Veryconfused12345 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Hi Lovely Supportive Online Breakup People! This place has been such a massive help since I took the plunge and started writing about my devastating breakup. It's been 2 and a half months and am sort of at a new level of disgust and confusion. I honestly don't know what to think about this anymore so some other interpretations would be so appreciated! Long story short, my fiance dumped me because he felt I wasn't happy with him (very low self esteem) and despite my frantic begging decided it was for the best. He then jumped into a relationship with a very pushy girl about 3 weeks after ending it because he "felt he needed to move on." But shockingly, he realized that he had made a mistake and had misintepreted my signals (maybe this had something to do with the fact I was throwing myself at him). He came back about a week ago saying he's desperate to have me back, loves me, and while he likes this new girl realizes I am his soulmate and that he wants the life we planned together. I am/was tempted to welcome him back but am really struggling with the feeling he cheated on me by dating and sleeping with another woman so soon after leaving me while I desperetly waited for him. I don't take sex lightly and I was so sure he didn't either and that he would at least need time to collect his thoughts before moving into something new. To make matters worse, I asked if we could work on things and he asked for a few days to end things with her so as not to devastate her and then some time alone to get his head together before getting me back. Is this fair to ask for? I can't help but think, if someone is the love of your life, you put everything on the line to make them feel they can trust you again. I feel like he's worried about her feelings and then his and then mine. I can't believe I feel like the other woman here when we were suppossed to be starting a life together. I want to forgive him but I wonder what other people would do in this situation? If this was one of my friends I would say this guy is a confused jerk who needs to grow up. But as it's me in the middle of this and despite everything that's happened I sincerely love the guy, I'm not sure what to do. The truely sad thing is I have this vague notion that we're eventually meant to be together. Should I try to force myself to drop this completely or is there something left to fight for? Thanks so much
twinkles Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 You are really having a hard time with this aren't you. A long ,long time ago I was in the exact situtation you are in right now. Everthing was great .then one day we fought, we split and he found another woman. I fought to get him back and eventually he did come back. I forgave him. Life with him progressed... All was going well...we became engaged started to plan a wedding. As the plans progressed I just looked at him one day and said to myself I can't marry this guy. When I looked at him I realized that I had lost complete respect for him. The man I had fought so hard to win back, the man I had loved so much and was planning to marry was now knocked off the pedestal I had put him on. I broke it off. I wished I had realized when I was trying to win him back he wasn't worth the effort. Will you end up in the same situation years from now? Is it really worth it? Search your soul and find the answer. I think you already know the answer. I read it in your confusion. I'm a bit of a romantic and believe in second chances but make sure the person you are giving the second chance to truly deserves the second chance.
mike588 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 He loves you, he's desperate to have you back and to start a life with you but needs time to let her down easy?? WHAT,,, WHAT???? No if he really feels that way towards you he would drop her in a heart beat!
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