ShannonMI Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 What not to do after a first date. Where do you find these articles, girl? Hahahahaha good one:lmao: All I have to say is the guy is clearly a stalker. Obsess much? Going blow by blow through the whole date was weird. And saying he googled her email address? What a creep. I'm sure after his epic novel of an email she DIDN'T give him an apology OR a second date. What a clown. I skimmed that sh*t as I'm sure the girl did. I wouldn't waste my time reading such a thing.
FrustrationSetsIn Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Where do you find these articles, girl? Hahahahaha good one:lmao: All I have to say is the guy is clearly a stalker. Obsess much? Going blow by blow through the whole date was weird. And saying he googled her email address? What a creep. I'm sure after his epic novel of an email she DIDN'T give him an apology OR a second date. What a clown. I skimmed that sh*t as I'm sure the girl did. I wouldn't waste my time reading such a thing. Maybe the guy is a bit messed up, sure. But she could had at least told him she wasn't interested instead of ignoring him. Would it had changed the way he acted, I don't know. But her saying something would had been better than saying nothing.
oaks Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 I still haven't decided if I believe this story - it's tickling my spider-sense - but I keep seeing it (eg shared by various friends on facebook). Here's another version:
Beachgirl8 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Wow. That is bananas. Imagine if she had gone on 3 dates with him before deciding to stop seeing him. He might have written a novel the size of War and Peace
ShannonMI Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Maybe the guy is a bit messed up, sure. But she could had at least told him she wasn't interested instead of ignoring him. Would it had changed the way he acted, I don't know. But her saying something would had been better than saying nothing. Oh of course she could have told him up front. She didn't though so clearly if she was ignoring him she wasn't interested. TAKE A HINT AND MOVE ON!!!! Writing that email just solidified that he's desperate and a wacko. There is no bigger turn off then that. Did he really think after she read (or skimmed) that email, she was going to all of a sudden call him? Hahahahahahaha so silly.
oaks Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 At the opposite end of the spectrum, this guy seems to be doing it right: http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2011/12/07/its-dangerous-to-go-alone-marry-me-pic/
FrustrationSetsIn Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Oh of course she could have told him up front. She didn't though so clearly if she was ignoring him she wasn't interested. TAKE A HINT AND MOVE ON!!!! Writing that email just solidified that he's desperate and a wacko. There is no bigger turn off then that. Did he really think after she read (or skimmed) that email, she was going to all of a sudden call him? Hahahahahahaha so silly. See that's one thing I never got about people in general. Why do people have to take hints? So she didn't want to see him again, what's 2 minutes responding "you're not my type, good luck out there" going to hurt? All the ignoring did in this case was leave him to obsesses with the thoughts in his head and cause him to act out in a very stalkerish kind of way.
Beachgirl8 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 That's a double edged sword. Because many times if a girl sends the "I don't think we are a match, but good luck on your search" message, it exacerbates the stalkerish behavior. I've always felt that no explanation is necessary and no response should be enough for a guy to take a hint unless you have gone on 2-3 dates.
ShannonMI Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 See that's one thing I never got about people in general. Why do people have to take hints? So she didn't want to see him again, what's 2 minutes responding "you're not my type, good luck out there" going to hurt? All the ignoring did in this case was leave him to obsesses with the thoughts in his head and cause him to act out in a very stalkerish kind of way. Some people avoid confrontation. It's annoying no doubt, but if someone acts in such a childish manner, just let it go. Are they really worth your time? Don't blow up their email with a novel stating all the things they did or didn't do and demanding an apology.
ShannonMI Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 That's a double edged sword. Because many times if a girl sends the "I don't think we are a match, but good luck on your search" message, it exacerbates the stalkerish behavior. I've always felt that no explanation is necessary and no response should be enough for a guy to take a hint unless you have gone on 2-3 dates. Exactly. He'll be writing a novel about why he's TOTALLY her type and a perfect match. A stalker is a stalker. He's unstable and he's going to stalk your ass regardless of how you go about dealing with him.
