realise that when exs still feature, it's a serious matter and you don't expect her to have got over him that fast. If it truly is that she's still got feelings for her ex, this is the best thing for you. It gives you space from her to seek what you need. If she is using it as an excuse because she felt pressured, then she may rethink the situation once the pressure is removed. If she has just lost interest and feels you are not the one for her, it gives you chance to meet someone else. Whatever, it has the potential for turning the situation into a positive one for you at some point in the future. Meanwhile, go and date other women and don't bank on anything with this girl.
Author Deadmeat Posted December 12, 2011 Author Posted December 12, 2011 So i stopped by at work to pick up a few things and she was working that day. Ran into her in the staff room. Exchanged brief pleasantries and we both went in our merry way. I stayed behind to chat with another coworker for about half an hour and she walked by without making eye contact or anything. On my way out of the building as I'm walking out she doesn't make eye contact either so i don't even get to say goodbye or at least smile. Things are definitely awkward now...
Shaun-Dro Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 So i stopped by at work to pick up a few things and she was working that day. Ran into her in the staff room. Exchanged brief pleasantries and we both went in our merry way. I stayed behind to chat with another coworker for about half an hour and she walked by without making eye contact or anything. On my way out of the building as I'm walking out she doesn't make eye contact either so i don't even get to say goodbye or at least smile. Things are definitely awkward now... To hell with this dame! She's playing games because she, like all the other women these days, don't know what the **** they want! Ignore her back and keep it moving. Stop being a nice guy already.
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