Cityslick Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 It's ironic how I was reading Wilsonx's post about his email to his ex and I'm just thinking to myself, at least he got some kind of response. Then all of a sudden, BOOM, my phone vibrates and its her. She texts me asking "how am I doing?" *We were together for 4 years long distance. She lost attraction and left and found a new bf very, very shortly afterward.* I still love her but she has told me herself to go NC to get over it. WE broke up in Sept and I've been no contact for almost 2 months. She literally texted me like 2 minutes ago, so I don't want to react immediately. She caught me off guard here, any advice?
Philosoraptor Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Don't respond at all. Not worth the emotional issues it could cause. Take control of the situation and give her nothing.
smudge21 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Sounds like a perfect example of GIGS. Personally as she left you for someone else, I'd ignore this - it could be something more, but it could be just to feed her ego. The fact is you don't know. All you do know is this girl left you for someone else...
Zabs Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Text back in a few days perhaps saying I'm good..yourself? The trixk is...to keep it short. The reason I am suggesting this is that it is my guess that it will bug the hell out of you 'wondering WHY'...her response will give you an answer... the thing is...DO NOT ELABORATE...let her show her cards..and that way you remain in control. She cannot read into that you are secretly pining for her...you are just being poite...but that ONLY stands if you do not follow up with further texts or initiate any further contact...OF ANY SORT! The holidays are appraoching..you do not want to be in THAT zone do you? Much love, Zabs xx:cool:
Philosoraptor Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I disagree Zabs, I think replying puts her in the power. He could end up waiting for a response and it may never come. It could really push him back as there may be some sort of buildup and disappointment waiting for a response.
Author Cityslick Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 I disagree Zabs, I think replying puts her in the power. He could end up waiting for a response and it may never come. It could really push him back as there may be some sort of buildup and disappointment waiting for a response. I agree. Usually I would have responded and waited and waited and waited...I think its more out of curiousity that she's texting and if there's any guilt or anything then that's for her to deal with. I'm gonna stay strong on this one. *NC means NC* Although I am wondering in the context of recon if this is "step 1" but, gathering from everyone's views and experiences on this and other forums...stay away.
davesterr Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 if u wanna stick to nc then stay nc. don't allow urself to do small talk because that defeats the purpose. she left you for someone else. if you wanna be a dick , just say im doing good thanks. dont ask how she's doing. this may look rude but then again she ditched u man. fug that. or you can be nice and say im doing good how are you? then you have to deal with the fact that she might not reply. feeding her ego by replying to her. and putting her in power. also you will secretly waiting for her message and when it doesn't come it will hurt you. all along i think you shouldn't even bother messaging back. if you do wanna reply , you can do option 2 and stay selfish but you would be lieing in the reply because we both know ur not doing good. or you can keep it simply and just say im good how are u , and leave it. don't expect anything from it. in this position she will do either 2 things. ignore u. or reply back with some underlying message that she didn't wanna send u right away. whether that's wanting something from you , a favor , or in the best scenario , ask you back. then again if its the latter and she does want you back , im sure she will text you more than just once. she dumped you , if she wants you back , let her earn you. cuz like they say , easy come easy go , easy come back , easy gone again.
Kamila Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 " A message from my ex, he still loves me ! " I responded with:" I'm good". Then a month later I got another message: "How are you doing ?" I responded with: "I'm alright, thx" Then I thought...(this is pathetic... ) I stopped replying and the last text I got was something like: "... I still think a lot about you..." I think due to the fact that she left you, you should go no contact. And she told you to go no contact ? Well then, give her what she wanted.
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