Should I give up or try again?

[rman28]

Ok so about a week ago I finally built up some courage to ask this girl I like if she would like to go on a study date with me this week, actually today. She said yes, she gave me her number and I told her I would text her over mine and we can find out what time we could meet up and where. So right when I got her number I texted her over mine and told her to let me know when you are available and she simply replied "Ok!" Then comes today, I texted her if we were still going to meet up today and she replied, and I quote, "Hey just wondering where do you live maybe we live closer to each other to study in town?" That of course opposed to studying on campus, which none of us live on or are near by. So I texted her where I lived and then said, again quote, "Haha I live in *** but if you want to meet up somewhere closer to your place its not a problem for me I'm good anywhere" After hours of not getting a reply, I was not so worried about that I figured her had class, I texted her again saying "Sorry for the late reply I just got out of class but anyways we can meet up at some Starbucks nearby? Where do you live?" In which after twenty minutes she replied "I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight I forgot I have an appt I'm gonna study at my house tonight" and I replied back to her "Ok for sure no problem maybe some other time".

Sorry for that long back story but after all that all I want to know is that if this is a sign of rejection? Should I just give up? Or should I, like I am planning to do tomorrow, meet her up after class and ask her if she wants to go out to the movies next weekend because tomorrow is the last lecture we have together before finals next week. What do you guys think? Sorry I am just hopelessly lost I haven't dated in years in this is my first time dealing with someone in college. Thanks for your help!

Edited December 8, 2011 by rman28

[Pizzaman81]

Maybe you asked where she lived and she got freaked out? Are you missing anything else from your story? Maybe she just gave you her number because she didn't want to reject you right there.

 

Well... I would wait like a few days and try one more time. Just one more.

Edited December 8, 2011 by Pizzaman81

[rman28]

Maybe you asked where she lived and she got freaked out? Are you missing anything else from your story? Maybe she just gave you her number because she didn't want to reject you right there.

 

Well... I would wait like a few days and try one more time. Just one more.

 

Well she asked where I lived so I was just trying to coordinate with her. But that is what got me so confused she wanted to know if we could study somewhere closer than on campus and then she just flaked. And it is not like I just met her and got her number, I have been talking to her for 10 weeks! And if I could wait a couple of days to ask her I would but really thats not an option at the moment...

[jobaba]

Ok so about a week ago I finally built up some courage to ask this girl I like if she would like to go on a study date with me this week, actually today. She said yes, she gave me her number and I told her I would text her over mine and we can find out what time we could meet up and where. So right when I got her number I texted her over mine and told her to let me know when you are available and she simply replied "Ok!" Then comes today, I texted her if we were still going to meet up today and she replied, and I quote, "Hey just wondering where do you live maybe we live closer to each other to study in town?" That of course opposed to studying on campus, which none of us live on or are near by. So I texted her where I lived and then said, again quote, "Haha I live in *** but if you want to meet up somewhere closer to your place its not a problem for me I'm good anywhere" After hours of not getting a reply, I was not so worried about that I figured her had class, I texted her again saying "Sorry for the late reply I just got out of class but anyways we can meet up at some Starbucks nearby? Where do you live?" In which after twenty minutes she replied "I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight I forgot I have an appt I'm gonna study at my house tonight" and I replied back to her "Ok for sure no problem maybe some other time".

Sorry for that long back story but after all that all I want to know is that if this is a sign of rejection? Should I just give up? Or should I, like I am planning to do tomorrow, meet her up after class and ask her if she wants to go out to the movies next weekend because tomorrow is the last lecture we have together before finals next week. What do you guys think? Sorry I am just hopelessly lost I haven't dated in years in this is my first time dealing with someone in college. Thanks for your help!

 

I know you're in college and you're a young guy, but ... your game is weak. Feeble.

 

I'm no Don Juan DeMarco myself, but you need to be more assertive and bold than that. Study date is lame. The movies are lame. College kids party! If she's any attractive at all, she'll think your ideas are lame and you are boring. If she thought you were hot, it wouldn't matter. But based on your story, she doesn't. Which doesn't mean you can't get her. You're just competing with other dudes though, remember that.

 

Think of something more exciting like a party or concert or something and come back and say I'm doing ______, you should come hang with me. It'll be a sick time (or whatever kids say these days). You don't have to do it in class, just give the hint that you want to hang with her in the future and then call her when you get an appropriate event. You have her #.

