irc333 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I was talking to a friend of mine and I was saying how men have it harder when it comes to dating....that they have to do the asking out, deal with rejection, make the moves, etc. Thing is though, she enlightened me by saying that women have it just as hard, because, she and her friends have to deal with men they are not attracted to asking them out all the time. So, that kind of makes sense, if tons of men are asking a woman out, but she has to turn them all down, because she's not attracted to them, and hardly ANY men that they find attractive DO ask them out, wouldn't that even the odds?
somethingsimple Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Yeah, I think its pretty equal. I actually give a slight edge to men, because they have a power to choose who they go up to. While, women can approach whoever, generally its not normal. So women have to wait haha
Soxfaninfl Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I was talking to a friend of mine and I was saying how men have it harder when it comes to dating....that they have to do the asking out, deal with rejection, make the moves, etc. Thing is though, she enlightened me by saying that women have it just as hard, because, she and her friends have to deal with men they are not attracted to asking them out all the time. So, that kind of makes sense, if tons of men are asking a woman out, but she has to turn them all down, because she's not attracted to them, and hardly ANY men that they find attractive DO ask them out, wouldn't that even the odds? LMAO! That's tuff rejecting men. Men have it harder cause a gentlemen usually pays for everything. Plus, men usually have to do the persuing and make the moves. A woman has never persued me or made the moves first.
Fondue Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I'm gonna play devil's advocate here... Seems like the logical thing for your friends to do is approach the men they do find attractive? I don't think men have a similar option, they're already approaching all the women they want to get with and playing the odds. Does this make any sense?
jormungand Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 IMO, you're definitely correct in saying that us men have the harder mountain to climb when it comes to dating. First we have to find someone that attracts us physically, and more importantly - mentally. We are judged on our ability to provide, protect, and be engaging constantly and can be written off and thrown away in a heartbeat. All women have to do is weed through many uninteresting men to find out who they are on the inside, and even then it could be a superficial attraction.
Feelsgoodman Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I was talking to a friend of mine and I was saying how men have it harder when it comes to dating....that they have to do the asking out, deal with rejection, make the moves, etc. Thing is though, she enlightened me by saying that women have it just as hard, because, she and her friends have to deal with men they are not attracted to asking them out all the time. So, that kind of makes sense, if tons of men are asking a woman out, but she has to turn them all down, because she's not attracted to them, and hardly ANY men that they find attractive DO ask them out, wouldn't that even the odds? You are rather naive and obviously know nothing about women. Women love attention...it's like a drug to them. That's why they friendzone guys they are not interested in. They still want their attention, even though they don't want to sleep with them. Women who get little attention and never get asked out are always moody and depressed. For a woman, to be hit on by lots of men is the ultimate validation of her attractiveness and sex appeal. When women say that the hate, they are feeding you a massive line of BS.
iris219 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I don’t understand why it is often suggested here that women have some sort of male fan club everywhere they go. It is simply not true. We do not have to reject numerous men because we do not get bombarded with date offers each time we walk out of the house. We do not collect friendzoned men who beg us to date them as some sort of ego boost. How is that even an ego boost? It sounds painfully annoying to me. Dating is just as hard for women because it hard to find a man to even go on a date with, and it’s even harder to find a man who’s suitable for a relationship after you’ve went on the date.
El Brujo Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I can understand how it's just as difficult for women as for men---just not in the same way. As men, we have to pursue, pursue, pursue, knocking ourselves out just to get noticed by women who---gasp!!!---might not even be worth it in the end, unless we're lucky enough to get hit on by those rare few women who either don't know the rules or don't care. It's no wonder 12,000 guys have said forget it and bought themselves Realdolls... I'm surprised it's not 12 million! As women, I can see how you can feel "held back" and frustrated if you're hung up on the rule against women making the first move... and even if you're attractive, you have to deal with competition from other women who play by their own rules. They're out there strutting their stuff and giving a bunch of guys what they want, while you're hanging back, waiting to get picked... or maybe you haven't found out where the party is. So... yeah, it's tough, but in a totally different way.
