Moving on... 1 year...

[Bealena]

I joined LS a couple of years ago, making a few posts here and there. Then came back recently under a new name. I joined because I was involved with a MM and didn't know where to turn to.

 

I wanted to post my story because it's some good news amongst a lot of negativity on this forum. But that's the way I guess it goes in the OM/OW forum.

 

A brief history: We became friends when I was 18, we started a long distance affair a week before his wedding when I was 21 and him 25. I'm now 30 and it's a whole year today since I last saw him and 9 months since I last spoke to him.

 

In between all that time 'together' I had a couple of relationships but never cheated. I suppose you could call it cheating; he was always in the background somewhere!

 

Anyway; I had many issues to deal with apart from being an 'OW' and ended up in therapy for on/off three years. In short it's over (I ended it) and I can't believe I spent so long 'chasing' something. I guess it was self respect or something. I can't believe I put myself through that. I've been properly single for a few years because I knew I couldn't date anyone with him on the scene. I'm just about ready to have a 'proper' relationship now I feel I have 'cleansed' myself of him.

 

I've heard the word 'fog' being banded around a lot here and that word describes what was in my mind. I lost control and now I've regained it.

 

If you're in pain, I promise you it gets better. You have to be strong and it definitely gets better, however slow the process might be.

 

God bless.

x

[Gentlegirl]

It has beena long up and down journey for you.

 

I do hope you find another relationship one day, and some true happiness. Unfortunately we can never make up for the time wasted and lost on the A.

 

I try to look at it as a lesson that I learned and will carry with me for the rest of my life.

 

GG

[SidLyon]

...I wanted to post my story because it's some good news amongst a lot of negativity on this forum. But that's the way I guess it goes in the OM/OW forum.

 

...I'm just about ready to have a 'proper' relationship now I feel I have 'cleansed' myself of him.

 

...I lost control and now I've regained it.

 

If you're in pain, I promise you it gets better. You have to be strong and it definitely gets better, however slow the process might be.

 

God bless.

x

 

Thank you for posting this.

 

So many times on the OW/OM forum it's assumed that the only "good" outcome can be when the OP establishes a "proper" relationship with the MP and the BS is left behind.

 

There are other "good" outcomes besides this including an OP successfully moving on with their life, a successfully reconciliation of the marriage or the married people moving on independently of each other and any APs.

 

Some outcomes are "good" for some parties in the triangle (or more) but not others.

 

Best of luck to you and I hope things get better for you.

[pureinheart]

Thank you for posting this.

 

So many times on the OW/OM forum it's assumed that the only "good" outcome can be when the OP establishes a "proper" relationship with the MP and the BS is left behind.

 

There are other "good" outcomes besides this including an OP successfully moving on with their life, a successfully reconciliation of the marriage or the married people moving on independently of each other and any APs.

 

Some outcomes are "good" for some parties in the triangle (or more) but not others.

 

Best of luck to you and I hope things get better for you.

 

This is concerning any relationship I was in...thinking I would not be able to go on without "him" (whoever that was at the time).

 

With where I am at today, and what I have seen...soooo many in hardship of all different sorts, a good outcome in anything IMO is a roof over your head, creature comforts (if possible), health and food to eat....to me this is being the richest person in the world with no problems per se.

 

God giving me another breath really makes me happy...to run on the treadmill after abusing my body so terribly in the past, the ability to eat fruits and veggies, etc. ....an infinite list of things to be thankful for.