yzyzyz325 Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I was so confused after I talked with my co-workers and friends. My best female friend fights and argues with her bf quite often, almost once per 3 days, but their relationship seems to be very well; my co-worker, she doesn't have many common interests with her husband, they dont even shop together, but they are still very happy and very sweet to each other. And another friend, he doesn't have common interests with his wife neither, but they are still happy tgt. Compared with them, I feel my ex and me shud be the happiest couple since we dont fight, we have almost same opinions to everything. Yes, we may not have many same interests, she likes playing tennis, I like playing baseball; she likes baking, I like cooking; she likes french food, I knw nothing abt French food..... but we also have many same interests, it's just we never had the chance to do that tgt which was not just my fault, she was the one who didn't share stuffs. Yes, she had reason to feel bored, bcoz I didn’t know much abt this city since I had only been here for 3 yrs as a student. I already tried very hard to figure out wat to do tgt, but I needed time and money to make those plans work. She, on the other hand, had been here for 8 yrs, if she felt bored, why didn’t she plan sth to have fun? She didn’t know what to do, and complained me for not giving her fun? Any thoughts, please?
twinkles Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I don't think it's fun she needs. She is looking at you to make her happy. You could spend your lifetime trying to do things that will make her happy but you know what ..if she is not happy within herself you will just end up feeling miserable and defeated trying to make her happy. Two people can be just siting in a room together doing nothing and be two of the happiest people in the world.
KathyM Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Dating is a trial period when two people learn if they are compatable for the long term. If you aren't putting a lot of effort into the relationship, and she feels she's not getting much out of it, and it becomes boring to her, she's likely to bail. Just a fact of life. It's important for couples to find common interests and do fun and interesting things together to keep their relationship fresh and enjoyable. Otherwise, they're likely to look elsewhere for that fun that they are missing in the relationship.
Author yzyzyz325 Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 I don't think it's fun she needs. She is looking at you to make her happy. You could spend your lifetime trying to do things that will make her happy but you know what ..if she is not happy within herself you will just end up feeling miserable and defeated trying to make her happy. Two people can be just siting in a room together doing nothing and be two of the happiest people in the world. That's what I feel. If I really love someone, I would not care what to do tgt. But on the orther hand, I dont know if it's gonna work in long run
Author yzyzyz325 Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 Dating is a trial period when two people learn if they are compatable for the long term. If you aren't putting a lot of effort into the relationship, and she feels she's not getting much out of it, and it becomes boring to her, she's likely to bail. Just a fact of life. It's important for couples to find common interests and do fun and interesting things together to keep their relationship fresh and enjoyable. Otherwise, they're likely to look elsewhere for that fun that they are missing in the relationship. I do believe that each side needs to put a lot of effort to make a relationship work even so they are compatible and meant to be tgt. People are always different, it's impossible to find two ppl who totally match. There will always be problems between two. When a smart couple has problems, the first thing to do is try to solve it rather than run away and find another one, bcoz u will always find other problems with another person. In my case, I was always the one who tried very hard to make things work. From my previous experience, I know that I need to be more active in a relationship, and I always need to open my mind to her so she would knw where the problem is and solve it asap. Otherwise, the problems will be accumulated till one day no one can handle it anymore. However, she didnt have experience b4, so she made all the mistakes I made in my first relationship, like never taking the initiative, not contributing much to the relationship, waiting for the other's move, not so sharing or caring, and so on. That's why I felt tired in the relationship bcoz I had to plan almost everything, and she just needed to be the receiver without worrying anything but her own stuffs.
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