steve566 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 So broke up 3.5 months ago, tried getting her back then went nc... she came begging for me back after 2.5 months, we hung out but never did anything but kiss, after 1 week of awkwardness she said it didn't feel the same and didn't want to keep trying. I got pissed and told her that she is crazy would never be happy with anyone til she's able to be happy with herself. Told her that i didn't care if she contacted me because i didn't want her back anymore, she was silent for a week or two but then the calls started coming, now we have hung out every day this week and have actually been having fun because theres no pressure anymore. It seems like acting like i don't care is very effective but now i've started caring again.. what do i do, I'm exhausted by all this. she is everything i want in a women but is so confused about what she wants that it is throwing me for a loop every couple weeks. She was never like this when we dated
Author steve566 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 Update; were still hanging out a few times a week, I think the key is time management ... to much and she gets bored.. to little and she seems to want me more. We still aren't having sex but are kissing and flirting... she must feel comfortable around me because she will walk nude in front of me. I asked her the other night what's going on between us, she said she wasn't sure but just wanted to have fun. She says she loves me and hasn't talked to any guys since we broke up. I think she's worried that the romantic feelings aren't there, how do change this? I'm just gonna take it slow and not pressure her
smokey bear Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 well you can either continue to torture yourself with the chance that one day she turns round and says oh by the way its over, im seeing someone else, or you can grab your balls and tell her to **** or get off the pan. shes had way long enough time. look at this way, what got you results? nc! Is what your doing getting results? no! Back to nc, force a decision yourself unless this a case where you treated her bad and she left you but even at that she cant keep pulling the "i dont know what i want" card. If this was one of your friends going through this what would you advise him to do?
Author steve566 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 I definitely agree a decision has to be made soon but I'm waiting til there is a lil more of a romantic connection made, I feel that forcing a decision will make her run. I already did no contact and that caused her to beg for me back talking of marriage and love but then a few days later she said it wasn't the same blah blah... she is under a ton of stress with school so I think forcing a decision would be a bad idea. If we don't start having more meaningful dates and don't start having sex I will probably end it myself... I love her but its been 4 months so I'm ready to move on with or without her. One thing that does spark my interest is that I was planning to move away and she got really sad and said to wait til she is done with school so we can plan to move somewhere together... who knows I'm not gonna see her for 2 weeks while she's away for the holidays so maybe ill hold back on calling and texting her and let her miss me a bit
Author steve566 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 oh yea forgot to mention that i do think where im at with her is a postive result, compared to the last time we were together which was uncomfortable and akward. Where having fun and enjoying each others company, i told her straight up if where not having fun together than theres no point in hanging out. ##thank you for the response, it is nice to hear other peoples opinion and get an outside perspective.
Milocat Posted December 19, 2011 Posted December 19, 2011 I definitely agree a decision has to be made soon but I'm waiting til there is a lil more of a romantic connection made, I feel that forcing a decision will make her run. I already did no contact and that caused her to beg for me back talking of marriage and love but then a few days later she said it wasn't the same blah blah... she is under a ton of stress with school so I think forcing a decision would be a bad idea. If we don't start having more meaningful dates and don't start having sex I will probably end it myself... I love her but its been 4 months so I'm ready to move on with or without her. One thing that does spark my interest is that I was planning to move away and she got really sad and said to wait til she is done with school so we can plan to move somewhere together... who knows I'm not gonna see her for 2 weeks while she's away for the holidays so maybe ill hold back on calling and texting her and let her miss me a bit I know everyone is different but when my fiance and I broke up the first thing we did was rip each others' clothes off once it was established were were going to try again. And heck,,, even before that it was an effort not to bow-chicka-chicka-bow-bow. I agree with Smokey-Bear unfortunately.
Author steve566 Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 hmm... maybe you guys are right, she has never been a very sexual person from the beginning but it has been 4 months for both of us and we have been hanging out off and on for 3 weeks with no sex (just some kissing and fondling). I think its partly my fault because I'm scared to overstep my boundaries with her thinking it will hurt my chances. Maybe next time we have a few drinks i will not bring it up but rather just go for it. She teases me though by changing with the door open and showering in front of me which drives me nut... i really feel that sex will be a major key to bringing back those romantic feelings. Also before she left town for the holidays she had brought up plans for the future that included both of us and she bought me an expensive christmas gift which i defiantly wasn't expecting.
Author steve566 Posted December 20, 2011 Author Posted December 20, 2011 I guess i should include this in the beginning but about 1.5 months b4 the break up she quit taking here anti depressant meds... she seemed pretty miserable and didn't get back on them until about 1 month ago. Since she got back on her meds she has been much happier and reaching out to me more and were actually having fun again. One of the side effects of zoloft (her med) is decreased sexual drive, so maybe this has something to do with my current situation. Any input?
Recommended Posts