MissVegas Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 To make a long story short, I was with a guy for over 4 years I started dating him when I was 18 when we broke up *i dumped him* last NYE because of him being immature, choosing drinking and friends over me time and time again, trust issues, disrespect, basically he just didn't care etc* anyways we stayed broken up for 4 months Jan-end of April and honestly I have never experienced such hell and pain in my life as those 4 months. I missed him so much, I hated myself, I was so lonely, I was full of anger and took it out on my parents, I just was a MESS. Like I woke up unhappy went to be unhappy. I got super healthy and lost a lot of weight through working out like crazy to try and make myself feel better but that lead to me to almost developing an eating disorder *still dealing with it*. Anyways we got back together in April and went on a Vacation and honestly things got better WAY better. He was trying, respecting me, making a ton of efforts and we were super happy. Like if it stayed like that I would be SOOO happy and secure!! However I found out in August that the profile he said he deleted on POF *from when we were broken up* was still indeed active and he was messaging girls asking to take them out and calling them sexy and stuff. He deleted it, promised it would never happen again and we went to a counseling session but the lady was really unhelpful and fake so we didn't go back. Anyways about 3 weeks ago I found out he had a POF profile again. Said looking for friends but status said single and I was cropped out of the photo with him. He said he's lonely he's not perfect and trying and did it because he was bored/lonely and is insecure/likes the attention. But I give him SO much attention I adore him and he KNOWS it. I We've been in limbo since. He deleted the profile immediately. He's been stressed with work so we did not work through anything or make any decisions he knows it wrong but has not provided me with the reassurance or support that I need.I always jumped to breaking up before so I was trying to see how things pan out and give it time to simmer...Anyways last night he went out and got really drunk and of course he went out with his friend who I KNOW/HAVE SEEN actively cheat on his girlfriend/bring girls home from the bar. I just was so upset because if he considered my feelings he'd know this is probably not a good idea to go out with this guy due to the situation we were in. However the guy had free hockey tickets so that probably lured him. Anyways I called it off today because I cannot believe he'd put himself in a situation like that after everything. I want to get married and be a wife someday but I fear this man just does not respect me and care or that I'm the one, The part that makes it hard is he claims I am the one he just does not know why he self sabotages some times. When we're together he's very loving. Basically I'm so scared to go through the pain and hell again. I'm scared to go back down the deep dark lonely hole since I never saw the light before. Especially at Christmas. Am I doing the right thing? Was/is there any hope for this at all?
BoredAgain Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 This seems to be a common issue whenever people get back together. The problem that split you guys up ("him being immature, choosing drinking and friends over me time and time again, trust issues, disrespect, basically he just didn't care etc") never actually got resolved. He continuously violates your trust by putting himself up on dating sites, and that's not okay. If you keep letting it slide, he'll just keep doing it. You'll just have to bite the bullet and plunge yourself into "the deep dark lonely hole." Trust me, once you get through it you'll come out happier and stronger.
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