lululucy Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 This explains why I can't understand guys on LS saying this -- men and women have such a different view on the topic.
Necromancer Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Yes...men and women can be just friends even if they are both straight. But its rare i think. They both need to find each other not physically attracive,which is is rare.......
somedude81 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Brilliant. Should be required viewing for all women. That straight guy friend that you spend all that time with, he wants to fu*k you. Even the ones in relationships have thought about it.
xxoo Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 That straight guy friend that you spend all that time with, he wants to fu*k you. Even the ones in relationships have thought about it. So what? Why does that mean friendship is not possible. Newflash--I've been sexually attracted to male friends (did not sleep with them, because I am married--and they are often in a relationship, too). I've even been sexually attracted to FEMALE friends. Why does sexual attraction mean friendship is not possible?
somedude81 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 So what? Why does that mean friendship is not possible. Newflash--I've been sexually attracted to male friends (did not sleep with them, because I am married--and they are often in a relationship, too). I've even been sexually attracted to FEMALE friends. Why does sexual attraction mean friendship is not possible? Because the friendship can't last when one person has feelings for the other. It puts too much strain on the friendship. I just had a two year friendship end with a girl that I really liked and considered a good friend. It took her a while but she realized that the friendship can't work because I like her and she couldn't reciprocate.
MaxNoob Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Because the friendship can't last when one person has feelings for the other. It puts too much strain on the friendship. So a bisexual person should just have no friends at all because she'll develop feelings for everyone she meets?
PhillyDude Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Me and this girl was platonic friends for 9 years and talked on the phone all the time. Keep in mind that a platonic friendship is a little different. 1. If you see each other it's only in public 2. You don't talk on the phone after midnight 3. There is no hitting on one another So that's why our friendship lasted 9 years. It ended after I was laid off and she complained about not getting a BONUS and I felt since i was jobless that her BONUS rant was a little inconsiderate
xxoo Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Because the friendship can't last when one person has feelings for the other. It puts too much strain on the friendship. I just had a two year friendship end with a girl that I really liked and considered a good friend. It took her a while but she realized that the friendship can't work because I like her and she couldn't reciprocate. This is only true if someone is being rejected as a romantic partner, and can't get past it. Sexual attraction between friends doesn't have to be a big deal like that, esp if both are in relationships (or at least dating others).
PhillyDude Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 So what? Why does that mean friendship is not possible. Newflash--I've been sexually attracted to male friends (did not sleep with them, because I am married--and they are often in a relationship, too). I've even been sexually attracted to FEMALE friends. Why does sexual attraction mean friendship is not possible? Well that's the difference, you were already married so even though you were attracted to your male friends it didn't mean anything
Author lululucy Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 Sexual attraction is different from romantic feelings and I think that's where the real problem with platonic friendships lies. I only have one male friend with whom there hasn't been some sexual attraction from either of us, though I know a lot of my other male friends have had sexual impulses. I don't see why that should impede on a friendship. A rejected romantic proposal though, I could understand not wanting to be the girl's friend anymore. But I do have really close guy friends who I go to hockey games with (dutch), watch movies with, go to the bar with as their wingman.. the sexual attraction since it isn't acted on hasn't affected our friendship. Regardless, I really didn't think this sentiment from men was so widespread until I saw the video. I thought it was pretty isolated to LS before
Lonely Ronin Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Yes men & women can be friends. I'm single and I have several female friends that are single that I'm physically attracted to. If you can't be friends with someone just because your physically attracted to them, your either immature, or screwed up IMO. I would however say men & women can't be friends if one of them has a strong emotional attraction to the other.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Of course women love having good male "Friends", it means she doesn't have to find a balance between status/looks and intelligence, she can jump back and forth whenever she feels. From a male point of view, being a girls friend is never like having a male friend. Eventually, it always degenerates into becomming a womans boyfriend without any of the positive aspects of a romantic relationship (meanwhile some guy who doesn't give a **** but gets the kitty all to himself, applauds it when women have lots of male friends ).
Lonely Ronin Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Regardless, I really didn't think this sentiment from men was so widespread until I saw the video. I thought it was pretty isolated to LS before Look at who they interviewed, it's age group specific!
somedude81 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 This is only true if someone is being rejected as a romantic partner, and can't get past it. Sexual attraction between friends doesn't have to be a big deal like that, esp if both are in relationships (or at least dating others). In a situation where one is sexually attracted to the other, the day will come when one has to decide if they are going to accept or reject the other. Things are easier when both are in relationships. Though most likely, if the guy is single and looking, he has considered his friend, regardless if she is single or not.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Yes men & women can be friends. I'm single and I have several female friends that are single that I'm physically attracted to. If you can't be friends with someone just because your physically attracted to them, your either immature, or screwed up IMO. I would however say men & women can't be friends if one of them has a strong emotional attraction to the other. If you want to revel in your cuckoldry that's one thing, but are you seriously going to pretend it doesn't offend you when a woman you spend all your time with would rather sleep with a stranger ?