phineas Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I don’t understand why it is often suggested here that women have some sort of male fan club everywhere they go. It is simply not true. We do not have to reject numerous men because we do not get bombarded with date offers each time we walk out of the house. We do not collect friendzoned men who beg us to date them as some sort of ego boost. How is that even an ego boost? It sounds painfully annoying to me. Dating is just as hard for women because it hard to find a man to even go on a date with, and it’s even harder to find a man who’s suitable for a relationship after you’ve went on the date. Attractive, flirty women do in fact collect men. Just because you arn't an attention whore doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Do you have facebook? Ever see one of your female friends post a picture of herself? Ever see an onslaught of male posters telling her how hawt she looks? Same applies to real life.
iris219 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Attractive, flirty women do in fact collect men. Just because you arn't an attention whore doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Do you have facebook? Ever see one of your female friends post a picture of herself? Ever see an onslaught of male posters telling her how hawt she looks? Same applies to real life. We apparently live in very different worlds. Yes, I have a FB. Most of my female friends are married in or in LTR, so they aren’t posting sexy pics. I don’t have the kind of guy friends who would post a UR hawt comment to any woman. The people I know use FB for things like the following: to post pictures of their families, market their business, network with others who are like minded politically, and showcase their artwork. I don’t have a single female friend who would be considered an attention whore. I just don’t associate with that sort of crowd I guess.
phineas Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 For a woman, to be hit on by lots of men is the ultimate validation of her attractiveness and sex appeal. When women say that the hate, they are feeding you a massive line of BS. 90% see Iris. There really are some women who do not collect guys friends for ego boosts. I was talking to a friend of mine and I was saying how men have it harder when it comes to dating....that they have to do the asking out, deal with rejection, make the moves, etc. Thing is though, she enlightened me by saying that women have it just as hard, because, she and her friends have to deal with men they are not attracted to asking them out all the time. So, that kind of makes sense, if tons of men are asking a woman out, but she has to turn them all down, because she's not attracted to them, and hardly ANY men that they find attractive DO ask them out, wouldn't that even the odds? How old are these women?
Necromancer Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 You are rather naive and obviously know nothing about women. Women love attention...it's like a drug to them. That's why they friendzone guys they are not interested in. They still want their attention, even though they don't want to sleep with them. Women who get little attention and never get asked out are always moody and depressed. For a woman, to be hit on by lots of men is the ultimate validation of her attractiveness and sex appeal. When women say that the hate, they are feeding you a massive line of BS. They are just not attracted to the guys but like them as persons. So it more the guys Fault for failed romantic interest. He never had a chance in the first place So if are in "The friend zoned" then don´t be afc and just tell her that you don´t want to be her friend. but yea women like attention,We should not listen to what they say,we should see how they respond women often say just some horse****!
phineas Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 We apparently live in very different worlds. Yes, I have a FB. Most of my female friends are married in or in LTR, so they aren’t posting sexy pics. I don’t have the kind of guy friends who would post a UR hawt comment to any woman. The people I know use FB for things like the following: to post pictures of their families, market their business, network with others who are like minded politically, and showcase their artwork. I don’t have a single female friend who would be considered an attention whore. I just don’t associate with that sort of crowd I guess. That is not a bad thing.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I think the difference is that if you are a woman without any obvious issues , you are eligible for romance whether you are 8 or 80. For men, especially in big cities in the USA, you can be perfectly normal, in decent shape, with a lot to offer in terms of personality and still not make the cut for a myriad of reasons on a list as long as the day. Women are also constantly getting their egos validated by ass kissers who think its the shortcut to getting laid .
veggirl Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 female here, I'd say men have it more difficult when it comes to dating. Mostly cause they are expected to pursue, plan and pay. I wouldn't want to have to do all that! I'd wonder about the ages of a) females who post purposely sexy etc pics over facebook and b) guys who comment "you are hot!" out of nowhere. I'd guess this is a college aged thing? Where you have 800 facebook friends, any and everyone you've ever met at a party or bar. Then yeah I can see that happening for sure, but here in grown up land, I don't think it's quite the epidemic the male LSers make it out to be. Of course attractive females are hit on but is it 40x a day like you all would lead us to believe...nah.
