jobaba Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Last night I was restless that I could not stop thinking about the situation. I did not want to bottle it up so I decided to write I a letter to her that I had no intention to actually give it to her. I was a pretty lengthy one page letter where I basically wrote I thought I should let you know something before I kick myself for not being able to ever tell you this. Then I went on to say how after all these years of not look for someone that when she came along everything changed and made me build up the courage to do something about it. I then said even though we really don't know each other that I liked her and was interested in getting to know her. There was a lot of other stuff too like how I rather have done this in person but I did not want to waste her time and that how I would like to hangout with her next week. I even mentioned that if she did not feel the same way then I would hope we could be or become friends. Where I then said that I will text you next week and if I don't hear a reply that I pretty much got the message. So what did I do with this letter? I let me stupid little heart actually give it to her. Now not in person though. Today was our final and I finished early and on the way to my car I passed by hers where I slipped in under her windshield wiper nice and tight where she could see it. And now I am stuck in a situation not knowing if she got the letter or not and if she did how come I am not hearing anything back. Guys I just think I pretty much screwed up everything by letting my heart out in that letter and actually getting it to her. Should I still text her next week to ask her to hangout? Should I except some sort of response from her from the letter? I know one thing for sure is that I am not going to text her to ask if she got it. Heck I am planning to actually lie low for awhile. Someone please help me... Dude... How could a girl not fall for that? That is some courageous and romantic sh@t dude. I don't care if you look like the elephant man, if I was a 20 year old girl I'd be all over you. You remind me of myself before I got all jaded and practical about women and relationships. You rock man! Oh, and women suck...
Author rman28 Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 Dude... How could a girl not fall for that? That is some courageous and romantic sh@t dude. I don't care if you look like the elephant man, if I was a 20 year old girl I'd be all over you. You remind me of myself before I got all jaded and practical about women and relationships. You rock man! Oh, and women suck... Wow! Jobaba I wasn't expecting that kind of response considering what soulm8 had mentioned earlier that was not the best of ideas. I'm glad you saw it that way but the fact of the matter is, at this very moment, I don't know if what I did helped me or hurt me. Deep inside I hope it helped but so far I heard nothing so I don't know. I really want to text her to find out but I am resisting the temptation and am going to wait until next week. But thats for that kind of support that made me feel a little better!
Dust Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Are you 28? Cause the letter thing was lame. If you really wanted to write her a letter you need to go all out love letter on her. Something like; every time I see you I feel like I'm about to lose control with the desire your presence fills me with. You truely have a face I'd follow to heaven or hell just for a chance to kiss those lips. you know something balsey instead of "I'm afraid to talk to you, I havn't had a girl in years..." Remember it's about being yourself... the best version of yourself! You left the note because you were to afraid to make a real move in person. You've made it very easy to reject you. Also you've put her in the position of having to be the guy and now ask you out or something.
soulm8 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 rman, it's my pleasure to help you however I can. At my age, trying to date and find love, I can't begin to tell you how frustrating it is for me to meet men who have been (obviously) USED, abused and spit out by women... and now they're bitter, extremely guarded and just out to get laid. It's depressing and in my opinion, tragic. If I can help men protect their hearts and dignity, they'll hopefully still have a healthy heart for the truly special girl. It's Wednesday evening. She told you that she was unavailable this weekend. I don't know. All I can offer now is that if she is interested, I'd like to think she couldn't let you suffer in silence for more than 24 hours... but that's me. I also don't lead men on... so I'm not sure what you're up against here. I've had my suspicions that she may be a bit of a tease... but her response will give you the answer. Let's put it this way... do you want to continue pursuing a girl who thinks it's acceptable to keep you hanging like this? I think it says a lot about her character and your compatibility, personally. Make some plans to hang out with some buddies. Take a mental break from her for a few days...
Author rman28 Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 No Dust I am not 28, that is just the day I was born on. I am 21 and so is she. As for being afraid and not confronting her in person being why I left the letter that is simply not the case. The fact of the matter is that I wanted to tell her face to face, like I have been doing things with her ever since. However, I was not going to wait after class for her again like I have done before to tell her how I felt. I simply wanted to put it out there therefore my letter was a way for me to do that without having to waste my time waiting for her just to tell her how I felt. I just finished an exam and so did she the last thing I am pretty sure both of us wanted to do was to talk things out. And if her intention was to simply reject me then I am glad I did this so I can just move on but if somehow this was not the case I am glad that I left her that letter to get things moving. As for love how can I write something that I know I don't feel. I'm definitely INTERESTED but I cannot say that I love her. I think that would freak her out more if I did say that. I just told her that I haven't been with a girl for years as a way to mention to her that there hasn't been a girl that has caught me attention as much as she did. And soulm8 I really appreciate your intentions and your wisdom. As for waiting for a response I am fine if she is just going to leave me hanging. I am going to get my answer eventually I know that for sure by next week so I am in no rush. I might not like it but I'll accept it. And once I learn these intentions I am sure things will work themselves out.
