BardoPond Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 So I've been making steady progress, it's nearly two months now which is a lot longer than I thought I'd make it if I'm honest. I've done a lot of work on myself since the break up and in general I'm quite proud of the way I've handled myself. The overriding feeling I've had of my ex has been anger for the way she handled the break up and so on (my story is there if you're interested and haven't read it already) and while I didn't really like it I have grown comfortable with it. She was spineless and generally horrible for the way she discarded me and I accept that for what it is. But last night the anger just left, I swear I could physically feel it leave me like someone just flipping a switch and I thought the next step was going to be golden indifference but when the anger left I was just left with this really deep sadness. I really don't care for this feeling at all if I'm honest. She has her new boyfriend and she's pretty much forgotten I exist. She acted the way she did and she gets a lovely new relationship and I tried to act respectably and all I get is dumped on. I'm doing my best here and none of it really seems to make a difference. Three years of my life has been reduced to nothing. I guess what I'm trying to ask here is: is this a normal thing to have happen? I'm aware off days are par for the course, I've had those but this really feels different. I really feel like I'm going backwards here for no good reason. The thought that I may well never have another meaningful interaction with her is the most upsetting thing in the world right now even after everything she's done. I'd have at least liked an explanation and a proper goodbye but the more I think about it, the last thing I said to her was to leave me alone and she may well just do that now. I think I need some help here guys...
hooliganization Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 It's good you're feeling like you are. honestly, I've come to realize the better you treat somebody the less they appreciate you. I may just be bitter today, but I've seen this happen to my over ones, not hurt myself. I can't help being a hopeless romantic, I know God made somebody just for us, we just have to be patient. Everything happens for a reason, honestly I don't know how I'd be today if the breakup hadn't happened. I was afraid. Fearful of being alone, my priorities were all in the wrong place. Back before, i was in love.. My family was my priority. Now I know that's the way it is. Until somebody is willing to fully commit themselves to you,your blood family is the one that will fully love you uncondionally. I went bed every night worrying about not knowing how to balance my life. Now I know it was unhealthy for me to spend my 100% focus on the significant other. I only brought it on myself though. He had told me when we were just friends he never wanted children Or a family.I did. In a drunken statement i was given false hope. Everything happens for a reason. We don't know why today, but we must remain patient. We may hurt today, but it's part of life. A learning experience. I always heard about losing your first live... About how much it hurt. Now i know, but those whom u heard it from hadn't found their soulmate yet. There's always hope no matter how bleak the situation may seem.
Author BardoPond Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 Thank you for your kind words. I don't know, it was much easier being angry I think to be honest. I'm still holding hope that it's happened for a reason but I guess it's just kinda hard to see at the minute. I'm trying to find a balance at the minute but it's difficult. I think I'm just trying to prove that things do get better. Thanks.
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