Cupiddd86 Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Hey Everyone, So I recently got back together with my ex (long distance) only to break up again. The reasons were obvious; she found me to pushy and she felt suffocated. (she was right) This and some minor fights caused her to break up with me. While being around she told me she was sick and tired of me and left for home. (was thinking of blocking me she told me) When she went home I noticed that she hadn't actually blocked me anywhere.. she actually still came online on everything (fb, skype etc) and she still spoke to me. We had a big talk and I told her my feelings and told her I'd give her time to sort her feelings out. A couple of days after this she suddenly became pushy on Skype, I didn't answer (took 5 minutes to answer) and she suddenly started asking me if I was ignoring her. Obviously I wasn't; and I told her, she just replied really casual with oh well normally you were faster on replying. Today I had a long talk with her and she actually told me she has really strong feelings for me but she just doesn't want to risk it anymore. When I told her that I don't think I can just be friends with her considering my strong feelings she just apologized to me. I asked her why she didn't want to try anymore and told its because she can see us failing in the future again. When I told her that I never really tried when we got back together before and I asked her to please listen to her feelings and give me a chance to be the guy she deserves. She just replied: "This is starting to get uncomfortable" and left. I am so confused about whats going on really and what to do. I am thinking of deleting her out of my life and just moving on but at the same time because she told me she has really strong feelings for me I feel unable to..
mike588 Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Hey Everyone, So I recently got back together with my ex (long distance) only to break up again. The reasons were obvious; she found me to pushy and she felt suffocated. (she was right) This and some minor fights caused her to break up with me. While being around she told me she was sick and tired of me and left for home. (was thinking of blocking me she told me) When she went home I noticed that she hadn't actually blocked me anywhere.. she actually still came online on everything (fb, skype etc) and she still spoke to me. We had a big talk and I told her my feelings and told her I'd give her time to sort her feelings out. A couple of days after this she suddenly became pushy on Skype, I didn't answer (took 5 minutes to answer) and she suddenly started asking me if I was ignoring her. Obviously I wasn't; and I told her, she just replied really casual with oh well normally you were faster on replying. Today I had a long talk with her and she actually told me she has really strong feelings for me but she just doesn't want to risk it anymore. When I told her that I don't think I can just be friends with her considering my strong feelings she just apologized to me. I asked her why she didn't want to try anymore and told its because she can see us failing in the future again. When I told her that I never really tried when we got back together before and I asked her to please listen to her feelings and give me a chance to be the guy she deserves. She just replied: "This is starting to get uncomfortable" and left. I am so confused about whats going on really and what to do. I am thinking of deleting her out of my life and just moving on but at the same time because she told me she has really strong feelings for me I feel unable to.. I myself just don't believe in Long Distant Relationships,, seems like they are doomed to fail. It's normal to have strong feelings for someone even after a breakup but it doesn't mean they want to stay or get back together together,don't be confuse by that. In the mean time respect her wishes and move on,, don't bother her,she knows how you feel,maybe she will change her mind down the road?
Author Cupiddd86 Posted December 8, 2011 Author Posted December 8, 2011 (edited) Thanks for your replies! I suppose I should've written down the background to shed some light on why I am so confused about it. Basically this is the 4th time we've broken up and we have broken up every time due to our communication just not being up to par. We never really did anything to try and fix the relationship. We usually just drifted apart, bumped into eachother again and got back together, only to go our separate ways. When saying strong feelings; I mean she told me she has never experienced these feelings with anyone ever before. I am having a tough time cutting her out of my life because every time I actually did try to move on; she came back to me just a while later.. On the "I can see us failing again" she has told me the same things about every time 2 break ups before.. so that's why. This seems to be our usual pattern in breaking up. Break up, couple of months of rest, get back together to try rinse repeat. This time however I've realised that I truly love this girl and decided to want to work on our problem instead of following our normal cycle. Edit: I'm really not trying to reason my way out of this.. It just seems to be more complicated then I let on first (or thats what I think) Edited December 8, 2011 by Cupiddd86
orbiting Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 What kind of communication problems are you having? If you've both identified them (even despite past failed attempts to successfully overcome them) then you have your work set out for you. If you love her - if you truly, genuinely love her - ask yourself what you have to do to fix said issues on your part. Considering that your relationship is LD, she may not have faith in its future because of those very communication issues, not because she doesn't love you enough (or some variation of that). Honestly reflect upon what it is that you should be doing to improve matters, what she should be doing from her end and talk about it. The other posters have given you very sound advice, certainly. Fluorescent in particular. And while 99% of me agrees wholeheartedly and would have told you the very same thing, the remaining 1% thinks that if there hasn't been any true reason for mistrust (cheating, abuse, etc) and if there are real feelings between the two of you .. then don't give up on it just yet.
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