lululucy Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Now ladies, I would take threads like these with a grain of salt, and with some compassion. Many of the male posters here are really Lovable Losers who don't have much game nor much ambition. Their idea of "going for it" is just to sit around and whine. You DON'T want to end up with a guy like this. I try to see both sides of it when I read threads like these but sometimes it's just impossible without explicitly stating exactly what you did. There are a lot of genuinely wonderful men who can't find a woman but there are also a lot of bitter, overcompensating men who don't realise this comes across quite easily to other people. I hope that the guys here on LS who deserve to find someone do, I hate to have them lumped in with the second group of j-offs.
phineas Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Amen. I know there are lots of these kind of women out there but I sometimes feel like posters on LS are only going after the vapid, shallow girls. Not that my friends aren't incredibly attractive, but there's just way more to life than posting a picture in a bikini and waiting for the ego boost. I get my ego boost from finishing my degree and getting promotions, having meaningful friendships.. not that someone complimenting me isn't going to make me feel good, because that's obviously the case. But I've deleted people from my friend's list for being that kind of empty headed person. If there really are as many of these kind of people out there as LS posters seem to imply there are, I am really glad I have the friends I have. On the flip side I have ZERO player type friends. I used to know guys that "hit & quit" but their not friends & their not part of my social circle & haven't been for many yrs. But man I meet A LOT of women that just want to waste a guys time.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 female here, I'd say men have it more difficult when it comes to dating. Mostly cause they are expected to pursue, plan and pay. I wouldn't want to have to do all that! Thank you!
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Interesting, but I'm not sure I agree. In a small town, those easygoing women who would take the time to get to know you, are all married to the guys they already took the time to get to know--namely, their high-school and college sweethearts! I mean, there are a lot of great women but most of them already have rings on their fingers. There are surely exceptions--great small-town girls who are single--but they can be hard to find. (The flip side of this is that many women don't get asked out in small towns, because we men assume that you are already taken!) Meeting women in big cities, ESPECIALLY New York, is so much easier. All you have to do is talk to them. (During the day that is, not in a bar at night where there are more men than women.) The few women of quality here in New York city are all taken too. That's how it is everywhere. Only here it's worse, because in the even that you actually manage to nab a great girl, you will have infinite horny, lonely male vultures flying around your relationship the entire time, waiting for the slightest issue to come up so they can pounce on your woman. I wouldn't mind marrying my "high school sweetheart" if I had one either. I'd be married to like 4 women right now if I had done that The biggest issue men (atleast me) have in big cities is creating rapport with women. It's just impossible to find out if a woman would be compatible with me or share my interests when all you have to go by is cold reading. When rapport is impossible or difficult to achieve, women just go for looks and money. Not saying women in small towns don't have some of that too, but I think if girls spent quality 1 on 1 time with me without having that time is money attitude because they've got 1,000 guys in line waiting for their turn, a lot of them would like me. It's easy to fall into the grass is much greener mindset when you're living a city with millions of wealthy, famous model people. In small towns, most women are already married with children by the age of 25, or are in relationships. Something about they better stick to their Highschool sweethearts before they loose them after graduation. I'm surprised some still stay together when they split and go off to separate colleges, talk about temptation. lol [/Quote] That would've been ideal for me actually. I hate "dating" and see it as a chore, if I were married by now it would've taken a huge burden off my back.
Imajerk17 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I try to see both sides of it when I read threads like these but sometimes it's just impossible without explicitly stating exactly what you did. There are a lot of genuinely wonderful men who can't find a woman but there are also a lot of bitter, overcompensating men who don't realise this comes across quite easily to other people. I hope that the guys here on LS who deserve to find someone do, I hate to have them lumped in with the second group of j-offs. Well, I would say that most of the guys on Loveshack who come on here and whine are decent people, but they're, well, Lovable Losers. They would treat a woman well, but women seem to turn them down for someone else, and the guys on here really don't get why. They're confused and upset about being turned down like this, as it does sting their egos and a basic need of theirs is going unmet. So they come on here and whine. The thing is, the whiners on here don't have much ambition or creativity. They won't approach women during the day or get themselves some more exciting hobbies. They lead their boring lives and wait for some girl to come along to give them meaning, and then they wonder why that isn't enough for the women they meet. Lovable Losers.
