zyx Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 About 6 weeks ago I met this guy on a train. He started talking to me, and we found out that he lives in the same city as a good friend of mine. He wrote down his number and mail and after that I gave him mine. I contacted him about a week later as we had losely arranged to meet up and we met for dinner. I got a mail later on, saying that he's glad to know I got home safely (I live about a 2h drive away and he had asked me to let him know). Didn't hear anything for about 1,5-2 weeks after which I send a happy holiday text. He replied asking what I was doing on the weekend. We met up again the weekend after and had a good time. This time I realized that I would like to get to know him better. I send him a text the next day whether he'd felt like meeting up before I had to leave town. He didn't reply (he can only call or email). As I was surprised by my own sudden interest in him and somehow confused I emailed him 2 days later. Saying that I enjoyed myself and would like to get to know him better. That I'd also realized that I was the one initiating contact. And that he should let me know if he'd want to see me again. That was about 2 days ago. I now feel pretty stupid and I guess I should give ppl time to breath. I might also have been a bit too direct or obsessiv...
KathyM Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Men usually like to be the pursuer in the relationship, and if you are the only one doing the pursuing, I would guess that to mean that he's not that into you. I would suggest you back off and don't initiate contact anymore for awhile. Wait for him to initiate. If he feels like it was his idea to pursue, he'll be more invested in getting to know you.
Author zyx Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 @ Kathy: Thank you for your advice! I will do that. Would be nice if he'd contact me... but like you said, it's up to him.
make me believe Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 You weren't obsessive, but if he was interested he wouldn't have let 1-2 weeks go by without any contact. Especially since you ended up having to contact him first anyway. You should let this one go.. he's made it pretty clear that he is not interested in pursuing anything with you.
Author zyx Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 Thank you for your thoughts on this. I've been having the same. It still always confuses me when ppl seem to be interested when you meet them and then their actions (not contacting you) speak a different language. With this guy I found it especially weird. He had an appointment after we met for the 2nd time and I'd offered to drop him off. He thanked me but said he didn't want to trouble me. When we said our good-byes later he totally caught me off-guard by saying sth like 'is there a script when to kiss?'. I said there isn't but that he shouldn't (not sure I heard him correctly) and then somebody else started talking to us and we didn't pick up the topic again. The guy I was with did end up asking me for the ride. Ah well, maybe he just wanted to have "some fun" or make it easy for himself by not having to use p. transport.
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