sacg Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Well I never thought I'd be back here again. But to be totally honest, I have no idea who else I can relay this to. I'm slightly embarrassed if I'm truthful, but also slightly worried as to the state of my mind. Here's the thing... I went through a very difficult time with my Ex, and all this was over 3 years ago. 3 YEARS! Now there hasn’t been a day when I don't think about her, and still hold some deep feelings, but that aside, I have moved on. The thoughts I have of her, are just…..well, normal I guess. I don’t pine, regret or miss her anymore, but she’s there in my heart to some capacity. I’m guessing she always will be to some extent. But what’s really getting to me are the dreams. I still regularly dream about her. And they are awful, almost deliberately hurtful. They are never the dreams like others on here say, happy ones, re-united ones, etc. My dreams always echo what she did to me in the harshest way. They always start with us together, and end with her leaving me for someone else, quite blatantly and hurtful. I wake up, and still, yep, still feel heartbroken. Not angry, but heartbroken. My point is this, why am I still experiencing this after all this time? Am I normal? Has this affected me deeply, mentally?
smudge21 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Something is clearly triggering these feelings. I mean, memories are one thing, but when those memories still hurt after so long then there's something else going on. I can remember all my exs, including the ones (like my present ex) that I thought I'd never get over... yet I have. They are nothing more than distant memories and I don't miss them in any single way. Which is odd considering how much I did at the time. I'm sure my current ex will be the same one day. See if there's anything else in your life that is causing these feelings or preventing them from moving on. Something you do or don't do.
sao2 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Some people and experiences are harder to get over than others. I have had a similar experience although over the last 4 years it has steadily been getting better. In my case, as perhaps in yours, I have had trouble because my feelings and narrative about what happened are still somewhat unresolved. Perhaps you need to delve into your own thoughts about what happened in your relationship and re-examine it. My situation has improved somewhat since I have taken the scary step of facing the past and my own mistakes as well as hers.
davesterr Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Untill you find a new love , your ex will always be the one closest to you. Even though you no longer love her all your heart , she is still there and most likely always will be. Despite how long much time has passed. You are not truely over her because otherwise after waking up you wouldn't feel this hurt. I too experiance dreams only to see my ex with someone else. They hurt and ruin the rest of your whole day. As hard as it is , you can't change the past. Im sure after 3 years and moving on you have realised this. But that doesn't mean that we no longer care. Those dreams represent emotions and feelings we have hidden inside. Thoughts we repressed so that we could focus our energy on our daily life. When you dream these repressed feelings sometimes come out. And there is no real way of stopping them. Untill you find someone new who you truely loved as much as your ex. Your heart will never be sealed. Inside love wise , you will never find inner peace. So untill that day happens you might still get these dreams. Maybe it's like sao2 said. Maybe you need to give yourself one last closure. Then again it's been 3 years so i think you have already done all you could. In the end you have to realise that dreams are just dreams. And yes , you may still love her and want her back in a degree. But it's been 3 years and you're doing good now. Let the past be the past and when a dream occurs , just realise what's real when you wake up. Write down your feelings as of now , how you are over her and what good things are ahead of you. Keep the paper next to your bed somewhere. And everytime you dream of her and wake up , as sad as you feel , read it. Then read it again and again untill your brain understands it. Like i said: Those dreams are just dreams. And sure they may bring out hidden feelings you keep inside. But what really matters is how you deal with them in the present life. Just keep doing what you have to do. And maybe some day you will meet someone new and fall in love again. I can guarantee you , when that happens. You will sleep like a baby without a single restless thought before going to bed.
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