MrNate 2.0 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 She could've easily solved this problem by coming with me.
lululucy Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 That's a double edged sword. Because many times if a girl sends the "I don't think we are a match, but good luck on your search" message, it exacerbates the stalkerish behavior. I've always felt that no explanation is necessary and no response should be enough for a guy to take a hint unless you have gone on 2-3 dates. Agreed. After a first date, there isn't obligation to say you're not interested. Especially after that many calls and texts and then stalker-finding her email.. shesh
mo mo Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 The guy clearly went over the line, but in a way, I feel his pain. If you are on a date and you have no reason to believe someone isn't interested in you, it can be very confusing when the person begins to avoid you. The girl said it was a "horrific" date. I see no details of how it was horrific. She was a little flirty with her body language and said it was nice to meet him. I don't see why it would have been so hard for her to tell him she wasn't interested or had something else going on. Think the guy didn't get the hint? Well, it works both ways. You don't go on a date with someone, disappear completely, and expect your actions to be justified. People who do this kind of thing need to "get the hint" that this is selfish, immature, and irresponsible behavior.
mo mo Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Agreed. After a first date, there isn't obligation to say you're not interested. Especially after that many calls and texts and then stalker-finding her email.. shesh Actually there is. After the first call, you let the person know you aren't interested, move along. If you really want to justify this behavior then you're freely admitting that you are immature.
mo mo Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Where do you find these articles, girl? Hahahahaha good one:lmao: All I have to say is the guy is clearly a stalker. Obsess much? Going blow by blow through the whole date was weird. And saying he googled her email address? What a creep. I'm sure after his epic novel of an email she DIDN'T give him an apology OR a second date. What a clown. I skimmed that sh*t as I'm sure the girl did. I wouldn't waste my time reading such a thing. I'd say calling him a stalker is a bit much. Is he desperate? Obviously. Can people like me relate to his experience and see why he thinks the way he did? Totally. He's an investment banker and obviously quite intelligent. He is a problem solver by nature. If he has a few issues with women, he tries to straighten up so that there will be no issues in the future. In this case, he probably had no reason to believe he did anything wrong on the date, so he was confused as to why he was getting the cold shoulder. In his head, he probably said "enough is enough" and decided to take action. I've gone through similar situations (though, admittedly, I never went as far as to obtain personal information from the girl to call her out), so I can totally understand his frustration. For instance, a few months ago, a girl from work was really flirty with me, she gave me her number and everything, and I told her we should meet up one day. The day came and she totally flaked and began to avoid me. About a week and a half later I reached out to her by text, she had deleted my number, didn't know who I was. Was I being a stalker? Was I not getting the hint? None of that matters because she was obviously being immature. ~sigh~ so glad I am in a healthy relationship now. It will be 3 months on Saturday!!!
ShannonMI Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 (edited) I'd say calling him a stalker is a bit much. Is he desperate? Obviously. Can people like me relate to his experience and see why he thinks the way he did? Totally. He's an investment banker and obviously quite intelligent. He is a problem solver by nature. If he has a few issues with women, he tries to straighten up so that there will be no issues in the future. In this case, he probably had no reason to believe he did anything wrong on the date, so he was confused as to why he was getting the cold shoulder. In his head, he probably said "enough is enough" and decided to take action. I've gone through similar situations (though, admittedly, I never went as far as to obtain personal information from the girl to call her out), so I can totally understand his frustration. For instance, a few months ago, a girl from work was really flirty with me, she gave me her number and everything, and I told her we should meet up one day. The day came and she totally flaked and began to avoid me. About a week and a half later I reached out to her by text, she had deleted my number, didn't know who I was. Was I being a stalker? Was I not getting the hint? None of that matters because she was obviously being immature. ~sigh~ so glad I am in a healthy relationship now. It will be 3 months on Saturday!!! Congrats on the 3 month mark:) Dude is a creepy stalker-type. Texting her and calling her a bunch of times. Doesn't take a hint so he takes it a step further. Googling a chick's email and writing a 10 page email is f*cking stalkerish. Is he going to follow her around and plant a GPS in her car? No, probably not but he has stalk-like characteristics. Just calling it like I see it. And just because he is an intelligent investment banker doesn't mean sh*t. Ted Bundy was a highly intelligent law student and even worked for local politicians in Seattle. So that argument means nothing, honey. Edited December 8, 2011 by ShannonMI
mo mo Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Congrats on the 3 month mark:) Dude is a creepy stalker-type. Texting her and calling her a bunch of times. Doesn't take a hint so he takes it a step further. Googling a chick's email and writing a 10 page email is f*cking stalkerish. Is he going to follow her around and plant a GPS in her car? No, probably not but he has stalk-like characteristics. Just calling it like I see it. And just because he is an intelligent investment banker doesn't mean sh*t. Ted Bundy was a highly intelligent law student and even worked for local politicians in Seattle. So that argument means nothing, honey. I'm not saying his level of intelligence excuses him, I'm just saying I know when a guy is used to being able to use his brain to solve complex issues, an issue like this with a woman can really screw with his way of thinking. He's desperate for answers, more than anything. He did take some rather unusual measures to try to get them, but like I said, I could understand why he'd want some kind of explanation. Expecting him to "get the hint" really does not help anyone.
