kkammon Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Long story short...we dated for three year, broke up once years years on and got back together aout a month later and then broke up for good again after 3. Fast forward 9 months and we can't stop loving each other. We've been talking, seeing each other an avg of once a week and still sleeping together since the break. All because neither of us can let go. We basically didn't work because we are two completely different ppl and the minute something goes wrong he completely shuts down. Now onto the tricky part...I've also been casually seeing someone for the past 5 months who is nmadly in love with me. Like almost too much it's pushing me away. I have told him mult times I'm still in love with my ex but he thinks we are soulmates and eventually I'll fall in love with him. Yeah, he's a good distraction from the ex, but that's about where the feelings go. Neither one of them know about the extent of the others presence in my life. I keep giving the ex "time" to get over our past issues and be ready again (that's what he tells me he's doing anyway) and keep the new guy on the side just in case. Question - what the hell do I do?? Do I let the ex go since he's not committing but saying he wants to and try and let newbie heal my wounds, or break it off with newbie since the feelings are mutual and figure **** out with the ex once and for all? I know what my heart wants...but is that always the right route?
OnyxSnowfall Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I think you should end things with both of them to be honest.......... only *you* can mend yourself.......... no one else can.
mike588 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Long story short...we dated for three year, broke up once years years on and got back together aout a month later and then broke up for good again after 3. Fast forward 9 months and we can't stop loving each other. We've been talking, seeing each other an avg of once a week and still sleeping together since the break. All because neither of us can let go. We basically didn't work because we are two completely different ppl and the minute something goes wrong he completely shuts down. Now onto the tricky part...I've also been casually seeing someone for the past 5 months who is nmadly in love with me. Like almost too much it's pushing me away. I have told him mult times I'm still in love with my ex but he thinks we are soulmates and eventually I'll fall in love with him. Yeah, he's a good distraction from the ex, but that's about where the feelings go. Neither one of them know about the extent of the others presence in my life. I keep giving the ex "time" to get over our past issues and be ready again (that's what he tells me he's doing anyway) and keep the new guy on the side just in case. Question - what the hell do I do?? Do I let the ex go since he's not committing but saying he wants to and try and let newbie heal my wounds, or break it off with newbie since the feelings are mutual and figure **** out with the ex once and for all? I know what my heart wants...but is that always the right route? You know what your heart wants and that's to get back with your ex.,you are still in love with your ex. and I feel sorry for the other guy who you are using. You say you and the newbies feelings are mutual,,, didn't you just say he's madly in love with you. Regardless if you told the new guy your still in love with your ex. your still leading him on because ,, "he's a good distraction" from the ex. You have no idea of the hurt you will cause the "other guy" by playing him. Thinking about it now,,, no I don't feel sorry for the other guy,,I feel sorry for you.
leoc1973 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Ever see the movie the mexican? the part where julia roberts asks brad pitt "when 2 people truly love each other and just can't get it together when is enough enough?" and brad says "never". You only get one love of your life keep trying! Before he gets away!
stunned8165 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Long story short...we dated for three year, broke up once years years on and got back together aout a month later and then broke up for good again after 3. Fast forward 9 months and we can't stop loving each other. We've been talking, seeing each other an avg of once a week and still sleeping together since the break. All because neither of us can let go. We basically didn't work because we are two completely different ppl and the minute something goes wrong he completely shuts down. Now onto the tricky part...I've also been casually seeing someone for the past 5 months who is nmadly in love with me. Like almost too much it's pushing me away. I have told him mult times I'm still in love with my ex but he thinks we are soulmates and eventually I'll fall in love with him. Yeah, he's a good distraction from the ex, but that's about where the feelings go. Neither one of them know about the extent of the others presence in my life. I keep giving the ex "time" to get over our past issues and be ready again (that's what he tells me he's doing anyway) and keep the new guy on the side just in case. Question - what the hell do I do?? Do I let the ex go since he's not committing but saying he wants to and try and let newbie heal my wounds, or break it off with newbie since the feelings are mutual and figure **** out with the ex once and for all? I know what my heart wants...but is that always the right route? That's a sad game to be playing. You need to let go of the standby guy before you hurt him.
Author kkammon Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 Thanks all for your feedback. I know I'm hurting newbie. I mis-quoted in my original post though. I meant to say that the feelings *aren't* mutual with him. I feel bad for him too.... I've honestly tried breaking if off with him multiple times and he refuses to accept it. We work together, so that's a huge problem too. I don't want to make things awkward at work. I honestly have let it progress this long because I keep hoping my feelings for him will deepen, but it's been 5 months, don't you think they would've by now?? I'm just so flippin confused... and trust me, this back and forth is tearing me apart too. Newbie "seems" so right for me, he's perfect, but everything "feels" right with the ex. ie, my heart feels complete with him, with newbie, something is missing. Unfortunately, I haven't found a way to turn my back on it yet. Maybe I just enjoy pain and suffering. I don't know... why can't love be easy???
mike588 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Thanks all for your feedback. I know I'm hurting newbie. I mis-quoted in my original post though. I meant to say that the feelings *aren't* mutual with him. I feel bad for him too.... I've honestly tried breaking if off with him multiple times and he refuses to accept it. We work together, so that's a huge problem too. I don't want to make things awkward at work. I honestly have let it progress this long because I keep hoping my feelings for him will deepen, but it's been 5 months, don't you think they would've by now?? I'm just so flippin confused... and trust me, this back and forth is tearing me apart too. Newbie "seems" so right for me, he's perfect, but everything "feels" right with the ex. ie, my heart feels complete with him, with newbie, something is missing. Unfortunately, I haven't found a way to turn my back on it yet. Maybe I just enjoy pain and suffering. I don't know... why can't love be easy??? You sound like my ex. She told me the same thing, that I was so right for her,I'm perfect etc. but she dumped me after a year to go back with her ex. I was wrecked,, it still hurts alittle after 4 months,, be very careful with the new guy. I know your heart is still with your ex. and if you two get back together your really gonna hurt the new guy and that's not fair to him,, I know the pain he will feel.
Bearlythere Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 please quite stringing the newbie along!! That is not right!
CaliBabe Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I think before you start anything with either one, you take some time to yourself and figure out what you want. Do either one of these fellas posess the traits you want in a man. Spend some time with yourself first and then make an informed decision, it isn't right to either to string them along.
Bazamu Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 We all know that posting on here telling them what they should do. Only they can change it. My ex was stringing me along, while she was getting with this other guy and was making sure I was right there, if something failed. No matter what you tell them, their conscience will think different. No matter how much you tell someone to do this and that. You are the only one who can change it. I am hellbent over my exgf and how she has treated me, until this guy she is getting with said he wanted to get with her. I tell her good luck with that one, it will be shortly lived, since he has a horrible past and has cheated on his previous GF 16 times!
SkyEmtRN Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Don't leave the person you love for the person you like, becuase the person you like will leave you for the person they love.
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