ThinkPink218 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 It's been a year since the breakup and 2 months since we've last spoken. At first I was angry about not hearing from him at all/feeling like he didn't care and hurt that he moved on so quickly. I've recently reached the point where I know we probably will not get back together, we won't speak, and I'm learning to be happy for him and his current situation as well as looking forward to what's to come next in my life, but why do I still care about what's going on in his life as well as wanting to hear from him (knowing its not good for me) and wanting him to remember how much fun I am??? (I feel like that all was forgotten through our nasty breakup). I mean why do I still care when I know we won't ever be again?
BoredAgain Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Well, don't expect to get to a point where you simply "don't care" about him. Rather, you'll get to a point where you'll simply stop thinking about him. You will get over this eventually. In fact, it seems like you're *almost* there. Just keep up the No Contact thing until you do. You've been in contact with him over the course of the last year, so is it possible that set you back in the healing process?
Author ThinkPink218 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 Well, don't expect to get to a point where you simply "don't care" about him. Rather, you'll get to a point where you'll simply stop thinking about him. You will get over this eventually. In fact, it seems like you're *almost* there. Just keep up the No Contact thing until you do. You've been in contact with him over the course of the last year, so is it possible that set you back in the healing process? Yea, the past year in contact definitely set the healing process back. We tried the friend thing, but he always turned it into something sexual and I didn't agree so we would stop talking for a while then he'd come back trying to be friendly, the same sexual comments would occur and I would ignore but now we've stopped talking for good. I've accepted that its over and he's moved on, but there is a part of me that wants him to at least attempt to see how I'm doing and a part of me that wants to remind him of how fun I am. Why though?!
lymtal1 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 pink, sure, time for you to move on as well. it is just that simple. you may have lingering thoughts that last for a period of time, hopefully they will stop when you find someone that treats you as you deserve. the way you get past this is no contact at all. do ALL the things that you need to, to make that happen. all social media, change phone number etc. no contact is for you to leave the past behind and begin to move towards indifference. since it has been a year, which is a decent amount of time the continued contact has put you in this place. you are not ready to be his friend. he is ready for you to be his booty call when he wants it. if you realize you will not be back together now is the time to focus on you and not him. you say that you are learning to be happy for him. great. now shift that to what you have to do to make you happy. he is not part of that plan. based on what you say you still clearly have feelings for him. if you want to keep going like this for a continued period of time and continue to be unhappy and always keep asking the why this why that questions, and keep hoping that he does something different, keep doing what you are doing. if you want to move past him, start now. good luck and i hope you make the decision that gets you where you deserve to be.
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