ShannonMI Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 I'm not saying his level of intelligence excuses him, I'm just saying I know when a guy is used to being able to use his brain to solve complex issues, an issue like this with a woman can really screw with his way of thinking. He's desperate for answers, more than anything. He did take some rather unusual measures to try to get them, but like I said, I could understand why he'd want some kind of explanation. Expecting him to "get the hint" really does not help anyone. Don't you know us women are really hard to figure out? There is no "problem solving" when it comes to us. I agree that the girl should have been up front with him and just said "I didn't feel a connection" or whatever. Although from his email he REALLY thought she liked him, so my guess is he would have tried to convince her otherwise. Oh well such is life. Hope the poor bastard learned his lesson. Now his email is viral:lmao:
mo mo Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Don't you know us women are really hard to figure out? There is no "problem solving" when it comes to us. I agree that the girl should have been up front with him and just said "I didn't feel a connection" or whatever. Although from his email he REALLY thought she liked him, so my guess is he would have tried to convince her otherwise. Oh well such is life. Hope the poor bastard learned his lesson. Now his email is viral:lmao: In response to the bolded: I used to really think that way, and I was getting a bit hopeless for a while because I was beginning to think there was no way I was going to meet a woman who understood my way of thinking and handling of relationships and vice versa.... ...... until I met my gf. She changed everything. 3 months!! WOOOO HOOO
ChessPieceFace Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 What not to do after a first date: betray someone's trust and post their personal email on the internet.
dispatch3d Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Some people avoid confrontation. It's annoying no doubt, but if someone acts in such a childish manner, just let it go. Are they really worth your time? Don't blow up their email with a novel stating all the things they did or didn't do and demanding an apology. To be fair, the only thing out of the ordinary is the novel. Lots of people blow up at each other and demand apologies all the time. Super annoying. Probably don't blow up that bad, but they still get pissed.
dispatch3d Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 What not to do after a first date: write a personal email. Anyhow, he shouldn't have flipped out at her for not responding to his calls+texts. Honestly, the most I've called is 3 times. To be fair, sometimes girls like you but are flaky anyways from anxiety or whatever. I know I've had 100 times more success calling girls, asking them out, then going on dates than anything that starts with facebook or texting. I've also had girls flake on texts and facebook, then hit on me again, then flake again, rinse repeat. Or I tried to schedule stuff with girls, flake flake flake, 2 years later they are pissed I stopped talking to them (?!?!?!). So yeah, giving a "hint" is helpful.
Author FitChick Posted December 8, 2011 Author Posted December 8, 2011 I hope we find what his reaction is to this publicity. He could look like Jabba the Hut but as an investment banker, he'd definitely get some golddiggers who'd be happy to go out with him. I think anything she would have said would have gotten an argument. He seems to think he could persuade her that her feelings were wrong. I think his next step would have been a PowerPoint presentation. He's probably very successful in business but the same traits are useless in relationships.
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