Author Johnny85 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 I just feel so confused right now; and it is so rude for her not to even respond! W.t. f? Why is she playing games like this? We are talking about an educated girl with her own business here!!! Any input?
SimonMas Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I just feel so confused right now; and it is so rude for her not to even respond! W.t. f? Why is she playing games like this? We are talking about an educated girl with her own business here!!! Any input? When the project (business) ended, so did the relationship. Unfortunately, that's how the business world works. You can read my thread on my ex gf who tried to manipulate me in giving her company a contract.
Author Johnny85 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 And she still has not responded!!!! She is deliberately avoiding my question (hence, she has been ignoring some of my texts for a while now but then a few days later she always contacts me; typically about work tho). I am just completely stunned at how she doesn't even respond! This is the best chance shell ever have to tell me, and she ignores me! I feel like she is playing hard to get, and it really sucks!!!
snowflakes88 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I don't think she is playing hard to get. I think she is flat out not interested, and I would not continue to press the issue. I hope she pays you your money, but I have to admit that I don't have a great feeling about it...
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I don't think you sound desperate but sometimes too direct of an approach can scare people away. Generally I think people want things to flow naturally. I learned that the relationships that flowed more naturaly had a higher chance of succeeding. With that said Johnny, good job for just approaching it directly and cleanly. Just don't get trapped in the idea about what other people "owe" you. While we all have an idea of how want to be treated and what is respectful or not, you will make things a lot easier on yourself not attaching your personal morals and the way you treat people to others. You know for yourself that if a girl was honest about liking you and you didn't like her back, you'd just tell her that you weren't interested. But not everyone is that clean and direct. Don't approach the situation from a perspective of what you are "owed". It will make life easier when people act in ways you don't understand. In reality, she doesn't owe you anything even though it would be really nice if she was upfront about her own feelings.
Author Johnny85 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 I don't think she is playing hard to get. I think she is flat out not interested, and I would not continue to press the issue. I hope she pays you your money, but I have to admit that I don't have a great feeling about it... Why did she kiss me then? Why does she write on my fb profile? Why did she propose we go to the movies next week? She knows I like her - and she once said that if she wasn't into a guy, she would just tell him! Yet she avoids my direct question (I basically opened up my heart to her). Is she seeing someone else? Most likely! Am I a priority? No, I am merely an option! But if she is "flat out not interested" she could just tell me!!! But she hasn't!!! That's why it is frustrating!!!
Author Johnny85 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 I don't think you sound desperate but sometimes too direct of an approach can scare people away. Generally I think people want things to flow naturally. I learned that the relationships that flowed more naturaly had a higher chance of succeeding. With that said Johnny, good job for just approaching it directly and cleanly. Just don't get trapped in the idea about what other people "owe" you. While we all have an idea of how want to be treated and what is respectful or not, you will make things a lot easier on yourself not attaching your personal morals and the way you treat people to others. You know for yourself that if a girl was honest about liking you and you didn't like her back, you'd just tell her that you weren't interested. But not everyone is that clean and direct. Don't approach the situation from a perspective of what you are "owed". It will make life easier when people act in ways you don't understand. In reality, she doesn't owe you anything even though it would be really nice if she was upfront about her own feelings. I know - you're right; I just feel that honesty would be nice! I wish she were considerate and just told me straight up instead of stringing me along! You know, it would take her 2 minutes to tell me that she likes somebody else!!! And that she would like for us to be friends!! Instead she ignores my question!!! That's not cool - she doesn't owe me anything but if she valued me as a person, she would be honest with me....
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I agree with you Johnny. She SHOULD give you the consideration to just answer and be straight up. But sometimes people can't face their own rejection of another person. They aren't that mature yet. Not everyone has developed the same skills in dealing with relationships. I wouldn't take it to mean she doesn't value as a person so much as she isn't mature in herself to deal with a situation upfront. When I was dating more, I also got blown off more. Guys that wouldn't call you even after a couple dates. It really use to hurt my feelings because like you, I just wanted a call to just put closure on something. But I realized that the way they choose to handle themselves in any interaction/relationship has nothing to do with me. That was seriously on them. Now if a guy blows me off, all I can do is shrug and move on. That's how *he* decided to handle it, not me. And while I want to be treated a certain way, when a man doesn't, that's just a bigger signal that he is so not the right guy for me anyway. Take it as a clear sign that she is not the right type of girl for you. The right type of girl for you will be more upfront and honest and have integrity when she deals with her relationship with you. Consider this experience a gift because it's going to help you determine what you value and want in a woman in your future relationships.