 

Even if she's one of those goody too-shoes doesn't drink types, you still need to come stronger...

 

Remember ... you are always competing against other guys. Think accordingly...

[rman28]

I know you're in college and you're a young guy, but ... your game is weak. Feeble.

 

I'm no Don Juan DeMarco myself, but you need to be more assertive and bold than that. Study date is lame. The movies are lame. College kids party! If she's any attractive at all, she'll think your ideas are lame and you are boring. If she thought you were hot, it wouldn't matter. But based on your story, she doesn't. Which doesn't mean you can't get her. You're just competing with other dudes though, remember that.

 

Think of something more exciting like a party or concert or something and come back and say I'm doing ______, you should come hang with me. It'll be a sick time (or whatever kids say these days). You don't have to do it in class, just give the hint that you want to hang with her in the future and then call her when you get an appropriate event. You have her #.

 

Even if she's one of those goody too-shoes doesn't drink types, you still need to come stronger...

 

Remember ... you are always competing against other guys. Think accordingly...

 

Yeah I know my game is not all that great... and as much as that might work in most colleges I go to a small private Christian one where everything is pretty much PG. So in that regards I know enough about her to know that won't flow. Plus I want to do something that will be comfortable for her, I don't like putting pressure. But all I really want to know is if I should just ask her to do something?

[jobaba]

Yeah I know my game is not all that great... and as much as that might work in most colleges I go to a small private Christian one where everything is pretty much PG. So in that regards I know enough about her to know that won't flow. Plus I want to do something that will be comfortable for her, I don't like putting pressure. But all I really want to know is if I should just ask her to do something?

 

Oh. Well if that's the case, then I'm not sure. If she's as innocent as you make her sound, asking her to go the movies on the last day of class might be fine.

 

Good luck.

[rman28]

Oh. Well if that's the case, then I'm not sure. If she's as innocent as you make her sound, asking her to go the movies on the last day of class might be fine.

 

Good luck.

 

You don't think that from her text that I am pretty much already rejected? Lol

[jobaba]

You don't think that from her text that I am pretty much already rejected? Lol

 

Maybe. But it doesn't hurt to get an answer. I mean you 'could' forget about it, but it's obvious you still care because you're on here asking. So go get closure. Don't worry about making her feel uncomfortable. She owes you that at least for having the courage to approach her and put yourself on the line for rejection.

[soulm8]

So right when I got her number I texted her over mine and told her to let me know when you are available and she simply replied "Ok!"

 

After hours of not getting a reply, I was not so worried about that I figured her had class, I texted her again saying "Sorry for the late reply I just got out of class but anyways we can meet up at some Starbucks nearby? Where do you live?" In which after twenty minutes she replied "I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight I forgot I have an appt I'm gonna study at my house tonight" and I replied back to her "Ok for sure no problem maybe some other time".

 

should I meet her up after class and ask her if she wants to go out to the movies next weekend because tomorrow is the last lecture we have together before finals next week.

 

Next time, don't bother texting over your number... your text arrives from your number.

 

I can understand you wanting to know either way if she was still into hanging out/studying, but why on earth would you apologize for your "late reply"? :S

 

Her reply strikes me as a rejection - there is no hint of consideration for your feelings.

 

You told her "some other time" - stick to that! Now she needs to wonder if you're still interested in her.

[rman28]

Maybe. But it doesn't hurt to get an answer. I mean you 'could' forget about it, but it's obvious you still care because you're on here asking. So go get closure. Don't worry about making her feel uncomfortable. She owes you that at least for having the courage to approach her and put yourself on the line for rejection.

 

Yeah I know I just don't want to come off desperate either but I think I might just ask her while walking her to her next class. You think if I were to be straight up and tell her that I like her would be a bad idea? It's not like I would do that but from an opinion stand point does that sound like a bad idea?

[rman28]

Next time, don't bother texting over your number... your text arrives from your number.

 

I can understand you wanting to know either way if she was still into hanging out/studying, but why on earth would you apologize for your "late reply"? :S

 

Her reply strikes me as a rejection - there is no hint of consideration for your feelings.

 

You told her "some other time" - stick to that! Now she needs to wonder if you're still interested in her.

 

I just apologize out of habit, I didn't want her to think I was being inconsiderate... It is just so confusing one text she sounds like she's ready to go out and the next is the polar opposite. I'm just so confused!

