PlentyLV007 Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 I've gotten to the point where I've gone up to guys and have offered to buy them a drink and get to one a lot of different people that way....Is that weird? Is that desperate? My guy friends think that's great but my girl friends are like EWWWW! Is this weird? I just thought of trying on the other shoe....seeing how guys react to it...Plus I get to know and meet great people. I think that women should go up to guys. Why do some women think that is bad? Link to post Share on other sites
Shasta Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Some women believe that the guy should make the first moves. I personally don't see it that way. If I like a guy, I will go up and talk to them, flirt, give them my number, etc. I don't see why we should be constricted to sitting around, waiting for someone to ask us out. Also, some women lack confidence to actually go up to a guy. Some are shy and can't get up the nerves to go talk to them. What women don't understand is, usually guys love having a girl go up to them. They get to brag that they got hit on. Link to post Share on other sites
cowgirl Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 No! Its not desperate. Times are changing. If your looking to meet someone and your not shy than why not go up and chat or buy them a drink, whatever you like. If I were a guy I reckon Id like it. Alot of guys are shy to. Years ago I wouldn't do it but now I would, you've got nothing to lose. I work in retail and I served a guy a few months ago and I took his mobile number off the reciept and sent him a text message a few weeks later and asked him out. He took me to lunch and we stayed in contact and were to go on another date but it didn't happen. I was dissapointed but I made a friend out of it anyway. My friends couldn't believe I did it either. You don't know if you don't ask... Link to post Share on other sites
MsLandon Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 My feeling is that I wouldn't want to be with a man who didn't have enough "balls" to risk rejection and come up to me to introduce himself. Plus I feel like if a man isn't willing to do that, then he's probably not that interested in getting to know you seriously anyway. I agree that times are changing and that there are times when I go up to men and start conversations, but it's never to try to date them just to be friendly and socialize. I've met some pretty entertaining people that way too. I've also always had good male friends. They all say that it's refreshing to have women come up to them and flirt and hit on them, but when it comes down to it, each and every one of them who are married or have serious LTR's chased those women. They were inspired to act on their attraction, chase and capture them and they enjoyed every bit of it. Link to post Share on other sites
packersgirl Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 I was always taught to let a man approach you. However, I have never lived by that policy. Any guy I have ever been interested in, I have told. Sure, I've been rejected, but thats just part of life. I feel that a man should pursue a woman, and I've even made a promise to myself to let men start chasing me, instead of the other way around (but I'm breaking that promise tomorrow...) After talking with two of my best friends, I realized that men are just as shy as women. I know now that the guy I'm interested in has only pursued one girl, and he and I have had discussions about how shy he can be at times. Plus, it makes it a lot easier on a man too when a woman makes the first move. We can't expect them to do everything now, can we? Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Originally posted by MsLandon My feeling is that I wouldn't want to be with a man who didn't have enough "balls" to risk rejection and come up to me to introduce himself. Plus I feel like if a man isn't willing to do that, then he's probably not that interested in getting to know you seriously anyway. I agree that times are changing and that there are times when I go up to men and start conversations, but it's never to try to date them just to be friendly and socialize. I've met some pretty entertaining people that way too. I've also always had good male friends. They all say that it's refreshing to have women come up to them and flirt and hit on them, but when it comes down to it, each and every one of them who are married or have serious LTR's chased those women. They were inspired to act on their attraction, chase and capture them and they enjoyed every bit of it. Personally, my feeling is that I wouldn't want to be with a woman who didn't have enough "guts" (or perhaps ovaries?) to risk rejection and come up to me to introduce herself. Plus I feel like if a woman isn't willing to do that, then she's probably not that interested in getting to know you seriously anyway. World is a changin and as a shy guy its rather nice to have a woman show interest in me and ask me out. Why should guys suffer all the rejection? Why should gals have all that power of rejection? Too much of an old school mindset that if she's a askin, then she's lookin for a booty call. That may be true but not always. If I find a girl I like that asked me out, chances are I'm going to "chase her" in other ways to win her heart and not expect that since she was the first to ask me out that I should just sit back and let her do all the work. I know as a man what thats like and its not always "enjoyable". To be honest, these days "the chase" hardly seems worth it but I am just a bit bitter. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 We can't expect them to do everything now, can we? What's this? Not sticking to gender stereotypes? Trying to be fair? You rebel! You bold little upstart! Link to post Share on other sites
paradyme Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 For what it's worth, as a man here, sometimes the problem is that you see the same girl getting hit on by every player looking type in the joint and you just think, why do I want to be just another one? In my mind sometimes I just think we all came out for the same reason: just to chill and have fun. What could be less fun than fending off the approaches of a bunch of guys who have only 1 thing on their mind? Girls complain about that all the time, and I wouldn't want to be "that guy" from the bar, or even look like I might have been... It doesn't come down to having balls- all men have them, but not all men have respect for women, and certainly not all deserve it from them either... having the stones to buy a woman a drink is not indicative of having the desire to get to know her on any level. Link to post Share on other sites
average guy Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Congratulations, PlentyLV007! I've always said women should go for it if they want to - more power to them! I also agree with paradyme, a man offering to buy a woman a drink shows nothing about the size of his balls (maybe about the size of his wallet, but that's another matter). A man with balls would respect a woman enough to wait and see if she is interested in him before he forces a drink upon her. I perosnally have never bought a woman a drink and am proud of it. If I like a woman, I ask her to do something fun instead Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 I'd like to see more women go up to guys. I'm sick and tired of some women being so stubborn, that if you do not call them or approach them first they give up completely, even if they were quite interested. The other night at the diner I ran into this girl, Stacey, who exchanged numbers with me months ago. She told me to phone her and I did, but then she did not phone me back after a while. A few months after that we ran into one another again, re-exchanged numbers, and I said "If you want to talk you can call me." Well, Friday night at the diner I run into her again and she asks why I never called. I simply said, "You had my number, too. If you wanted to talk, or were interested, you could have called me." She simply replied, "You are the guy. You are supposed to call." All I could say is, "You complain about being single. Maybe if you called people you could change that." Then I went back to my coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 I am all for asking for a guy's number, buying him a drink or suggesting an outing. Why not? I mean, if we just leave it up to them all the time then we may never meet someone in whom we are truly interested... It's certainly made me see how hard it is. Sometimes you get the number and it's great. Rejection happens sometimes and that stinks. So it goes. Only fair that both sexes get rejected, no? In faux's case, sometimes you even get the number and you get rejected by not having the phone call returned. Ouch. I totally feel your pain, faux. I called a guy Wednesday with whom I had several great conversations and he hasn't called back. You're right, BTW faux, she should've called you. Why do some people think that women approaching men is bad? Because they are living in another time mentally, IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
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