smokey bear Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I think he's creeping into the coming home stage. I got a phonecall about 10 days ago asking for help. Before that it was approx a 6,7 weeks since i had last seen him. At that stage he was very much still on his Gigs high horse but had dumped his gigs girl and friends. He wanted to soe his wild oats (something the true him would never do) Funnily enough i found out today that he never did do the soeing oats thing, gradually over the last two months there have been signs of the old him resurfacing but never consistant. That phone call 10 days ago and todays conversing, there was consistance. Also, Today for the first time he was considerate of my feelings, he acknowledged that he causes me hurt and had actually listened to what i had said the previous conversation 10 days ago. Im actually at a point where i dont know what to do, For some reason i dont remember this part of my gigs and dont have anything to guide me. I have a choice to meet up with him, Initiated by me. Im ready for it if he came back but i dont know if holding his hand through this part would drain the strength ive gained. Ah! I think i need to go the NC route again, Ive already built up the attraction in the previous months, we've both let go of the past. there's no anger or anything. This is the first sign of care he has showed and it only surfaced in the last 10 days, i think NC again to let those feelings flow out a bit more would be best and also put me in a better position. Writing really does help, it lets you answer the questions your asking yourself.
kkay Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Hey Smokey, I think you are on the right track. I have been following some of your posts regarding GIG's and I think you and I are on a similar path. I don't know if I am a sucker but I think you really need to go talk to you ex with half of your heart and the other half with your head. It sounds like you two really love each other but needed to figure somethings out on your own (my ex and I are doing that right now). Personally, I don't think you need to label it "NC", I think all that talk sounds like such a game. I think you need to make the choices for you. If you fear talking to him will "drain you", be smart. Put up some personal ground rules for yourself... maybe only talking to him weekly or for short periods of time well be beneficial and won't tire you out. I don't know... I have realized I gave too much of myself in the past and forgot about giving myself some kindness. Don't forget yourself in the path of helping him rediscover your relationship. All the best. I'm rooting for you two
stillafool Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 If I were you I wouldn't care is he was in the final stage of GIG. I certainly wouldn't want him back. What is going to happen the next time he sees that the GIG somewhere else? If I were you I would move on to someone who is more reliable.
Author smokey bear Posted December 17, 2011 Author Posted December 17, 2011 @KKay thank you and id love to hear your story, ive set my boundaries up now. @still a fool he was reliable for nearly a decade, i think we are all allowed to make mistakes sometimes, are we not
fucpcg Posted December 17, 2011 Posted December 17, 2011 We ALL make mistakes, even the ones who are determined to do our best in a relationship. Anyone who says you made a mistake goodbye, is someone who needs to learn what a relationship is, and also will have their karma come back to them, and it's gonna hurt.
Art_Critic Posted December 18, 2011 Posted December 18, 2011 If I were you I wouldn't care is he was in the final stage of GIG. I certainly wouldn't want him back. What is going to happen the next time he sees that the GIG somewhere else? If I were you I would move on to someone who is more reliable. Amen.. and it's GAGS... there is not such thing as gigs
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