Author azgirl Posted June 4, 2004 Author Posted June 4, 2004 I think perhaps we will, but ... I am NOT going to ask him if we are. I am going to continue on with the notion of moving out. However, he just informed me last night that his student loan payment is going to be $400 a month!!!!!!! I've never heard of one that high. Not quite sure about that. He said he will get a studio, blah, blah, blah. He wants to do it 'on his own.' Maybe I should move out anyway and let him do just that! But ... I did say to him that I thought we could work through this over time. He didn't say anything. Which like I said - is a good thing. I think right now I have to not rush or push in any way. I need to take things easy and continue to ive him "space." Don't worry. I think you'll be ok. Did you read TempSain's post? I think it is time you back way off. I know it is hard. But when mine was at his friend's house for the week, I didn't call him each day - I only called him twice the whole time that he was gone and briefly at that. A couple of emails and well ... those text messages - but the first 4 days - NOTHING. He needed his space and he got it and it looks like I may have salvaged this once more. Maybe. I'm not holding my breath, but it is possible.
unreal Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 You are right, that is what I need to do. It is hard to do, but it is best. I'm really glad that your situation improved. It is looking promising for you right now.
Author azgirl Posted June 4, 2004 Author Posted June 4, 2004 It does look promising, but I do not want to get my hopes up. I think I just need to take it very slowly with him. If he feels he is being "controlled." He will run again. It will be sooo much better for you if you give her some space. I know it is hard. Just try and stay busy. Go out with friends. Don't be available each time she calls. Trust me. It's time.
unreal Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 I won't call her this weekend. She said she will call me on Sunday. Honestly, I know I have made mistakes and she has made mistakes this time. No one is perfect. But I can honestly say that I really tried to win her back this time. The first time we broke up, I didn't try to win her back and let her go. I didn't do anything. And she told me this last time we got back together that had I called her back and told her how I felt, she would have never left. But like I said, I didn't do anything and we both ended up going out with other people and she got married eventually. I'm lucky that I got a second chance with her though. I'm thankful!! I can only hope that we can work this out this time. I'm hoping
Author azgirl Posted June 4, 2004 Author Posted June 4, 2004 I agree that you should not call her. She said she would call. Let her call. But for Chirst's sake, don't sit on your a** all day on Sunday and wait for the phone call. You know??? Is the weather going to be nice where you are this weekend?? Just get out and do something. Take yourself to a movie - I did a couple weeks ago. It was a nice two hour escape. Don't be afraid to just go out and do things BY YOURSELF either. I have gone to dinner by myself (awkward at first, but then ok.) In fact, sit at the bar at a restaurant. I've done that many times and always ended up talking to people and meeting new people. But, then again not everybody is like me. I can talk to anyone. But getting to know new people - even if it's just short term is fun! Strike up conversation with strangers. I do all the time. Helps take your mind off crap. I'll just bet if you back off and do some things for YOU, you'll actually feel better. Trust me on this one. And it would be good for you to have something to talk to her about besides what is going on with you two. Tell her something funny that happened to you. That's how I opened with mine. Told him I'd been dying to tell him about my friend's eight yr old son that I watch for her quite a bit and how he has discovered "the F word" Story was funny. Got him laughing and broke the ice. Got that tension out of the air and made him feel more comfortable and not on edge worrying about all the "inquiries." Then once we settled into our old pattern of interaction, we could talk about the issues. Try that! Then she will also see that you have been living life without her, as well. Not just sitting there pining away.
unreal Posted June 4, 2004 Posted June 4, 2004 azgirl, my day is now over at work. So I hope you have a good weekend and best of luck. It sounds like things will get better for you and your ex. And hopefully (fingers crossed), he won't be your ex anymore and will be your man again. Thanks for all the advice and stuff. Hopefully, my situation will turn out good. I will talk to you next week I'm sure.
Author azgirl Posted June 4, 2004 Author Posted June 4, 2004 OK, unreal. Wish you weren't going. My workday isn't over and I'll be bored without you. Best of Luck. I hope he will be my man again soon, too! Have a great weekend! Update me on Monday. T
unreal Posted June 7, 2004 Posted June 7, 2004 Originally posted by azgirl OK, unreal. Wish you weren't going. My workday isn't over and I'll be bored without you. Best of Luck. I hope he will be my man again soon, too! Have a great weekend! Update me on Monday. T AZGIRL, Well, I just wanted to thank you for all of your advice throughout my ordeal. I found out today that my relationship is over forever. I still never got the answers I wanted as to why. All I got was, "I don't know what's wrong, but I'm still in love with you but can't do this anymore and I need to be on my own" crap. However, there is much speculation of another man. I know that I never went into those details on here, but trust me there is enough to HIGHLY consider this if not PROVE IT. But I wish you luck with your man and hope the best for you.
Author azgirl Posted June 7, 2004 Author Posted June 7, 2004 unreal - I'm so sorry to hear that! At least now you are not left there hanging. Better to know than to be on pins and needles. My situation took another bad turn, as well. After last Thursday's evening together, he has gotten extremely distant again. I can't take this hot and cold business. It's driving me insane. I thought we'd reached an agreement on being friends for now and possibly working through things eventually. Now he's being rude and cold and trying to create more drama between us. I don't get it.
unreal Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Originally posted by azgirl unreal - I'm so sorry to hear that! At least now you are not left there hanging. Better to know than to be on pins and needles. My situation took another bad turn, as well. After last Thursday's evening together, he has gotten extremely distant again. I can't take this hot and cold business. It's driving me insane. I thought we'd reached an agreement on being friends for now and possibly working through things eventually. Now he's being rude and cold and trying to create more drama between us. I don't get it. azgirl, As much as I hate to say this and I really do. I think you should probably try and move on if he is back to acting like this again. I just don't know what to think anymore. None of this has ever made any sense to me. I know you can lead the heart to love, but you can't make it love if it doesn't want to. Maybe someday, he will realize what he lost? The day before yesterday, I had to do one of the hardest things in my entire life when I returned my ex girlfriends engagement ring to the store. The person I truly loved, looked up to, wanted to spend the rest of my life with and held in such high regard since I was 17 years old (I'm now 27), looks as if she cheated on me and left me for another man. Can you believe she still tells me that she is in love with me as we were breaking up Sunday? I think my exgirl has gotten caught up in the "new her" and wanted to experience what was out there. Maybe she thinks she can do better? I'm not sure? I kind of got her into working out at the gym. I've done it for about 3 years now. And she has been doing it for almost a year and she lost a bunch of weight and looks fantastic now(not that she didn't look great already before). Anyways, I think I'm going over to the coping board to check it out. I may see you over there...
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