Imajerk17 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 The few women of quality here in New York city are all taken too. That's how it is everywhere. Only here it's worse, because in the even that you actually manage to nab a great girl, you will have infinite horny, lonely male vultures flying around your relationship the entire time, waiting for the slightest issue to come up so they can pounce on your woman. I wouldn't mind marrying my "high school sweetheart" if I had one either. I'd be married to like 4 women right now if I had done that The biggest issue men (atleast me) have in big cities is creating rapport with women. It's just impossible to find out if a woman would be compatible with me or share my interests when all you have to go by is cold reading. When rapport is impossible or difficult to achieve, women just go for looks and money. Not saying women in small towns don't have some of that too, but I think if girls spent quality 1 on 1 time with me without having that time is money attitude because they've got 1,000 guys in line waiting for their turn, a lot of them would like me. It's easy to fall into the grass is much greener mindset when you're living a city with millions of wealthy, famous model people. That would've been ideal for me actually. I hate "dating" and see it as a chore, if I were married by now it would've taken a huge burden off my back. New York City actually has SIGNIFICANTLY more single women than men. Look that up. These women are earnestly looking for a great guy. If you're not having success, maybe there is something you could be doing differently?
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 New York City actually has SIGNIFICANTLY more single women than men. Look that up. These women are earnestly looking for a great guy. If you're not having success, maybe there is something you could be doing differently? It's a myth thats been busted years ago. There are significantly more single women than men...if you want to bang Bea Arthur. But for the rest of us under 70-crowd, single men heavily outnumber single women, especially males in our 20's. Explanation: 1) Undocumented aliens not counted in population analysis', where males heavily outnumber females, from East Asia and Mexico. 2) A handful of rich/amazing looking/famous males that are either dating 2-3 women at once, or stringing them along (and when women are chasing these unattainables, they get tunnel vision and arent interested in anyone else). 3) Men die earlier than women, starting in their 50's and up men die at a much faster rate which does indeed create singles, but I'm not into sleeping under rubber sheets or changing Depends (although I hear gum jobs feel amazing )
iris219 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 New York City actually has SIGNIFICANTLY more single women than men. Look that up. These women are earnestly looking for a great guy. If you're not having success, maybe there is something you could be doing differently? Yep. NYC is infamous for being a dating playground for men, leaving commitment minded women lonely and frustrated. I have two friends who recently moved from there because finding a relationship was impossible; guys there have way too many options. One of these friends just got engaged to the man who was her college BF. Our group of friends can’t figure out if she’s really in love or completely disillusioned by dating in NYC. I've lived in NYC. Dating was worse there than in the small town I currently reside because all I met were men with inflated egos who just wanted to sleep with me.
Woggle Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 NYC never used to be that bad for dating but recently it has been flooded by women wanting to emulate SATC. Native New York women are much better partners than women who moved there. If you can find yourself a neighborhood woman from one of the other boroughs you are lucky.
forms Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Well, I would say that most of the guys on Loveshack who come on here and whine are decent people, but they're, well, Lovable Losers. They would treat a woman well, but women seem to turn them down for someone else, and the guys on here really don't get why. They're confused and upset about being turned down like this, as it does sting their egos and a basic need of theirs is going unmet. So they come on here and whine. The thing is, the whiners on here don't have much ambition or creativity. They won't approach women during the day or get themselves some more exciting hobbies. They lead their boring lives and wait for some girl to come along to give them meaning, and then they wonder why that isn't enough for the women they meet. Lovable Losers. You could exchange 'he' for 'she' in this paragraph and it would be just as accurate.
somedude81 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Well, I would say that most of the guys on Loveshack who come on here and whine are decent people, but they're, well, Lovable Losers. They would treat a woman well, but women seem to turn them down for someone else, and the guys on here really don't get why. They're confused and upset about being turned down like this, as it does sting their egos and a basic need of theirs is going unmet. So they come on here and whine. The thing is, the whiners on here don't have much ambition or creativity. They won't approach women during the day or get themselves some more exciting hobbies. They lead their boring lives and wait for some girl to come along to give them meaning, and then they wonder why that isn't enough for the women they meet. Lovable Losers. Just how fruitful is approaching random women during the day? Getting "exciting hobbies" is going to have any affect at all.
