xxch Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 My EX broke up with me right before Halloween. And of course I was devastated. He is 22 and I'm 20. We have been together for 5 years and we've only broken up once before. I love him very dearly. He has stuck through some tough stuff and I honestly believe I mentally survived my family's mental abuse because of him. He broke up with me because he thinks we are too different and we are. He is Muslim and I don't really believe in religion. I am Buddhist because of my parents, but I view it as more of a philosophy. It bothers him that I don't believe in any kind of god. But that’s just another thing I don’t really want to get into. We are very much different. We don’t have many of the same interests, but the reason why we lasted so long was because we could just sit around literally doing nothing and just have the most amazing time but I guess after time that changes. He told me he loves me a lot. But a part of him feels that he wants to be single. He says we’re so young and this is the time to enjoy the company of friends and what not(and its not that I didn’t let him hang out with his friends). He says he wants me to realize that there is so much more to life than just him and then maybe we could be together. I do admit that after this break up it made me realized that I lived and breathed him. I loved myself when I was with him. He thinks its hard for two people to be together for so long at such a young age. He is very closed with his emotions. We used to fight so much because he is so closed off and I would call him heartless. He tells me he thinks there are so many guys that can love me because I was a very good girlfriend to him.He said I am loving, caring, honest, loyal, not jealous, supportive, and he never once doubted my love for him. I begged him to not do this and at first he was there for me. This was a few days after the break up. He responded to my texts and he would say he would be lying if he said he never wanted to be with me but right now the break up seems the best. He says he has taken me for granted and he needs this time to learn to appreciate each other. This break up with either make us even closer or make us realize that we aren’t meant to be. I would ask him if he thinks we are meant to be and he would say “I don’t know. As of right yes because I love you and I don’t know life without you.” He says he doesn’t know if he could love another girl like he loved me, but this break up isn’t about other girls. I smothered him and continued to beg him to the point he finally said I am making things worse. I called him on his birthday which was about a week after our break up and he was telling me he felt so free but he tried to explain that I didn’t make him feel trapped he just can’t explain it. I asked him when can we talk because I miss talking to him the most he was my best friend after all. He said when all the emotions are gone ideally when we are seeing other people. He hurt me so much that I told him I kind of wished I could just take away the love I have for him and he responded ‘Really?’ like as if his feelings were hurt. I’ve had no contact with him since. It’s been about a month since NC. He didn’t even wish me a happy thanksgiving :/. I wander maybe thats why he hasn’t contacted me because I said that. His family absolutely adores me. His mother even cried when she found out we broke up. She went as far as saying it was his lost and that I would be a daughter to her no matter what. My family on the other hand doesn’t care about him because they think I can do so much better. I still speak to his sister and she told me right now he’s missing me a lot but it doesn’t seem like seeing as how he dropped me so fast. I just don’t know what to think anymore. I can’t seem to let go. Everyone is telling me just to move on. A part of me just doesn’t want to. And a part of me wants to hate every bit of him. I don’t know where to go from here...
Seneca Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Your friends are right. It's time to move on and let go. It's not easy at first, but eventually the pain will ease. Buddha said: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Forgive him for the pain he may have caused you. And accept that he has a free will to choose to live his life.
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