spice4life Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 (edited) I know - you're right; I just feel that honesty would be nice! I wish she were considerate and just told me straight up instead of stringing me along! You know, it would take her 2 minutes to tell me that she likes somebody else!!! And that she would like for us to be friends!! Instead she ignores my question!!! That's not cool - she doesn't owe me anything but if she valued me as a person, she would be honest with me.... Your feelings are very valid. If she just came out and said, "hey, I've decided to date others for now" it would be a lot easier for you to let go, start healing and move on. Instead you are feeling stuck in limbo because she wasn't direct. It's true, she doesn't really owe you anything, but it would be nice if she just told you, "I'm dating, so no need to wait around." I've been faced with a situation, more from her side of things, myself and I'm not quite sure what to do. Someone was in my life and he just fell off the face of the earth for a while (it hurt) and I assumed he just ended it and moved on. I thought he either found someone else or was reconciling with his ex. I decided, due to our history, that I had enough and wanted to begin exploring my options by putting myself back on the dating market. I was quite surprised that I was asked out pretty quickly too and I said, "what the heck, why not?" Well, he contacted me right after I accepted the date. Since the holidays are coming up, I didn't want him to feel bad not hearing from me, so I responded. I care deeply for him and I didn't want him to have any "us" stress during the holidays. Now I'm wondering if I did the right thing by responding. I didn't tell him I had a date and that I'm exploring my options and now I feel bad. My intention was not to string him along at all...I just want him to enjoy the holidays without worrying about me. I am hoping I didn't make things worse by communicating back. Maybe he wants to move on and he was just having a weak moment when he contacted me. I don't know! I have no clue what's going through his mind and to be honest, I shouldn't even be thinking about it because he disappeared on me without an explanation first! So anyway, I told him we could be in touch after the holidays if he wanted to talk. After reading your thread though, I'm now wondering if he is feeling strung along? That was not my intention at all when I responded and I certainly hope he isn't feeling the way you are due to the way I handled it. Oh well, if I screwed up I screwed up. Not much I can do about it now because I don't want to make matters worse! Sorry for going off track on your thread! I hope you find some peace before the holidays. Edited December 10, 2011 by spice4life
Author Johnny85 Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 Your feelings are very valid. If she just came out and said, "hey, I've decided to date others for now" it would be a lot easier for you to let go, start healing and move on. Instead you are feeling stuck in limbo because she wasn't direct. It's true, she doesn't really owe you anything, but it would be nice if she just told you, "I'm dating, so no need to wait around." I've been faced with a situation, more from her side of things, myself and I'm not quite sure what to do. Someone was in my life and he just fell off the face of the earth for a while (it hurt) and I assumed he just ended it and moved on. I thought he either found someone else or was reconciling with his ex. I decided, due to our history, that I had enough and wanted to begin exploring my options by putting myself back on the dating market. I was quite surprised that I was asked out pretty quickly too and I said, "what the heck, why not?" Well, he contacted me right after I accepted the date. Since the holidays are coming up, I didn't want him to feel bad not hearing from me, so I responded. I care deeply for him and I didn't want him to have any "us" stress during the holidays. Now I'm wondering if I did the right thing by responding. I didn't tell him I had a date and that I'm exploring my options and now I feel bad. My intention was not to string him along at all...I just want him to enjoy the holidays without worrying about me. I am hoping I didn't make things worse by communicating back. Maybe he wants to move on and he was just having a weak moment when he contacted me. I don't know! I have no clue what's going through his mind and to be honest, I shouldn't even be thinking about it because he disappeared on me without an explanation first! So anyway, I told him we could be in touch after the holidays if he wanted to talk. After reading your thread though, I'm now wondering if he is feeling strung along? That was not my intention at all when I responded and I certainly hope he isn't feeling the way you are due to the way I handled it. Oh well, if I screwed up I screwed up. Not much I can do about it now because I don't want to make matters worse! Sorry for going off track on your thread! I hope you find some peace before the holidays. Well the primary reason why I asked her directly is because I felt that she was stringing me along! I really like this girl - she is smart, funny, well-educated, and an overall quality girl. I would show her that I liked her - I bought her a pair of earrings (inexpensive, but I designed them myself), sent her a romantic song and told her it reminded me of of her (she didn't respond for 4 days and then she suggested that we play tennis), I told her that I really liked her (she didn't respond for a few days till she commented on my fb photo)... Etc! So she knows that I like her and her ignoring my texts is nothing new!!! So I felt like I wanted and needed some clarity - if she isn't that into me or she sees me as merely an option, I wish she would show me the consideration and just tell me!!! I don't want to be strung along anymore! I doubt you have been stringing this guy along like she has with me! All I wanted was to get closure so that I can move on! I really don't want to be into a girl who is not into me!!! That is unhealthy and not for me!!!
