DearAbby Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 If a girl rejects you politely many times, but you keep asking her out and down the line she says yes because now she is open to going out with you.. At this point, is she more valuable to you? Or do you just want to get in her pants and reject her?
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 It depends on the dude. The nice guys genuinely believe they want to stick with her. The players will dump her in the end. These days, less and less men will keep pursuing the same women. It seems back in my dad and grandad's days pursuing the same women was common. It was understandable if that sweet girl took some time to come around cuz that's how society operated. But technology and society have made women easier. Why wait around for one chick?
Author DearAbby Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 persistence pays for certain males. for other males if he asks even a second time after a polite rejection its stalking. I definitely agree with you here. I have no idea how some males get away with persistent asking and it can be cute after awhile...where some ask you out a second time and you fear for your life. I think it has to do with how attractive the guy is who keeps asking. Sad but true.
ThaWholigan Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I don't ask girls out. There are ways of getting dates and spending time without "asking girls out" as I have personally realized in my experience.
Andy_K Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 She's less valuable every time she rejects me. This is hypothetical, since I wouldn't ask more than once anyway. Perhaps twice if there was a good reason (like a boyfriend or contagious disease) the first time. Honestly... the longer it takes a girl to decide she likes me, the more I'm going to think she doesn't really know herself or what she wants very well. And that is something which will lessen my respect.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 the nice guys will get teh stalker label before you can blink an eye. the players will get what they want. So true. She's less valuable every time she rejects me. This is hypothetical, since I wouldn't ask more than once anyway. Perhaps twice if there was a good reason (like a boyfriend or contagious disease) the first time. Honestly... the longer it takes a girl to decide she likes me, the more I'm going to think she doesn't really know herself or what she wants very well. And that is something which will lessen my respect. This pretty much sums up how most guys think. A woman actually holds less value after she declines my advances.
snug.bunny Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 This is happening to two mutual friends of mine (a female friend I've known for 15 years and my male friend since high school, so I know them both fairly well). The male friend, is a good guy, but his personality is one that is very flighty. He cannot sit still (I don't think he gets more than a couple hours of sleep daily, he says it's because he "just can't sleep") has never had a LTR, moves from state-to-state, from job-to-job, and has been that way since high school. He cannot do the "9-5" routine, it's always odd jobs, doing different things, things at off hours, and it changes constantly. He married a woman he had dated for a short while and divorced three months later (I believe he agreed to marry her because she was living in the US illegally and she paid him money to marry her so she could say ), but they split shortly after and never finalized the divorce so he is still technically married to her. Anyway, he has been pursuing my friend for the past few months telling her he wants to be in a relationship with her, but she has told him several times, she is not interested. I know the minute if she were to agree, he will be off in the other direction. I've seen it happen a zillion times. I provided a lot of details, but I am just trying to paint a clear picture for you so that you can put things into perspective. You have indicated you are not/were not interested in dating him, so could it be that you are becoming interested in his persistence moreso than anything else? What is it about him, that you are now more "open" to exploring?
grkBoy Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 If a girl rejects you politely many times, but you keep asking her out There's the big mistake. I don't believe in "persistence pays off". It's like asking an employer over and over for a job, so he finally gives you one that pays 25% of what others get paid...because you handed all the power to him. I ask a girl out ONCE. If I get a rejection, I move on. NOW...if we happen to run into each other later in life and suddenly she's interested in me, then I'll judge it based on where she is in life. If she's a mess from too many past "bad decisions", then I won't bother. If she's the same person she was before (more or less), then why not? I've seen guys who are persistent and they get the girl, but it's funny how many of those guys later cheated on the girl or ended up cheated on. A few ended up "happily ever after", but most seemingly didn't work out. I just won't play games or chase. I have too much pride and would die alone before chasing someone like a hungry dog.
mtber75 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 persistence pays for certain males. for other males if he asks even a second time after a polite rejection its stalking. Persistence don't pay off. If she says flat out NO multiple times (even politely), what make you think she'll change her mind later on? Unless she's from a different culture where guys are persistent (stalker like), I won't and just move on.
somedude81 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I tried the persistence thing, didn't work at all. Now she won't even talk to me anymore. When the ho says no, you gotta go.
insertnamehere Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I will not ask a woman out more than once. Frankly, if she plays like that, she can eat ****.
Sith Apprentice Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I did this years ago when I was an AFC and it got me nowhere. I pursued this woman for 4 months during which time she repeated brushed me off. When I finally was able to get her on a date it went well, but she ended up flaking on me again. Total waste of time when I should have been pursuing other women who displayed interest in me from the beginning. Now, I will only ask for a woman's phone number/date once. If I get rejected I'm gone and move onto other targets. I ain't jumping through hoops for nobody. I only place value in women who return interest.
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