witchychick Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 My ex broke up with me over a month ago on october 22nd-very early that morning/late the nite of the 21st. I still cry over him,I cried my eyes out not long ago. And I fell and hurt myself earlier and that made me wish he was here even more. Great now I'm crying again. Anyway, I met a guy tonite and he didnt seem to be into me and I'm not really into him,either. So it just makes me feel even worse and miss my ex even more when it doesnt work out with a new guy. My ex broke up with me because we argued and he wasnt happy. I went to see him a few times since the break up,the last time being November 7th. He told me he needed time. I asked him if it was over for good and he said he didnt know. But ever since,he has been ignoring me when I've contacted him. I really need to know some things and if its over for good,I need to try to get closure so I am going to go to him tonite one last time. This is something I need to do for me. I am going to do it no matter what. I am just posting here to get things out to others who have been dumped as well. Meeting that guy really made me feel even worse. Have any of you ever been in a similar situation to mine and your ex ended up contacting you? I wish he would contact me but he isnt and he hasnt been on facebook in over a month. Going to him is the only way I can talk to him since he is ignoring me. I will try to keep it as light as possible but there are a few things I need to know. Please dont tell me not to go to him. I have made my mind up. Michelle
sunflower11 Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Hey Michelle Your story sounds..a lot like mine. My ex broke up with me on September 21st-22nd ishh, he said he need time and it wasn't over forever, but he has been ignoring me ever since. The last time I tried calling him, 2 weeks ago, he hung up on me (I used a different number so he would pick up the phone). I cried my eyes out for 2 months but I have stopped. He isnt worth it and everyday I feel better. I broke NC many times before that last slap in the face, when he hung up on me, and I understood that moment that it was over, that he had lied, and that it was time for me to move on. I wanted so badly to get my closure, get some answers from him and know what the hell happened but he never cared. He just wouldn't talk to me. If you want to go talk to him, go ahead. It might be just what you need for you to finally start healing. I know for me it took many ignored calls, texts and emails...but like I said, it wasn't until that last call that really opened my eyes to the kind of jerk he was and how I didn't need him to reject me again, I didn't need him to say he was sorry or give me closure.
witchychick Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 I'm so sorry. Can I ask why he broke up with you?
sunflower11 Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 We were in a LDR in the US (different states) but for visa-related issues I had to move back to my country and he said he would be supportive and nothing would change since we were already long distance anyway. The day after I got home he started acting weird sayng he was depressed, he didn't see an end in sight, seeing me 4x a year was not enough and how he felt like he had lost me. He stopped answering my calls, would text me once a day until 2 weeks later he textd saying he needed time and it was best for him to be alone to figure things out and get on medication for his depression. Not even a month after he broke up with me he signed up to all these online dating websites (which is something he had done in the past before I came along) to find girls and have sex with them. I actually met him in school and he even said I was the first girl he was friends with before dating. I highly doubt he was even depressed and the fact that he ignored me when I was hurting the most and hung up the phone on me just tells me what kind of person he really is.
witchychick Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 I'm in the US,too. Our exes shouldnt ignore us. If they don't wanna talk to us anymore,they should tell us that. But I realize not everyone is always upfront. It still hurts,though but I wish you the best. I am going to see him tonite and I'm scared.
Standard-Fare Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 We were in a LDR in the US (different states) but for visa-related issues I had to move back to my country and he said he would be supportive and nothing would change since we were already long distance anyway. The day after I got home he started acting weird sayng he was depressed, he didn't see an end in sight, seeing me 4x a year was not enough and how he felt like he had lost me. He stopped answering my calls, would text me once a day until 2 weeks later he textd saying he needed time and it was best for him to be alone to figure things out and get on medication for his depression. Not even a month after he broke up with me he signed up to all these online dating websites (which is something he had done in the past before I came along) to find girls and have sex with them. I actually met him in school and he even said I was the first girl he was friends with before dating. I highly doubt he was even depressed and the fact that he ignored me when I was hurting the most and hung up the phone on me just tells me what kind of person he really is. Sunflower, I have to say that your ex's side of things sounds legit from what you wrote. He couldn't bear the thought of continuing in a relationship where he'd only be able to see you 4x a year. That's totally understandable and I think most people would feel that way. It sounds like he was really depressed about it and at some point realized he had to take action to make himself feel better rather than wallowing in the relationship. The actions you describe -- his going on an online dating site, ignoring contact -- sound like a lonely guy who is just trying to move on with his life. The phone hang-up might be along the same lines. I think you should consider that your attempts at contact are hard for him, and he might have to shun them in his own attempt to move on. Hearing from you might set him back on his progress. On top of that guys are just different, they don't want to have endless circular conversations about emotions like girls sometimes prefer. They are more inclined to be stoic. Of course I don't know all the details and this is just a speculation. I just think you should try to see things from his side.
witchychick Posted December 23, 2011 Posted December 23, 2011 I have a horrible update. My ex got on facebook tonite for the first time since late October. I IM'd him and he ignored me. I even told him my roommate is in the hospital{he is for now but he is ok} and he even ignored that. I said too much and also got mad but him ignoring me in my face like that made me understandably angry. I gave him a chain and he used to always wear it. I told him to give it back and he didnt reply to that either. He never replied to anything I said. He also changed his relationship status and posted a pic of a fb layout that has a half naked woman in the background. She looks like a supermodel so I wondered if that is his real type. He told me he liked my body but who knows if that was true. All the things he did tonite are like a slap in the face and say he doesnt care about me. Does this mean he doesnt care? Or didnt? He again told me he needed time the last time I saw him and when I asked if it was over for good he said he didnt know. He did act like he wanted me to let him go,though when I told him I would. But he also said those things. I keep getting hurt,too. I have for over a year by different guys and I dont know what to do. Please tell me,does this mean he didnt care?
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