Henry Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Hello there. We're both 16 and I really like her. She likes me (I won't go into saying why etc) but it's like she doesn't want to get closer to me as she thinks I will end up hurting her (ironically, that is my fear). I hardly sit near her in school and don't really talk to her in person; we text sometimes daily - but it's just conversation - not anything pertinent. It's like she's not interested (but I know for a fact she is). It must be remembered that she is extremley shy and hardly makes eye contact with anyone! Any suggestions? It's torturing me and actually makes me angry! Thanks.
SomewhatExperienced Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 High school's a tough time for dating, particularly dating people who go to the same high school. I'd say that more often than not the peak of most people's self-esteem issues take place during this time. It's only after people relax and grow more confident in their own skin. As far as this girl is concerned, she likely doesn't have much, if any, dating experience. She probably doesn't even realize you like her or if she does she's doubting it constantly. Be brave, but gentle. Ask her out for a coffee (or cake. There was this cake place I used to love to bring girls on first dates. Girls love cake). Nothing big or daunting, but try to not be ambiguous that you're asking her out. Try to make it so she isn't doing a lot of guessing about if you like her or not. Slowly initiate contact until the point you hold her hand (and then so on). And you don't need to hold her hand on the first date, but try to hav enough contact that show that you're trying to make contact. If she goes on a second date with you than you know you're in the clear to make the next steps. Funny enough, I'm 25 and seeing a wonderful girl. I was frustrated that I wasn't getting a lot of physical feedback from my cues to her our first few dates. I had to be more direct and take a leap of faith and finally just put my arms around her at a concert. She responded very positively and from then on, we've had much more progress. It just required a more obvious demonstation for her to realize that I actually liked her. She was then able to relax and open up. Some people are really good a picking up on subtle signals, and some people aren't.
DearAbby Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 You are going to have to make more of an effort to slowly start talking to her more at school and get her to warm up before asking her to do something out of school. She has to get more comfortable with you.
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