Nickelbee Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Hi, I havent been here for a while to post. Just a thought. I didnt receive any, besides 100% sure blocked calls from ex 2 months in a row, but then they stopped, since I did strict NC. How do I know its her? I had it traced (I have a job where I pretty much can ask the police in no time so they did). I never responded. And the calls stopped. I know she was on one date a month after BU - then the calls cam - then they stopped. The thing is - blocked calls a-k-a breadcrumbs came after she was feeling "lonely"/no ego boost i think. Maybe she wanted me to call her etc? I dont know, but many indications on that (including fb messages on my friends wall). I never blocked her. Im stronger than that. She still keeps one of my closest friends as a friend - deleted a whole bunch other including me. He asked me if he should delete her - I told him not to. Dont feed her ego. It's maybe a game, but "we dont care"...Its her choice, as she is the one who broke up as well. Im the dumpee, and I just dont care about facebook, and her pictures and whatnot...and I really dont, because I know how fake she can be on fb. The latter i realized after the break up. I was literally the best boyfriend in the world one eek prior. Now thats fake. So obc. a lot of fake statuses - why care? Im happy means - > miserable. Reason Im writing this is that I visited a dating site - was thinking of making a profile. There she was! What a "shock". And the profile was made some days after the calls stopped. I'm so happy that I didnt waste my time - besides 2 initial months - to ignore myself. I've packed on some muscles, opened a shop additional to working as before, looking better than ever, and going for a six pack before summer. After seeing her picture - I cant really explain what I felt....It's like - you know her but dont...She was a player when I met her, and went back to being a player I guess. I get Wilsons phrase; "Save a hoe" in my head now hahaha....I made my profile - we matched - right - but I havent put any profile pic yet....Don't know....I dont want to appear as a stalker, and Im really not. It was pure, weird coincidence....I dont ever check her fb even... Anyhow, its been a while now. She has every right to move on, and so do I. The blocked calls gave me some hope, but TO ALL MEN UNDERSTAND THIS; THEY CARE BUT NOT ENOUGH AND WANT TO STRING YOU ALONG TILL THEY FIND SOMEONE ELSE IF THEY LOST INTEREST! I know my faults...It's a pity that i let myself go->loss of interest/attraction. she wont see my old habits die. People can change...I know I did....I had to re-evaluate my whole child/youth/adulthood before I realized i was a bit co-dependent. Not anymore - maybe a bit still - but not as before. Some people change to get ex back...I started out like that, but then I realized: I must change for better for MYSELF! In one way Im thankfull for the BU because it opened my eyes. She was aplayer, but I know she was very serious for many months. My bad. Mybe it eventually would have died out anyway. It's my rant but....I think I'll be fine or maybe better in the long run.... Anyways the point is: Do care if you want, but dont let the ex consume you. They are actuallu ut having fun. You are miserable. Be a better person. Forgive, let go, forgive yourself, and be stronger, wiser, better and more loving.
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