Author Johnny85 Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Well I texted her today about getting paid!! I suggested she mail me the check! She responded by saying, "why you don't want to see me? Lol okay" I told her I was going out of town and that I would prefer if she mailed it to me! She said, "you are acting weird! okay" I wrote her "no I am being genuine! I wish you showed me the consideration of responding to my texts! Sincererity goes a long way!" Her: "in that case I am glad I didn't because now you're showing your true face! I responded by taking a picture of my face and writing my true face! Lol Her: very nice! I sent her a text and then told her that I would be open to us dating still and getting to know one another but that it was her turn to ask me out! And I recommended a diet for her cat! No Response!!!!! Lol This is totally unacceptable!!
CocoaBrown Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Well I texted her today about getting paid!! I suggested she mail me the check! She responded by saying, "why you don't want to see me? Lol okay" I told her I was going out of town and that I would prefer if she mailed it to me! She said, "you are acting weird! okay" I wrote her "no I am being genuine! I wish you showed me the consideration of responding to my texts! Sincererity goes a long way!" Her: "in that case I am glad I didn't because now you're showing your true face! I responded by taking a picture of my face and writing my true face! Lol Her: very nice! I sent her a text and then told her that I would be open to us dating still and getting to know one another but that it was her turn to ask me out! And I recommended a diet for her cat! No Response!!!!! Lol This is totally unacceptable!! LOL This girl is full of games! How are YOU the one acting weird? You have asked to see her many times and she has basically avoided you. Now she's trying to make it seem like she wants to see you instead of just popping a check in the mail. Nah, just pop it in the mail girl! lol Have you ever thought she was just using you for money? A few kisses and touches, borrow some money and then leave you hanging and wanting more while she dates other guys? I admit I haven't read every post so there may have been a good reason you gave her money, but be careful about women who want money from you when you hardly know them. And her saying she glad she didn't respond to your texts because you're "showing your true face" is an attempt to throw you off and make you feel like you're doing something wrong by expecting her to treat you with respect AND give you your money back. I don't think she takes you very seriously. If I were you I wouldn't go out with her now even if she asks. You shouldn't have to beg for a date. Get your money back and spend it on someone else!
dispatch3d Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 Yeah, dude, I would just stop talking to her.
dispatch3d Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 After reading your recent messages, get control of yourself man jesus.
Author Johnny85 Posted December 16, 2011 Author Posted December 16, 2011 Even though I broke up with my ex gf almost a year ago ago, I feel like I really miss someone who likes me for me! Someone who appreciates my kindness and generosity! I am not in love with this girl; in fact, I despise how she is treating me! I feel like a push over!! I just feel sooo lonely right now! I am not even trying to have sex with her; I just would like someone to spend time with!!! I have only been nice and kind towards her! The right girl would appreciate that - someone who is always going to be there for her! Instead this girl is treating me like ****!! And yes, Jesus, I need to get a grip of myself! She tried to make it seem like I am the problem!!! I am acting weird??? Lol I never gave her any money; she owes money for contract work I did for her! I nearly blew up on her today for acting as if though I am the problem!!! (((
TheFinalWord Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 (edited) Hey bro, I can relate (there was no money involved in my situation, but there was information I had that was helpful to her). I was interested in the girl and I treated her like gold. I did more than just give her information, I helped her in many ways, supported her, encouraged her...basically showed her the benefits she would receive from a relationship from me. Problem is, it didn't work.She played the same type of games. Not responding to texts, flirting, disappearing off the face of the earth, re-surfacing and flirting, cancelling at the last minute, yada yada...the recurring theme was that everything was on HER TERMS. It sounds like you're in the same boat. Like the other female poster said, if you're a high enough priority, trust me you will get time and attention from her. The thing is bro, some girls are just users! There is no rational explanation. These are the same girls that complain that they can't find a good man; yet, when one is right in front of them they don't even know it! She is self-centered and is used to getting her way. She also knows that as soon as she throws out any sign of flirting you are like a fish that keeps swallowing the baited hook over and over again (Pavlov dog's). Basically she knows she owns you! Sorry to be harsh, but I was a sucker for the same game. Sad thing is, you won't win. All you will do is get hurt more. Right now you are reinforcing her negative behavior toward you. I doubt another guy is in the picture, my guess is several other men are in the picture and she is playing all of them. Your best bet is to take your money and don't invest anymore time in her. Don't play her game! PS: Play the chorus of this song to yourself over and over again: PSS: how old is this girl? Edited December 16, 2011 by TheFinalWord
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