jobaba Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 rman, it's my pleasure to help you however I can. At my age, trying to date and find love, I can't begin to tell you how frustrating it is for me to meet men who have been (obviously) USED, abused and spit out by women... and now they're bitter, extremely guarded and just out to get laid. It's depressing and in my opinion, tragic. Yup. That would be me. Romance? Having feelings for someone who likes you back? Monogamous dating? Mythical... Slight hyperbole there. Perhaps Rman28 will fare better than I did back then and he won't be so jaded. Good advice though...
soulm8 Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Thanks jobaba! rman, now that you've disclosed your age, I really hope you can see what we've been saying... Save romantic gestures like letters, dinner, flowers or gifts, etc. for when the girl has NOT flaked or made you doubt her interest. Otherwise, you're wasting your time, energy and money on someone who simply enjoys receiving attention. There are relatively simple, painless ways to find out where you stand without having to bare your soul like you did... it's all in how she responds to you. If a girl flat out claims to be busy (or flakes out) and you readily accept it (no questions asked), you give her the impression that you're a doormat and her wishy-washy behavior is acceptable. Don't fall into that abyss!
YaOldBuckaroo Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Ok so about a week ago I finally built up some courage to ask this girl I like if she would like to go on a study date with me this week, actually today. She said yes, she gave me her number and I told her I would text her over mine and we can find out what time we could meet up and where. So right when I got her number I texted her over mine and told her to let me know when you are available and she simply replied "Ok!" Then comes today, I texted her if we were still going to meet up today and she replied, and I quote, "Hey just wondering where do you live maybe we live closer to each other to study in town?" That of course opposed to studying on campus, which none of us live on or are near by. So I texted her where I lived and then said, again quote, "Haha I live in *** but if you want to meet up somewhere closer to your place its not a problem for me I'm good anywhere" After hours of not getting a reply, I was not so worried about that I figured her had class, I texted her again saying "Sorry for the late reply I just got out of class but anyways we can meet up at some Starbucks nearby? Where do you live?" In which after twenty minutes she replied "I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight I forgot I have an appt I'm gonna study at my house tonight" and I replied back to her "Ok for sure no problem maybe some other time". Sorry for that long back story but after all that all I want to know is that if this is a sign of rejection? Should I just give up? Or should I, like I am planning to do tomorrow, meet her up after class and ask her if she wants to go out to the movies next weekend because tomorrow is the last lecture we have together before finals next week. What do you guys think? Sorry I am just hopelessly lost I haven't dated in years in this is my first time dealing with someone in college. Thanks for your help! Hey Yup everyone is right saying your game is weak. Didn't read all the replies, but I'd just like to say you need to avoid the cliche way of dating and attracting girls. That S*** just doesn't work anymore bro. You probably placed her under the impression that the two of you were going on a date, which in turn placed too much pressure on her right away. Also, you came on too weak, and probably do so during every social interaction you had with her in the past. Spice things up, but do so subtly that doesn't blow your cover. Show high social value to build real attraction. Found a helpful article for you. You may want to check it out.. http://www.scribd.com/doc/4654457/Attract-Women-With-4-Routines-From-Black-Belt-Seduction Max
Dust Posted December 15, 2011 Posted December 15, 2011 Thanks jobaba! rman, now that you've disclosed your age, I really hope you can see what we've been saying... Save romantic gestures like letters, dinner, flowers or gifts, etc. for when the girl has NOT flaked or made you doubt her interest. Otherwise, you're wasting your time, energy and money on someone who simply enjoys receiving attention. There are relatively simple, painless ways to find out where you stand without having to bare your soul like you did... it's all in how she responds to you. If a girl flat out claims to be busy (or flakes out) and you readily accept it (no questions asked), you give her the impression that you're a doormat and her wishy-washy behavior is acceptable. Don't fall into that abyss! I don't think it should be that painful to just ask a girl out. He puts the pressure on himself. He's to focused on one girl. The fact is the girl can sense and from the letter see he is making a big deal out of this and most likely this will just make her feel uncomfortable. Seriously she probably would have found it more amusing had he wrote her a letter about having a foot fetish. He just needs to have fun with this instead of calling it an ordeal. Go after more then one girl too. I'm not saying sleep with a bunch of women. I'm just saying flirt and ask out more then one girl till he gets a real connectioin going with one something more then just a casual relationship. Hey Yup everyone is right saying your game is weak. Didn't read all the replies, but I'd just like to say you need to avoid the cliche way of dating and attracting girls. That S*** just doesn't work anymore bro. You probably placed her under the impression that the two of you were going on a date, which in turn placed too much pressure on her right away. Also, you came on too weak, and probably do so during every social interaction you had with her in the past. Spice things up, but do so subtly that doesn't blow your cover. Show high social value to build real attraction. Found a helpful article for you. You may want to check it out.. http://www.scribd.com/doc/4654457/Attract-Women-With-4-Routines-From-Black-Belt-Seduction Max I'm not going to click on your link and neither should the OP. Either you make money from this stuff or you are brainwashed by some one who does. Seduction is simple in the fact that every one knows women like things like confidence, charm, and humor. It's pulling it off that is the hard part and that motivation is better when it comes from some place other then a guy claiming to be a self proclaimed Casanova who can turn you into Romeo.