[soulm8]

Very bad idea! She knows (already). Make her wonder just a little bit... she needs to show you that she likes you as well. So far nothing points in that direction

[rman28]

Very bad idea! She knows (already). Make her wonder just a little bit... she needs to show you that she likes you as well. So far nothing points in that direction

 

So should I just ask her to go to the movies just as a friendly thing so I can get some sort of idea? I mean I have been getting signals from her she was interested from all the pictures she loves taking with me to the way she always touched me and made me touch her... I just hate that we never got a chance to be one on one with each other I just want a chance.

[soulm8]

I just apologize out of habit, I didn't want her to think I was being inconsiderate... It is just so confusing one text she sounds like she's ready to go out and the next is the polar opposite. I'm just so confused!

 

I understand that... but she doesn't seem to be very considerate of you so don't be apologizing for her inconsideration!

 

Understandably confused.

 

So should I just ask her to go to the movies just as a friendly thing so I can get some sort of idea? I mean I have been getting signals from her she was interested from all the pictures she loves taking with me to the way she always touched me and made me touch her... I just hate that we never got a chance to be one on one with each other I just want a chance.

 

I'm getting a sense of urgency from you as if you have to make a move before the exam or whatever... but relax! You have her number

 

If you want to take her to the movies, there's no harm in asking.

Edited December 8, 2011 by soulm8

[rman28]

I understand that... but she doesn't seem to be very considerate of you so don't be apologizing for her inconsideration!

 

Understandably confused.

 

Exactly it's the confusion that is killing me... all in the same day... lol Like I start to think maybe something did come up, maybe she wasn't completely ready, maybe she really needed to study by herself (considering our exam is also tomorrow) and then I think maybe she is not interested, maybe it's too late. I really don't know...

[rman28]

I understand that... but she doesn't seem to be very considerate of you so don't be apologizing for her inconsideration!

 

Understandably confused.

 

 

 

I'm getting a sense of urgency from you as if you have to make a move before the exam or whatever... but relax! You have her number

 

If you want to take her to the movies, there's no harm in asking.

 

So you think tomorrow isn't too soon? Like I wish I had more time but unfortunately I don't... I would like to text her sometime but I personally like doing things in person just to show her that I care, I am interested and I have enough confidence to tell her this in person.

[rman28]

Oh and soulm8 thank you sooo much for your time! I really appreciate your opinion its easing my mind having someone else to talk this over with!

[soulm8]

After hours of not getting a reply, I texted her again saying "Sorry for the late reply I just got out of class but anyways we can meet up at some Starbucks nearby? Where do you live?" In which after twenty minutes she replied "I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight I forgot I have an appt I'm gonna study at my house tonight" and I replied back to her "Ok for sure no problem maybe some other time".

 

Again, relax! She could've had an appt tonight that she legitimately had forgotten about. The inconsiderate part was not replying for hours and then her reply was pretty luke warm. You'll have a better idea when you see her tomorrow.

 

Good luck!

 

LOL each time I reply, there's a new post!! We don't know how the two of you have been interacting in person - only you know that. Based on what you've posted, however, it sounds like you might be mistaking her flirty behavior for liking you. I hope we're wrong... keep us posted!!

Edited December 8, 2011 by soulm8

[rman28]

Again, relax! She could've had an appt tonight that she legitimately had forgotten about. The inconsiderate part was not replying for hours and then her reply was pretty luke warm. You'll have a better idea when you see her tomorrow.

 

Good luck!

 

LOL each time I reply, there's a new post!! We don't know how the two of you have been interacting in person - only you know that. Based on what you've posted, however, it sounds like you might be mistaking her flirty behavior for liking you. I hope we're wrong... keep us posted!!

 

I don't know if that is her behavior or not because I sure don't see her doing that with other people she has known before she met me in our class... Anyways hopefully I will have enough nerves to ask it, it was hard enough the first time just to go study! And thanks again!

[soulm8]

I don't know if that is her behavior or not because I sure don't see her doing that with other people she has known before she met me in our class... Anyways hopefully I will have enough nerves to ask it, it was hard enough the first time just to go study! And thanks again!

 

Hey! It did take guts to ask her to study... but it didn't happen. She didn't suggest a better day or time... so *my* opinion is that you should act like today never happened.

 

If I were you, I'd see if we could actually get a study date to happen before going to a movie.

 

I wish you the best

[rman28]

Hey! It did take guts to ask her to study... but it didn't happen. She didn't suggest a better day or time... so *my* opinion is that you should act like today never happened.