Author lululucy Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 Ronin, very true. I just meant I'd never heard ANYONE before coming on LS say that. Of course women love having good male "Friends", it means she doesn't have to find a balance between status/looks and intelligence, she can jump back and forth whenever she feels. From a male point of view, being a girls friend is never like having a male friend. Eventually, it always degenerates into becomming a womans boyfriend without any of the positive aspects of a romantic relationship (meanwhile some guy who doesn't give a **** but gets the kitty all to himself, applauds it when women have lots of male friends ). Wolf, I think you know some pretty crappy girls. Don't judge all of us by them, I swear we aren't all like that. None of my male friends are like my boyfriend, they don't pay for things and I don't phone them crying about men (with the one exception of when my ex told me he cheated and I wanted to go out drinking -- drinking, not crying). I listen to their girl problems and give them advice, tell them how to ditch the b-tch if she sounds crazy .. I know I'm not the kind of friend that's going to tell locker room stories but I completely disagree with your classification of male-female friendships.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I would have to ask your male friends their point of view . Just so you know, no girl who plays the "friend" game admits to it, some honestly don't think they're doing anything wrong. Maybe its the girls I know, but all the men I talk to have the same exact complaints, even on this internet forum.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 If you want to revel in your cuckoldry that's one thing, but are you seriously going to pretend it doesn't offend you when a woman you spend all your time with would rather sleep with a stranger ? First off, I'm not spending all my time with these women. Secondly, I'm not going to sleep with a women, just because I'm physically attracted to her. If all we have in common is physical attraction, and the ability to chit chat at happy hour, perusing her isn't worth my time.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 First off, I'm not spending all my time with these women. Secondly, I'm not going to sleep with a women, just because I'm physically attracted to her. If all we have in common is physical attraction, and the ability to chit chat at happy hour, perusing her isn't worth my time. I don't get it don juan, if you are physically attracted to a woman and like her personality enough to be her friend, why wouldn't you date her unless she didn't reciprocate? I don't know about you guys, but I like spending time with my FRIENDS (real friends, not cuckolding women). A person you chit chat with at happy hour isn't your friend.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I don't get it don juan, if you are physically attracted to a woman and like her personality enough to be her friend, why wouldn't you date her unless she didn't reciprocate? Because I don't like certain parts of her personality. For example one women I know is absolutely gorgeous, and Hilarious as hell. At times she has made me laugh so hard I couldn't breath. However, a relationship with her, even a FWB one wouldn't work, because she is just to clingy for me.
Author lululucy Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 Yeah, I have to agree with Ronin again! I have actual meaningful friendships with these guys. We are REAL friends, whether or not I'm in a relationship. I can't quite understand what is the difference in your relationships that makes it impossible to be ACTUAL friends. To me there's more than just physical attraction and liking someone's personality to make a relationship -- it's the part you can't pin down. It sounds like if you're spending all your time with these women, they're already more than just friends. You don't spend all your time with male friends, so spending all your time with a friend just because she's female is already putting pressure on.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Because I don't like certain parts of her personality. For example one women I know is absolutely gorgeous, and Hilarious as hell. At times she has made me laugh so hard I couldn't breath. However, a relationship with her, even a FWB one wouldn't work, because she is just to clingy for me. Yeah right. Admit it Ronin, you're vibing a rejection from her and telling yourself that she's too clingy. How do you know a girl is clingy if you don't spend much 1 on 1 time with them? Character traits like that take time to come out.
LittleTiger Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 So what? Why does that mean friendship is not possible. Newflash--I've been sexually attracted to male friends (did not sleep with them, because I am married--and they are often in a relationship, too). I've even been sexually attracted to FEMALE friends. Why does sexual attraction mean friendship is not possible? This. ^^^ Put very simply, friends are generally people you like, respect, trust and enjoy spending time with - although obviously there are many different definitions. So how exactly does sexual attraction get in the way of friendship? Sex permeates every aspect of society and our lives - as mature adults we choose whether to act on any sexual feelings we have or keep them to ourselves. If one of our friends is not available as a parther because they are attached to someone else, or not sexually interested, those feelings get put to one side - c'est la vie. If the friend is someone you value in your life it seems rather ridiculous to discount them as a friend just because you find them physically attractive. In fact I didn't see any of the men in the video saying they wanted to end their friendship with the object of their affection.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 ^ If it wasn't for sex, most men wouldn't talk to you. What's the point in having a less interesting and unreliable version of a male friend?
Author lululucy Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 Because I don't like certain parts of her personality. For example one women I know is absolutely gorgeous, and Hilarious as hell. At times she has made me laugh so hard I couldn't breath. However, a relationship with her, even a FWB one wouldn't work, because she is just to clingy for me. EXACTLY. I have a ton of friends who are typical athlete jerks, treat the girls they date like crap and so I would never in a million years date them. But they'll still come by the bar to watch hockey with me if I'm bored, or be there at 3am to give me a ride home if I'm too drunk to drive or whatever. We are just -friends-.
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