Author irc333 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 ....some more exciting hobbies. This is really a matter of opinion, define "exciting" hobby, I might be partaking hobbies that might be considered "boring" to some, but not to others. Just okay to find someone of equal hobbies. Though, I'd be content in partaking in my hobbies that I have an interest in, and be happy at that, it's up to her if she wants to try it out herself, and I try hers out. If it's skydiving, sorry, I don't do that....oh wait, guess that makes me boring. I have approached my share of women, I have gone out with them occasionally, but I don't have several dates a month either. I think some here are misjudging those at having women accepting dates from guys like us who DO make an attempt at least to ask them out. But hey, at least I'm making an attempt to get out there.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 All the hobbies people pretentiously pass off as "exciting" are usually drab , sanitized adventures like skiing or even, yes, sky diving, are probably exciting for 5 minutes but its novelty wears off quickly. The guys who played Russian Roulette at the Hanoi Hilton, now that's an adventure.
Author irc333 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 All the hobbies people pretentiously pass off as "exciting" are usually drab , sanitized adventures like skiing or even, yes, sky diving, are probably exciting for 5 minutes but its novelty wears off quickly. The guys who played Russian Roulette at the Hanoi Hilton, now that's an adventure. Right, usually someone who puts an emphasis on having something exciting or placing an importance on it, unfortunately, bore easily as well. The idea of constantly keeping up ones interest can be problematic as well as stressful. Expecting to be kept entertained consistently. We're not magicians, at least they do a show for an hour , and it's over. Relationships last longer than parlor tricks. I've even seen some profiles of women who say, "Must be able to keep my interest" or "Are you up for a challenge?" These people are clearly to be avoided.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Right, usually someone who puts an emphasis on having something exciting or placing an importance on it, unfortunately, bore easily as well. The idea of constantly keeping up ones interest can be problematic as well as stressful. Expecting to be kept entertained consistently. We're not magicians, at least they do a show for an hour , and it's over. Relationships last longer than parlor tricks. I've even seen some profiles of women who say, "Must be able to keep my interest" or "Are you up for a challenge?" These people are clearly to be avoided. God I hate people like that. One girl who was my "friend" , but pretty much spent all her time at my place, one day I was exhausted from working a 11 hour shift on little sleep and when I get home she has the nerve to say "you're not funny tonight, BORING", couldn't believe my ears. I suppose we are expected to be their own personal comedian-slaves or magicians.
Lostinlife4now Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Feel the need to chime in here! OK?? I don't know how to pick a man AT ALL! I have been married twice, and only have had a handful of boyfriends, and now that I am in my EARLY 50's and not bad looking, and have an outgoing personality there is nothing out there that I want. Is that terrible to say? I haven't met the RIGHT ONE? Or is it me? I don't go out much because 1) I have gotten used to being at home and I like it, 2) don't feel much like getting to know someone else right now....It's been 4 years since my D and I have only been on 1 date...so be it...I guess 2 failed marriages have made me feel somewhat gunshy about dating again. I am in suburbia and everyone is either married or single women EVERYWHERE. Not too many nice single men....I think it gets MUCH harder when you get older for men and women, we just become more cynical as you age. Am I making any sense?
Author irc333 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 God I hate people like that. One girl who was my "friend" , but pretty much spent all her time at my place, one day I was exhausted from working a 11 hour shift on little sleep and when I get home she has the nerve to say "you're not funny tonight, BORING", couldn't believe my ears. I suppose we are expected to be their own personal comedian-slaves or magicians. Yeah, we actually DO have an "off" button. What's she going to do next, throw coins at us and say, "Make me laugh, make me laugh! You were funny 5 mins ago, what happened"
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