 

If I were you, I'd see if we could actually get a study date to happen before going to a movie.

 

I wish you the best

 

Thank's again and I shall keep you updated if I build up enough courage to ask either... And thanks for the well wishes! If you don't mind I have one more question? Since we have an exam tomorrow say that I finish before her would she find it weird if I waited outside of class just to talk to her? I was planning on if that happened to walk her to next class anyways to ask.

[rman28]

Hey guys, after a long night of thinking I came up with is if the moment is right I would meet her after class and apologize to her for the lack of coordination and for things not working out. And if it feels right I might ask her out again or maybe, and this is a huge MAYBE, tell her straight up how I feel just to get some closure if any.

 

PS- I would appreciate an answer in the next hour or so considering I will see her then...

Edited December 8, 2011 by rman28

[rman28]

UPDATE: So this morning I just decided to follow my heart. Since we had the exam today I did not approach her at the beginning of class nor did I say hi to her figuring that we both had this test running through our mind. I finished mine before her and I decided to wait outside the lecture hall for her. She came out a few minutes later and I caught up with her and I just started walking and talking to her telling her 'listen I just wanted to tell you I felt really bad for what happened yesterday and I just wanted to apologize.' that kind of caught her off guard and she just asked 'for what' and I told her for the lack of coordination and that I felt bad how we planned it out and it didn't work out because I didn't bother to plan ahead of time. She then replied 'don't be silly its fine really don't be sorry you didn't do anything' so then I just asked her how she thought she did on the exam, we discussed some questions and all that stuff. I asked her if she had another class she was going to and she said no she was just walking to her car and if I had one and I told her I did where she then said "oh I hope I'm not going to get you late!" in which I replied 'it doesn't matter I can be." So then I built up some confidence again and I asked her 'hey if you ever want to try studying for final with me we could meet up if you are not busy' in which she immediately replied 'yeah we really should!' That is when I pounced and I was like so when do you want to do it, in which then we were able to then coordinate a definitive place and time for sure. I then told her again I was sorry for last night in which she said "stop saying that!" we then said goodbye as I had to run to class and she was getting near her car. I can't say whether this is a good sign or not until we actually meet up but I am pretty satisfied. What do you guys think?

[soulm8]

She came out a few minutes later and I caught up with her and I just started walking and talking to her telling her 'listen I just wanted to tell you I felt really bad for what happened yesterday and I just wanted to apologize.' that kind of caught her off guard and she just asked 'for what' and I told her for the lack of coordination and that I felt bad how we planned it out and it didn't work out because I didn't bother to plan ahead of time. She then replied 'don't be silly its fine really don't be sorry you didn't do anything' So then I built up some confidence again and I asked her 'hey if you ever want to try studying for final with me we could meet up if you are not busy' in which she immediately replied 'yeah we really should!' That is when I pounced and I was like so when do you want to do it, in which then we were able to then coordinate a definitive place and time for sure. I then told her again I was sorry for last night in which she said "stop saying that!" I can't say whether this is a good sign or not until we actually meet up but I am pretty satisfied. What do you guys think?

 

Why do you keep apologizing for the stuff that SHE'S done? It really sounds as if she's only being polite to you... stringing you along.

 

You've made it absolutely clear and obvious that you're interested and wanting to get together - now please, please, please back off and wait for her to step up! There are no good signs here... everything points towards her stringing you along. It's a lot easier for some people to simply agree to things face to face only to flake out later with the comfort of a phone or computer.

 

Did you pin down a place and time? I really hope she doesn't come up with an excuse.

[rman28]

Why do you keep apologizing for the stuff that SHE'S done? It really sounds as if she's only being polite to you... stringing you along.

 

You've made it absolutely clear and obvious that you're interested and wanting to get together - now please, please, please back off and wait for her to step up! There are no good signs here... everything points towards her stringing you along. It's a lot easier for some people to simply agree to things face to face only to flake out later with the comfort of a phone or computer.

 

Did you pin down a place and time? I really hope she doesn't come up with an excuse.

 

I know it sounds bad for me to apologize but I did feel in part it was my fault for not coordinating things earlier and leaving things to the last minute. I know it sounds like see is stringing me along but from my experience it seemed pretty legit. As for place and time we got that all nailed down but I'm not taking this all too serious until it actually happens. Until then it is just going to be a wait and see kind of thing.