Author rman28 Posted December 15, 2011 Author Posted December 15, 2011 This by no means was an attempt in being romantic or cliche or anything like that. The letter I simply wrote was just being straight forward in honest, I was not very deep in emotions at all. The most emotional thing I probably said in there was that she has been the only girl in years that has sparked my interest so much, when I had no intention at all to even get myself to being or dating anyone, that made me change my onset. The whole point of the letter, even though initially it was not going to be something I gave her, was just to be straight up telling her that I like her and I was interested in her to just get something going or not. Period. I am glad I put this pressure on myself because at least I know something or nothing will happen, thats the whole point. I really wish I could have kept a copy of that letter because there was nothing in there that made it seem this whole thing was a big ordeal and I guess I did it the way I did so that it would give her time to think about it if I am worth her time the same way if she is worth mine. I could have been upfront and come out desperate telling her this to her face but what girl would want to be put on the spot? At least with the letter she can at least think about it without having to immediately react or feel pressured to do so, even if she is just thinking about how to get out of it. Guys I know this whole thing sounds weak, cliche and stupid but the whole overall point of this situation is that is she worth my time or not. And I much rather find out the hard way then just go through all these games and waste even more time. As for going out with other girls I would gladly do that but, I don't know if you guys can tell, thats not really my MO. I much rather be focusing on my studies than this. So if it this whole thing works out then great I won't have to waste my time playing the game and can just get on with the dating. And if not fine with me I will just live life how I have been for the past couple of years, and trust me I was happier how I was living then than how I am living now. I hope all of you guys can see and understand where I am coming from now...
Dust Posted December 16, 2011 Posted December 16, 2011 This by no means was an attempt in being romantic or cliche or anything like that. The letter I simply wrote was just being straight forward in honest, I was not very deep in emotions at all. The most emotional thing I probably said in there was that she has been the only girl in years that has sparked my interest so much, when I had no intention at all to even get myself to being or dating anyone, that made me change my onset. The whole point of the letter, even though initially it was not going to be something I gave her, was just to be straight up telling her that I like her and I was interested in her to just get something going or not. Period. I am glad I put this pressure on myself because at least I know something or nothing will happen, thats the whole point. I really wish I could have kept a copy of that letter because there was nothing in there that made it seem this whole thing was a big ordeal and I guess I did it the way I did so that it would give her time to think about it if I am worth her time the same way if she is worth mine. I could have been upfront and come out desperate telling her this to her face but what girl would want to be put on the spot? At least with the letter she can at least think about it without having to immediately react or feel pressured to do so, even if she is just thinking about how to get out of it. Guys I know this whole thing sounds weak, cliche and stupid but the whole overall point of this situation is that is she worth my time or not. And I much rather find out the hard way then just go through all these games and waste even more time. As for going out with other girls I would gladly do that but, I don't know if you guys can tell, thats not really my MO. I much rather be focusing on my studies than this. So if it this whole thing works out then great I won't have to waste my time playing the game and can just get on with the dating. And if not fine with me I will just live life how I have been for the past couple of years, and trust me I was happier how I was living then than how I am living now. I hope all of you guys can see and understand where I am coming from now... We're all older then you. Also we're the ones trying to helpy you. We don't need to understand where you are coming from. All we have to do is cheer you on. My advice is change your entire attitude. Stop worrying about if you are wasting your time and trying to jump to the point of getting a yes or no answer if she wants to be your gf or what ever. Life is a journey not a destination. You want to be a cool guy stop worrying about if a girl is going to be your gf or not and just have fun with her. Be yourself. If you think you're being cliche then you arn't being yourself.
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