chados Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 well i feel like im over my ex girlfriend. its not bugging me thats she got facebook. but i thought, maybe its good to erase all the messages between us two that are saved. and of course i read all of them. i had no need to do it actually, but i felt totally fine so why not? i was gonna delete it anyway. there's one message that she sent when i was in spain on vacation. i always remember that one, it was very special to me. normally we had contact every day, but for some reason i didnt contact her the first 4-5 days, i believe it was a relief to just be with my friends, i felt pressured by the relationship, and didnt know what i wanted, even though i loved her, i wasnt sure if i was in love with her. on the message it said please come home now, i dont think ive ever missed you this much, i love you. i know how stupid this is, of course i should have contacted her. anyway, just those words made me feel like an idiot and i started to feel guilt, and i just wanted to go home and give her a huge hug. she was very needy, i think she almost loved me to much, thats why i just dont understand how she could break up with me and not the other way around, i guess guys just have a hard time to let the other person go. 5 months after the trip to spain we broke up. i had this feeling that she changed to much, she started to become very bossy, she started to act like her mom a little, not that her mom is bossy, but she's very stressful, i just wanted some time alone with her, not with her whole family every time, and that made me feel uncomfortable, so i changed, i wasn't the guy she fell in love with, and i knew that. and the mainreason for that wasnt about not being alone with her once in a while. it was because she changed, she felt like i didnt care about her so she got reserved, and she didn't tell me anything, she was just waiting for me to change. just lack of communication. maybe i felt like this was the best thing to do. but i cant tell you how hurt i was when she said, i want to break up with you. i think that was my fault a little, i pushed her to much because i was sad, she became cold and tested me. if i had acted different we would might be together now, but i guess this really is for the best since i've been thinking about this a lot before she did. she said, i dont feel like you care about me anymore, i started to feel like that when you were in spain when she broke up with me, and that gives that message even more meaning to me. im not gonna lie, im a little angry with her, she was acting like a 13 year old girl. you know when a person dont tell you that something is wrong because they dont wanna hurt you?. and when you push them to choose they leave. they dont know your hurting even more by not knowing. this is not only my fault, not by far. but when i read that it really made me feel terrible, its just something with that darn message that makes me feel like a bad person, a man that couldn't give her the love she needed anyone else out there that feel guilt for not being the best you can be?
silly_panda Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I feel the same too... Similar story... She was really in love with me, more than I love her... She actually tolerate and compromised with me a lot but I just did not see that during the relationship... And I did thought we were strong and she will never break up with me... She did told me that we have problems like we got nothing to talk lately... But I just brush that off and thought it's normal to feel that since we talk every single day through IM and text... She see that as a problem but I don't... So like your ex, my ex expect me to change and hope that things will be better... Instead of talking it straight out and clear with me, she just kept it inside... When after the break up, I asked her why she didn't just tell me everything and we can fix it..? She said "There is no point if I have to tell you everything... You need to find out for yourself..." She expect me to read her mind..? Communication problem again there... I do read back the text messages that she sent me... And after reading through it carefully, I did see some signs that she is hinting me about the problems... But it's just too late now I guess... I too feel guilty for the way I treated her... Only after the break up I realized that I did not give her the best that I could... I guess we will never really know what we got til it's gone...
Space Ritual Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 Man alive come on! deleting those texts were the best thing you could have done for yourself. It was short term, it didnt work out....it wont be your first and it wont be your last. seriously a much as people think its corny...Time...Time....Time....thats how you get through it. You were searching perhaps for some deeper meaning maybe you needed some reassurance that at one point she loved and needed you. Those are very powerful feelings to just toss fo course, but really time will help greatly..
Author chados Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 I feel the same too... Similar story... She was really in love with me, more than I love her... She actually tolerate and compromised with me a lot but I just did not see that during the relationship... And I did thought we were strong and she will never break up with me... She did told me that we have problems like we got nothing to talk lately... But I just brush that off and thought it's normal to feel that since we talk every single day through IM and text... She see that as a problem but I don't... So like your ex, my ex expect me to change and hope that things will be better... Instead of talking it straight out and clear with me, she just kept it inside... When after the break up, I asked her why she didn't just tell me everything and we can fix it..? She said "There is no point if I have to tell you everything... You need to find out for yourself..." She expect me to read her mind..? Communication problem again there... i know, ive read your posts, were in the same boat. i believe its a girlthing. and i believe that they want us to understand them more then we actually can. this is the most common i guess. and then you got this one. "sometimes" if they dont tell you what they dont like, maybe they dont value the relationship itself? people often tend to stay with the other person just because they dont wanna be alone. and they dont even know that. about my ex dont wanna work things out. maybe not, but she has been showing alot of emotions towards me, this doesn't mean she wants to get back, but im preety sure she's not completely over me. i dont think i would take her back anyway.
Author chados Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 Man alive come on! deleting those texts were the best thing you could have done for yourself. It was short term, it didnt work out....it wont be your first and it wont be your last. seriously a much as people think its corny...Time...Time....Time....thats how you get through it. You were searching perhaps for some deeper meaning maybe you needed some reassurance that at one point she loved and needed you. Those are very powerful feelings to just toss fo course, but really time will help greatly.. i agree, i know it was the right thing to do. and i actually feel like im over her, and dont even want her back. and i shouldn't feel guilt about anything. and to tell you the truth, im al right again. but it did hurt me to remove some of the best memories i've got with her. im not gonna tell her about it, but it still felt like i did something bad against her. maybe im just to nice for my own good. in other words, pathetic
Author chados Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 Man alive come on! deleting those texts were the best thing you could have done for yourself. It was short term, it didnt work out....it wont be your first and it wont be your last. seriously a much as people think its corny...Time...Time....Time....thats how you get through it. You were searching perhaps for some deeper meaning maybe you needed some reassurance that at one point she loved and needed you. Those are very powerful feelings to just toss fo course, but really time will help greatly.. i agree, i know it was the right thing to do. and i actually feel like im over her, and dont even want her back. and i shouldn't feel guilt about anything. and to tell you the truth, im al right again. but it did hurt me to remove some of the best memories i've got with her. im not gonna tell her about it, but it still felt like i did something bad against her. maybe im just to nice for my own good. in other words, pathetic
Author chados Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 hm. woke up today and started to think about her. under 1 months time i've felt like i really dont want her back. maybe i got gigs?. i mean she broke up with me, and yeah i had some rough weeks. but overall i've been great. since im not familiar with gigs myself, "never had it". is it normal to get it 3 months after a breakup? or does it come earlier?
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