Els Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 OP, I notice you've made quite a few threads on 'who has it better'. Honestly, does it really matter? How does calculating that help you? If we were all to sit and mull over the advantages and disadvantages of all of our innate traits - race, birthplace, height, body type, gender, intelligence, parents/siblings, etc... We would be stuck in a rut blaming everyone and everything for any problems we encounter. If I wanted to write about ways in which men have it better, or tall people have it better, or people born in first-world countries have it better.. I think I could fill a few novellas. Why not focus on what YOU can do to make life good for yourself given your innate traits, instead of spend so much time working out the inches and centimetres of 'who has it better'?
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Yeah, I think its pretty equal. I actually give a slight edge to men, because they have a power to choose who they go up to. While, women can approach whoever, generally its not normal. So women have to wait haha I don’t understand why it is often suggested here that women have some sort of male fan club everywhere they go. It is simply not true. We do not have to reject numerous men because we do not get bombarded with date offers each time we walk out of the house. We do not collect friendzoned men who beg us to date them as some sort of ego boost. How is that even an ego boost? It sounds painfully annoying to me. Dating is just as hard for women because it hard to find a man to even go on a date with, and it’s even harder to find a man who’s suitable for a relationship after you’ve went on the date. I totally agree with iris219 100 percent. That's why I quoted somethingsimple's quote. Basically, somethingsimple is saying men have the option of meeting every woman since we do the approaching. Women only have the option of meeting the men who approach them. Like iris said, the average woman isn't meeting tons of guys. For one thing, the U.S. and Canada are filled with dull small towns and provincial cities (just like most countries in the world). There are many attractive women across North America who live in these small towns. Many of them are so attractive they'd make Scarlett Johansson look average. Do you think in Backwater, Iowa or Podunk, Oregon these women are getting hit on all the time? I've lived in boring towns across the U.S. and Canada all my life. I've met so many attractive women who were lonely, married and single. Some of these women merely went with the guy that showed the most attention. Some of these women married their high school sweetheart or the one guy they dated in college. Why do you think people cram into big cities like NYC? Not just for jobs but also for the social scene. It sucks to be a single person in a smalltown. That's a fact. Most of us here, male or female, are not meeting a lot of people.
somedude81 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Dating for women is easy mode. All they have to do is decide if one of their many suitors is good enough. Men have to do that, plus actually get the woman to go out on a date. Women don't have to go out with hundreds of men to find a suitable guy, but men are expected to keep asking out girls till he finds one who will say yes. And God-forbid he actually starts to like the woman before he asks her out. Women keep saying that they deal with rejection too, but it's no where near the amount that men have to go through. And no, blinking at a guy, but he didn't come over to you is not a rejection.
Wolf18 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I've been to small towns before and found women to be so much more accessible, this is true. It's so hilarious to see in places like NYC a bunch of guys who are 8's and 9's, fighting eachother off in order to have the "privalege" to flirt with some fat granny barslut and still not get anywhere Meanwhile, if you live in a small town, women actually take the time to get to know you instead of just picking up the shiniest package (generally how women in places like LA and NYC choose their partners, and then they complain when the only thing inside of the package is dog **** ) as is the preferred method of "dating" in big anonymous cities. The guys are simpler too, people who stay in small towns are blue collar generally, so you don't have to compete with executives, IT people, etc who make a lot more money and spend all their money collecting iPods,iPhones, iPads and other iBull**** signs of "social status" (it's disgusting how the eyes of women light up when they see a 600 dollar... cell phone) . The type of fortune seeker/rootless personality attracted to city life also generally correlates with flakey, fickle, and shallow personalities, hence all the "NYC women" threads.
lululucy Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 We apparently live in very different worlds. Yes, I have a FB. Most of my female friends are married in or in LTR, so they aren’t posting sexy pics. I don’t have the kind of guy friends who would post a UR hawt comment to any woman. The people I know use FB for things like the following: to post pictures of their families, market their business, network with others who are like minded politically, and showcase their artwork. I don’t have a single female friend who would be considered an attention whore. I just don’t associate with that sort of crowd I guess. Amen. I know there are lots of these kind of women out there but I sometimes feel like posters on LS are only going after the vapid, shallow girls. Not that my friends aren't incredibly attractive, but there's just way more to life than posting a picture in a bikini and waiting for the ego boost. I get my ego boost from finishing my degree and getting promotions, having meaningful friendships.. not that someone complimenting me isn't going to make me feel good, because that's obviously the case. But I've deleted people from my friend's list for being that kind of empty headed person. If there really are as many of these kind of people out there as LS posters seem to imply there are, I am really glad I have the friends I have.
