Kcelleste Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 So I have to end it with the least amount of stress between us. I will not tell him how I truly feel because he stated that he didn’t want a serious relationship. So I don’t feel that I will gain anything by bringing up my uneasy feelings of emotions. I just want this to end and hopefully move on as soon as possible. I didn’t expect to start falling for him at all (he isn’t my type) so I’m upset about having to let this go. I know I have to because if I don’t I believe I’ll just end up getting hurt in the future. I just told him that we needed to talk. I feel uncomfortable about this whole thing but it has to stop. He mentioned a few times that we were more than FWB’s (I didn’t want to believe that). So I’m afraid that he will ask more questions then I expect. The type of questions that I really don’t want to answer. This is my first FWB relationship so this whole situation is confusing for me. What would you say to end things smoothly? Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 So he regards you as being more than a FWB but doesn't want a serious relationshp. I have no idea what that means. Maybe you don't really have to say anything? It can't be that hard to cease sleeping with him. It's not like you love him or anything, so Idk, just go to the cinema with him or something instead of having sex with him. Hopefully others can give better ideas as I do not have experience with such things and would be offended if someone made mention of such a deal. No, I would not agree to it and would simply regard him as being emotionally deficient. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 That always happens. Well, maybe not always, but most of the time. Women think they can keep sex and emotions separate, and then they fall for the guy. Don't blame yourself, FWB is generally a bad situation for women. Just keep the conversation short and sweet. If he doesn't want a real relationship with you (sounds like he doesn't), you need to stick to your guns and cut contact. Link to post Share on other sites
yolatanga Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Don't do it. It only ends in disaster. Mine lasted 8 mos. I fell in love. We live in the same complex. We tried to stay friends. That seemed to be working until he told me he is still in love with his ex. Now he's ignoring me. Ugggh! Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) I think he said it's more than just FWB to keep you in his pocket. He can probably sense how you feel so he told you what you wanted to hear to secure the arrangement. Otherwise he would not have contradicted himself about not wanting a relationship. I'd just keep it short and sweet and just let him know you're not willing to continue with the arrangement anymore due to personal reasons you would prefer not to discuss with him. Then NC. You don't owe him anything more. Isn't that the beauty of FWB? Zero obligation. You can up and go whenever you want. Edited January 7, 2012 by geegirl Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Going against the grain I say just be completely honest. Tell him how you feel and why you have to end things with him. Let me ask, does he treat you well? Is he a 'friend' too or are things casual and he's detached (not know much about you and your life and you don't know much about his life etc). Just wondering how involved you two are outside of the bedroom. It is possible that he has feelings of attachment towards you too..And cares for you as well, unfortunately that isn't enough if he truly isn't interested in committing and having a relationship. Question is, are you falling in love with him or are you just too emotionally and sexually attached to him? Big difference, though hard to tell the difference between the two when you're in the midst of it all. hope this makes sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
True2form Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I agree with whichwayisup. Now for my version: You might as well be totally honest that feelings have started encroaching and it's making you uncomfortable. Tell him you took on board what he said so you think it's best to end it. If you're trying to go for the dramatic "I'm ending it" hoping it'll make him want to grab onto you - don't. Never expect that. In my experience, when people are told to go away... they go away. Go into it with truth in your heart. If you want to give it a shot, instead of the dramatic sweeping out which leaves you with no option, then tell him that you feel like you want to give it a shot, do couply stuff and see how it goes and you'll understand if the answers no but you just wanted to see what would happen. He'll respect you more for at least having the courage to give him some kind of option and I don't think you realise actually how surprisingly attractive it is to people when you smile in the face of rejection (even if you're dying inside a bit!) If he says, no I can't do this, smile and just say "I understand" people love to be understood. Of all things, that might have the desired effect of reeling him in, or at least leaving him wondering if he should have made some kind of attempt. Hope that makes some kind of sense. Good luck! x Link to post Share on other sites
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