Imajerk17 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I've been to small towns before and found women to be so much more accessible, this is true. It's so hilarious to see in places like NYC a bunch of guys who are 8's and 9's, fighting eachother off in order to have the "privalege" to flirt with some fat granny barslut and still not get anywhere Meanwhile, if you live in a small town, women actually take the time to get to know you instead of just picking up the shiniest package (generally how women in places like LA and NYC choose their partners, and then they complain when the only thing inside of the package is dog **** ) as is the preferred method of "dating" in big anonymous cities. The guys are simpler too, people who stay in small towns are blue collar generally, so you don't have to compete with executives, IT people, etc who make a lot more money and spend all their money collecting iPods,iPhones, iPads and other iBull**** signs of "social status" (it's disgusting how the eyes of women light up when they see a 600 dollar... cell phone) . The type of fortune seeker/rootless personality attracted to city life also generally correlates with flakey, fickle, and shallow personalities, hence all the "NYC women" threads. Interesting, but I'm not sure I agree. In a small town, those easygoing women who would take the time to get to know you, are all married to the guys they already took the time to get to know--namely, their high-school and college sweethearts! I mean, there are a lot of great women but most of them already have rings on their fingers. There are surely exceptions--great small-town girls who are single--but they can be hard to find. (The flip side of this is that many women don't get asked out in small towns, because we men assume that you are already taken!) Meeting women in big cities, ESPECIALLY New York, is so much easier. All you have to do is talk to them. (During the day that is, not in a bar at night where there are more men than women.)
monkey00 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Oh boo hoo for the women. They have a plethora of men throwing themselves at her feet and she gets to shoot them down, and if they don't he's a keeper. As a guy I wish I had a ton of women throwing themselves at me, I would be in heaven plus have an over-inflated ego. Honestly while some women have it hard in dating, I don't think it's necessarily equal. Mind you men still have it a a lot harder. Men have to do all the initiating and pay for the dates. Whether or not a woman is interested she'll likely get free meals or drinks from the guy....does that really sound so bad or equal to the guy after all? I mean if it's really so bad for the girl, she could just step up and ask the guy she's into out. It's just that simple. If she gets shot down, oh well move on. If he likes her then she's got a shot.
rocketboy9 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Dating is like job hunting. Is it easier to be the applicant or the one posting the job? The women have it far easier as they get to be choosers of who they end up with. If nobody makes the cut they are alone, on the other hand every single woman I know is saturated by applicants. Oh its so hard to sort through all those resumes looking for the perfect fit. As opposed to the guy - apply, rejected, apply, rejected, apply, rejected.
Author irc333 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 In small towns, most women are already married with children by the age of 25, or are in relationships. Something about they better stick to their Highschool sweethearts before they loose them after graduation. I'm surprised some still stay together when they split and go off to separate colleges, talk about temptation. lol I've been to small towns before and found women to be so much more accessible, this is true. It's so hilarious to see in places like NYC a bunch of guys who are 8's and 9's, fighting eachother off in order to have the "privalege" to flirt with some fat granny barslut and still not get anywhere Meanwhile, if you live in a small town, women actually take the time to get to know you instead of just picking up the shiniest package (generally how women in places like LA and NYC choose their partners, and then they complain when the only thing inside of the package is dog **** ) as is the preferred method of "dating" in big anonymous cities. The guys are simpler too, people who stay in small towns are blue collar generally, so you don't have to compete with executives, IT people, etc who make a lot more money and spend all their money collecting iPods,iPhones, iPads and other iBull**** signs of "social status" (it's disgusting how the eyes of women light up when they see a 600 dollar... cell phone) . The type of fortune seeker/rootless personality attracted to city life also generally correlates with flakey, fickle, and shallow personalities, hence all the "NYC women" threads.
Imajerk17 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Now ladies, I would take threads like these with a grain of salt, and with some compassion. Many of the male posters here are really Lovable Losers who don't have much game nor much ambition. Their idea of "going for it" is just to sit around and whine. You DON'T want to end up with a guy like this.
Recommended Posts